He died and I don't know how to deal with it
Seeing AP for 18 years. Went through highs and lows but were nicely settled in the past few years, saw each other most week days. I split with my BS, not because they found out, but because he was abusive, but AP had a BS with a life limiting condition and they couldn't see how to leave their BS without causing their adult children to return home to become a carer. Last week I was working and had an incredibly weird sensation and feeling about AP. They didn't contact that night but were expecting a visitor so I thought nothing of it. No word Monday which is hugely odd, I did some online stalking and knew something had happened. Had it confirmed by a mutual friend yesterday that AP died suddenly around the same time I had my odd feeling - I sent a message to our dummy number at the time so I know I haven't made it up. But now I don't know how to cope. No one in my life knows about AP. I have to work, look after my kids, go about my normal life and inside I am screaming. I am utterly heartbroken. I know this is the price I have to pay for loving and being loved by him but it hurts so bad.
2 comments posted: Thursday, May 16th, 2024
