Could use some help!

Man, where do i start? I am sooooooo struggling. I think I’m a great guy. prior Navy fighter pilot, now airline pilot. Funny. Good looking. Smart.

But my wife has had a "high school" crush on another guy. for a while. thinking about him etc. she made rules for herself 3 months ago about not texting him, etc. but then he texted her recently. and he admitted that he liked her. of course she responded in kind. and they texted a bunch. then they sexted. but then she says she felt terrible and ended it. didn’t like where things were heading. she was somewhat honest and told me some of the details after me, and the kids, both confronted her separately about having an affair that she’s been acting strange and distant for a while. she says she choses us but won’t tell me but a few details of the interaction. she won’t tell me who, and he's local. and she deleted all the texts. and she says she blocked him, allegedly. our trust is pretty broken. we’ve been together for 25 years. it. is. killing. me!! what do i do?!

WHY won’t she be honest and tell me everything?! Especially when i explicitly ask for it. why the ongoing secrets if she "choses us"?!

What else is she hiding from me?! I feel like i can’t move forward and try to heal with the things hanging over my head.

i need help. we’re going to see some marriage counseling. and talking to a friend that dealt with a similar issue.

Any advice would be awesome!

17 comments posted: Wednesday, November 6th, 2024