SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

This is painful...and the first year with seeing her new patterns can feel like the unending fuckening. Remember that this is ornamental and not functional...kinda like a Kentucky Derby hat.

A gem from Funnelcakes, mined in the Divorce/Separation forum.

{edited to BOLD the author}

[This message edited by SI Staff at 8:49 PM, Monday, May 9th]

I was able to drive home ok, I’m so sore, and swollen in the face, but my junk has recovered 😀 Told my W, heart and lungs, meh. But when the junk isn’t right "Call 911!!!’"🤣

From Tanner in the Off Topic Forum...talking about an allergic reaction to a bee sting in his thread titled I Had a Health Scare today.

Dr. Phil said he tried to work with NPD patients, but it was above his pay grade. laugh

From the D forum- once a narc, always a narc.

Thanks leafields!

[This message edited by MIgander at 2:00 PM, Tuesday, June 21st]

I... politely tell them that I don't need their diagnosis, I just need them to tell me the behavior and the events.

... I tell them that some people are, in fact, merely married to common assholes.

Thanks Wiseoldfool! In General about narcs.

If he wants to hoard his secret life like it's a box of treasure instead of a shit filled cesspool, I can't change that, but I can change what I do while he continues to lie.

From Sigyn in JFO.

I've been married for nearly forty and I can tell you that adultery is not a good starting point.

ChamomileTea in LostandStuck's WH says he still has feelings for AP thread

Innocent notions like "100% trust" and "true love" are replaced by the fact that you can never really know anyone's heart but your own - and even that's not assured.

So very true, IMO.

Seeking2Forgivr in https://survivinginfidelity.com/topics/658475/not-feeling-it-after-wh-now-wants-to-reconcile/

[This message edited by SI Staff at 11:53 PM, Wednesday, October 19th]

I too am totally fucking aware that life is short and death awaits us all, and yet somehow I’ve managed not to carpet bomb the most meaningful relationship in my life by sucking my colleague’s dick.

A very apt quote from Grieving in the General Forum !!

Infidelity is a want, never a NEED.

From Oldwounds in the General Forum.

From Catwoman in OT:

Happiness is indeed what you make it. When life gives you lemons, make lemonade and don't forget to throw a little vodka in it.

I'm going to remember this every time I find myself drinking margaritas with my girlfriends.

My bday is coming up and Mexican food, margaritas and chocolate cake are a thing.

Aren't margaritas just limeade with tequila?

Point being - WORDS are CHEAP. Anyone can say words. A PARROT can say words. ACTIONS are where it's at.

From EllieKMAS in general, proving yet again why she's one of my favourite posters.

From emergent8 in General under What made you the villain?

Ah yes, blowjobs in the bushes, the lesser known SIXTH love language.

[This message edited by leafields at 7:42 PM, Wednesday, January 25th]

"You can't help who you fall in love with" ... - you sure as Hell can help what you do about it.

Pithy words of wisdom from Chaos.

I cannot imagine having healed without the sense of righteousness. Righteousness powered me through a lot of difficult times.

emergent8, on why she rejected the idea of a revenge affair

Part of recovery, if not MOST of recovery, is about rebuilding our own self-reliance. It's not enough that the WS learns to self-validate. We have to learn it too. The goal has to be two healthy people choosing to be together, rather than two needy people choosing not to be apart, right?

ChamomileTea, on the BS's need for emotional self-reliance.

It's kind of like a roller coaster ride. It is designed to look dangerous and give you lots of thrills, but you're really not going to get hurt.

Beachwalker's excellent summary of the deluded mindset of an affair.

It took a while to see that my lies were cruelty disguised as kindness, while honesty was kindness that felt like cruelty.

BraveSirRobin describing the struggle of the WS to understand the need for complete honesty post-A. (From BS questions for WS)

Children have impulse control issues. Grown moral people honor their agreements.

Shehawk in the Blame Game/Unmet needs/Always Capable thread in JFO.

Lastly, to be perfectly blunt, your WW saying the electronic transparency was reminding her of being raped as a teen is in the top 10 biggest crocks of horseshit I’ve read on this site… and competition is tight.

BluerThanBlue in response to what she refers to in the quote.

Sorry for the situation, but I shot milk through my nose when I read this!

[This message edited by WhatsRight at 2:45 PM, Saturday, May 27th]

Healthy relationships DO involve the word No. They do not involve the word "nurture" unless you are talking about raising a child.

Very apt quote by OwningItNow in the Made a deal...sort of thread in Reconciliation.