Just filed contested divorce and I am freaking out.

Well, long story short I am a military officer, married to my wife almost 9 years now, together for 11, no kids. I deployed last July and got back in Dec to things feeling off, physical intimacy was more but everything else felt weird.

Long story short I found out in March that she had been having an affair when I caught them in his car together while I was supposed to be at work. She then swore no contact, it wasn’t serious, they only kissed once, and more lies which I believed because we never had any problems before ever. From then on I was playing pick me in every way possible, outings notes events dates.

I then discovered that they were still seeing eachother and eventually in June caught them at a hotel another night I was supposed to be at work. At this point I was raging as the same morning we were saying I love you and how we were working on us.

Many fights and me trying to kick her out and divorce her later she again swore no contact that it was finally over, and I gave her the requested space to get over it. Things weren’t good but weren’t bad, no going out or sneaking but also no connection with us at all besides friendliness.

Fast forward to August, I get off work early and see her phone at the store across the way, I drive over to say hi and I literally walk up to her in his car making out with him. They didn’t even see me, I watched for like 10-15 seconds before I walked up told the guy good luck and asked her if she would finally agree and leave me.

After initially saying she would go he then dumped her because he thought I was keeping her here and he was hurt (hilariously) And now she is being the absolute perfect wife in every way, and she almost got me too, until I found all of the gifts he had given her and she then refused to get rid of them.

After about two weeks of me saying that was my hard line and her saying no and asking for time and changing the subject and refusing a uncontested divorce or divorce of any kind I have now filed a contested divorce.

She doesn’t know yet and gets served next week. She thinks I dropped it and is being the absolute perfect wife and questions why I won’t touch or sleep in the same bed as her.

I am freaking out. She has had such a power over me so far and I am afraid I will lose resolve when she is served and manipulates me and throws herself at or threatens or guilt trips me somehow. How did any of you make it through this stage?

33 comments posted: Monday, November 25th, 2024