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The Book Club :
Still Alice

Topic is Sleeping.
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 asurvivor (original poster member #32368) posted at 9:59 PM on Monday, April 27th, 2015

John Black, 42 West 42nd Street, Brighton

Good read, but if you can't remember the above in oh... let's say 10 minutes, you may want to pass.

I've wiped the shit off. It can be wiped off you know.


posts: 642   ·   registered: Jun. 3rd, 2011
id 7202231
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rachelc ( member #30314) posted at 11:31 PM on Monday, April 27th, 2015

liked it - but damn, depressing... I'm about her age.

posts: 7613   ·   registered: Dec. 6th, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 7202332
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metamorphisis ( member #12041) posted at 1:40 AM on Tuesday, April 28th, 2015

I read that book at Christmas one year. Bawled like a baby. It's absolutely haunting.

Go softly my sweet friend. You will always be a part of who I am.

posts: 52157   ·   registered: Sep. 14th, 2006
id 7202451
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Skye ( member #325) posted at 3:33 PM on Monday, May 4th, 2015

meta, don't see the movie. It is sadder to watch than it was to read!

posts: 5662   ·   registered: Jul. 21st, 2002
id 7208959
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Anik1989 ( member #44228) posted at 4:03 PM on Monday, May 4th, 2015

Such a sad book. Very well written, eye opening.

Me: 26 WH: 26 Married for 3 years, together for 6.
OEA for 3 months with some sexual video messages
DDay - 14 June 2014
NC - 6 July 2014 (was away in Europe, so couldn't stop online conversations)
TT - 21 July 2014
Currently in R.

posts: 568   ·   registered: Jul. 24th, 2014   ·   location: Ontario, Canada
id 7209000
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authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 11:04 PM on Saturday, May 30th, 2015

Watched the movie last week and am about 1/3 through the book, which I'm enjoying more than the movie.

Scares me because I forget so much and I'll be 50 this year so of course I keep comparing my forgetfulness to the symptoms that she was having that prompted her to go to the doctor.

Scary stuff, terrible disease.

DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.

posts: 55165   ·   registered: Sep. 2nd, 2007
id 7237131
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rachelc ( member #30314) posted at 1:29 AM on Sunday, May 31st, 2015

Watched movie last night. Didn't feel it represented slow decline, especially in academia. Wanted to slug Alec Baldwin character. what is it with ppl using work as escape from life?

posts: 7613   ·   registered: Dec. 6th, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 7237231
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Skye ( member #325) posted at 1:53 PM on Monday, June 1st, 2015

I thought Alec Baldwin portrayed the husband spectacularly. Better his work than another woman. Very few people have a clue on how to deal with illness.

As far as the decline, it seemed to me her type of Alzheimers was a fast deteriorating type. Some go on for years and others go quickly. I have friends dealing with both types right now. Also, what the book didn't focus on was how long she had been deteriorating. We look back now on one of my friends and realize little things we thought "all" of us did were the beginnings ten years before she was diagnosed.

posts: 5662   ·   registered: Jul. 21st, 2002
id 7238318
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authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 7:49 PM on Monday, June 1st, 2015

I loved the book so much. It had me choked up throughout. The only scene that did that to me in the movie was when she couldn't find the bathroom in her house.

I loved how the book really got us inside her head, which obviously, a movie can't do as well as a book.

DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.

posts: 55165   ·   registered: Sep. 2nd, 2007
id 7238749
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rachelc ( member #30314) posted at 10:26 PM on Monday, June 1st, 2015

Better his work than another woman. Very few people have a clue on how to deal with illness.

oh I think people can have affairs with their jobs..

At any rate - it made for a good discussion for hubby and I and what we would do in that situation.

posts: 7613   ·   registered: Dec. 6th, 2010   ·   location: Midwest
id 7238963
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Afraid2LoveAgain ( member #11185) posted at 10:23 AM on Friday, June 26th, 2015

I finished it last night. Chilling.

I immediately sent an email to my lifelong friend telling her it freaked me out--to read at her own risk. My DH asked me not to talk to him about it anymore--he worries a lot about his own memory--and the fact that he also is a college professor must have hit a little too close.

