New BS Struggling

I found out that my husband of over 30 years has been seeing escorts. I found out 4 days ago. It's been a rollercoaster of emotions. I know it sounds crazy but I know he loves me. He wants to reconcile and he's told me everything and laid it all out on the table. We have talked and talked and I suspect will talk some more. Our intimate relationship hasn't been good for quite a long time from my part and this is something I know if we are to remain together we will need to work on. That's so far down the line at the moment. The first day or two I was behaving really weirdly, almost giddy like nothing had happened then it hit.

I'm just a mess. Trying to eat and look after myself but feel when I'm on my own I spiral into negative thoughts. I'm better when he's here and we're talking. I have no one to talk to. Mainly as I'm so ashamed of what he's done and don't want to tell anyone. My parents are very old and sick. My closest friend who knows us both is away and I don't want to trouble her until she's back (if at all).

I may see a doc re. some medication to help me but will see. I've had to cancel work as I've become so stressed I can't focus. Part of me feels I should push through but now I've cancelled a day I know I can just focus on sleep and my thoughts.

I'm glad I've found this site. Helpful to have the information on how to deal with all the emotions and practicalities.

14 comments posted: Wednesday, August 21st, 2024