Topic is Sleeping.
PP2017 (original poster new member #58484) posted at 2:07 PM on Saturday, May 20th, 2017
I am a WS. My Dday was over a year ago. My husband and I are working on R but of course it's not easy and we still have a long road to travel.
My question is this. We read Not Just friends, which we both thought was good. Now that some time has passed I find that some of our old relationship issues are coming to the surface. Our "pre-affair" issues. Is there a good book out there to deal with relationship issues? I mean, I know there are, but I don't know if I should be looking for a post affair type book or just relationship issues type book? Like I said, we read Not Just Friends so I hesitate to purchase another book like that.
Hope that makes sense. Any suggestions?
Notthevictem ( member #44389) posted at 5:30 PM on Saturday, May 20th, 2017
BH
DDAY Mar 2014
Widowed 2022 - breast cancer
Notthevictem ( member #44389) posted at 4:08 AM on Sunday, May 21st, 2017
Sorry, I wasn't putting that book out there like the be all end all, because it isn't. There are just way too many things that could answer your question and that was the first that popped in my head. There's also supposed to be a good one about dealing with shame, and another one for guilt, but I can't remember what they're called.
BH
DDAY Mar 2014
Widowed 2022 - breast cancer
sunwillshine ( member #47200) posted at 5:08 AM on Monday, May 22nd, 2017
Just finished 5 Love Languages. Wow, did things really make more sense after figuring out our primary languages. My fwh and I listened to it together on audio. He and I both had previous marriages and found ourselves able to see not only some of our difficulty, but able to see why the previous marriages were so screwed up. I'd highly recommend it.
D-day 2/12/15
5 DD (3 his, 2 mine) all grown
married 9/97 together 8/94.
Moved back in 5/30/16 working on R
onlytime ( member #45817) posted at 2:28 PM on Thursday, June 1st, 2017
Any books by John Gottman (How to Make Love Last, Seven Principles for Making Marriage Work, 10 Lessons to Transform Your Marriage) or Sue Johnson (Hold Me Tight, Love Sense), and definitely The Emotionally-Focused Workbook for Couples by Fitzgerald and Kallos-Lilly.
R'd w/ BetterFuture13
T 20+ yrs w/ adult kids 😇 + grands
"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall" ~Nelson Mandela
iamthewife ( new member #53038) posted at 6:15 PM on Friday, June 2nd, 2017
I can also suggest your local library as a source for books instead of purchasing them. I don't live in a large community, but my public library had surprisingly many print books, ebooks, and audiobooks on relationships that I was able to explore for free.
CharliB ( member #59007) posted at 12:24 AM on Saturday, June 3rd, 2017
The Emotionally Destructive Marriage by Leslie Vernick. Really helped me. A lot!
The truth doesn't cost you anything but a lie could cost you everything
Lonelygirl10 ( member #39850) posted at 12:05 AM on Monday, July 24th, 2017
I also think that the 5 Love Languages is a really good one to read. It's less about affairs, and more about relationships.
Topic is Sleeping.