When she wrote her suicide readiness test and the instructions on how to complete the suicide I wondered if she would have enough cognitive function to succeed. How sad to want out of your life but not have the capability to do so.

I think the worst part of it would be losing the memory of your children. Spouses, meh. But to not know your child... Or to know that their genetics will serve them the same fate.

John Black, 42 West 42nd Street, Brighton

[This message edited by Afraid2LoveAgain at 4:24 AM, June 26th (Friday)]

BW -- 58
Divorced 2001
Re-married 2014--on what would have been our 35th anniversary

posts: 508   ·   registered: Jul. 4th, 2006   ·   location: NC
id 7265479
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latebloomer45 ( member #18021) posted at 2:48 PM on Friday, June 26th, 2015

i know "regular" Alzheimer's MAY have a genetic component but it still being studied. Is it true that some Alzheimer's has a genetic component that PROVES you will get it, or was that just dramatic license? I know for a fact that the genetic marker my family carries does NOT prove you will get it. They have seen people without the marker be very bad with Alzheimer's, and people with a double marker be just fine at age 90+...

just curious.

Me: BS 56
Him: FWS 58
Married 32 years
Son-26 Daughter (Who Came out as trans, so now Son)-23,
D-Day #1 12/11/2007
D-Day #2 5/23/2008 fucking trickle truth!
Whatever Threnody said, I concur.

posts: 4697   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2008   ·   location: Midwest
id 7265626
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Creatingpeace ( member #46377) posted at 4:19 AM on Saturday, June 27th, 2015

The only book which has captivated me for a long time. Amazing and haunting! Still resonates with me months later!

posts: 120   ·   registered: Jan. 16th, 2015   ·   location: Canada
id 7266425
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shakentocore ( member #46124) posted at 1:09 PM on Friday, July 3rd, 2015

Better his work than another woman. Very few people have a clue on how to deal with illness.

oh I think people can have affairs with their jobs..

The one thing my IC told me that gave me something to think about is how there can be "thirds" in a marriage. A third is not always an AP. it can be work, the kids, the gym, friends....

When my IC suggested that my kids were my thirds, I cut her loose.

DDay - Christmas 2014. Working on R.

posts: 3711   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2014
id 7272182
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shakentocore ( member #46124) posted at 1:11 PM on Friday, July 3rd, 2015

How sad to want out of your life but not have the capability to do so.

But when she was farther out, she DIDN'T want out. The OLD her had wanted out if she got that bad, but the more declined Alice didn't want to kill herself. She was following instructions without knowing what it was for.

DDay - Christmas 2014. Working on R.

posts: 3711   ·   registered: Dec. 29th, 2014
id 7272186
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authenticnow ( member #16024) posted at 1:12 PM on Friday, July 3rd, 2015

I just started reading Inside the O'Briens. It's Lisa Genova's other book.

So far so good.

DS, you are forever in my heart. Thank you for sharing your beautiful spirit with me. I will always try to live by the example you have set. I love you and miss you every day and am sorry you had to go so soon, it just doesn't seem fair.

posts: 55165   ·   registered: Sep. 2nd, 2007
id 7272187
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wildbananas ( member #10552) posted at 3:49 PM on Friday, July 3rd, 2015

"Left Neglected" was good, too.

My mother has dementia. The book made me sad. The movie made me bawl.

Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

posts: 16592   ·   registered: May. 1st, 2006   ·   location: Somewhere
id 7272311
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luv2swim ( member #13154) posted at 9:42 AM on Monday, August 10th, 2015

Married, or divorced, when we hit the point of being exceedingly vulnerable, if there is no one there to catch us ... no one to "have our back", the prospects of end-of-life are not welcoming to consider. Especially when the social and medical safety net of a nation is lacking. Or, in the case of the USA, absent.

Me: BS
Him: WS
Married 24 years -
2 fantastic kids!

divorced 2009


D day: 2006 ... he left to live with OW.
Divorced: 2009
WS + OW: Married and still together (as far as I know).

posts: 407   ·   registered: Jan. 4th, 2007   ·   location: US
id 7309637
Topic is Sleeping.
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