Topic is Sleeping.
Sammexi (original poster member #48582) posted at 1:26 AM on Wednesday, November 18th, 2015
"After the Affair" by Janis Abrahms Spring, Ph.D.,ABPP. The completely updated second edition has a chapter about OA's. This is a great book for both BS and WS. My husband and I read it together. Well, he listened to the audio version because he hates to read.
"Ten Lessons to Transform Your Marriage" by John M. Gottman, Ph.D., Julie Schwartz Gottman, Ph.D., and Joan DeClaire
"The Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work" by John Gottman, Ph.D., and Nancy Silver
Me:BW (42) Him:WH (42) 3 DS 25,20,19
Married 19 years, 6 months
Together 19 years, 9 months
D-day: 7-12-15 (OEA)
TT: 11-22-15 (also had phone sex)
Attempting R
When love and trust are gone
I guess this is moving on
Gnash
Hawke ( member #47517) posted at 10:17 PM on Wednesday, November 18th, 2015
I liked "After the Affair", but it gets mixed reviews here, as some people see her as being neutral or condoning affairs. She also wrote a book about forgiveness that I liked even better, as it's a tricky thing to figure out whether you are reconciling or separating/divorcing.
I really like John Gottman's stuff. His book "What Makes Love Last" is specifically about betrayal and how to prevent or overcome it. Sadly, my STBX wasn't willing to do the work outlined in the book, but it seemed like good stuff.
Me: BS (b. '75)
Him: exWS (b. '76)
D-Day: April 2015
Together 10 years
2 kids: 2011 and 2014
Separated (no divorce required for common law couple in my jurisdiction)
Sammexi (original poster member #48582) posted at 5:05 AM on Thursday, November 19th, 2015
Thanks Hawke. I'm going to check out the others you mentioned. Sorry your STBX didn't want to do the work. Sadly, I'm beginning to see that mine doesn't seem too interested in doing it either. I figure if I read all these books and we don't stay together, at least some of the things I learn from them might help me in a future relationship.
Me:BW (42) Him:WH (42) 3 DS 25,20,19
Married 19 years, 6 months
Together 19 years, 9 months
D-day: 7-12-15 (OEA)
TT: 11-22-15 (also had phone sex)
Attempting R
When love and trust are gone
I guess this is moving on
Gnash
Topic is Sleeping.
