Topic is Sleeping.
GrowthMindset (original poster member #61918) posted at 8:43 AM on Sunday, December 31st, 2017
I had this on my audible... the author lists 17 different types of affairs. She points out that there are often more than one that fit for any WS. I think I could identify about 7 of the types of affairs as matching.
Curious if others have read this book (or listened to it as I am doing haha!) and found it helpful, especially FWS. There's some things she mentions in her narrative that would be beneficial to WH. Did you feel like it was useful?
Me: Choosing happiness
Together 22 years
3 children
DDAY 1 9/24/17 PA 14 months - ongoing
DDay 2 12/28/17 EA/PA trickle truth 2x (Aug 2016) w mutual family friend. I was the only one in dark.
"We move forward by creating a life we love"
sewardak ( member #50617) posted at 4:44 PM on Friday, January 5th, 2018
"There's some things she mentions in her narrative that would be beneficial to WH."
not your job to lead him to it. keep working on you.
GrowthMindset (original poster member #61918) posted at 7:25 AM on Sunday, January 7th, 2018
Yes, I'm thinking about it now and the use of this book is unproductive.
Good point SEWARDAK!
Me: Choosing happiness
Together 22 years
3 children
DDAY 1 9/24/17 PA 14 months - ongoing
DDay 2 12/28/17 EA/PA trickle truth 2x (Aug 2016) w mutual family friend. I was the only one in dark.
"We move forward by creating a life we love"
Tortured ( member #52141) posted at 8:13 PM on Wednesday, January 24th, 2018
I can't remember if it was this exact book or another similar one but my ex and read something like this and then he linked himself into parts of it to make him feel like he was a good person and had just made a 'few' mistakes.
Yes even I believe there can be a type of affairs were someone slipped into it and it's against who they are as a person and when they come out of the fog they themselves are horrified.
But my ex was a serial cheater and pathological liar, so it was very determental to any recovery/restitution when he believed he wasn't that bad a person. Everybody lies right??? Errr no
I would proceed with caution depending on your situation.
TorturedMe: BSHim: WH (serial)Three kidsDD: Nov 2015 (and so much trickle truth that I would be listing a month a DDays)Sep: Dec 2016
sudra ( member #30143) posted at 1:29 PM on Thursday, February 1st, 2018
I'm pretty sure I would not read that book based on the title alone.
Me (BW) (5\64), Him(SAWH) (68)Married 31 years, 1 son (28), 1 stepdaughter (36) DDay #1 January 2004DDay #2 7-27-2010 7 month EA/PA (became "engaged" to OW before he told me he wanted a divorce)Working on R
Icewraithonyx ( member #48892) posted at 2:39 PM on Wednesday, March 14th, 2018
Not as useful as I'd hoped.
I got this and suggested WW read it. My hope was she'd read this (because the title was less offensive, baby steps, and then move onto other resources.) The book IIRC is in two parts: the first part explains how Good People can make bad choices and end up in affairs. The 2nd part explains how the cheaters can repair the damage. Sadly, WW read the first part and used it to help minimize her "mistake". She has yet to read the 2nd part.
steadychevy ( member #42608) posted at 11:48 PM on Saturday, March 17th, 2018
Do good people commit adultery? What's the definition of "good"? I think a cheater can become a good person but somethings not working right before and during. JMO. Haven't read it. Won't.
BH(me)72(now); XWW 64; M 42 yrsDDay1-01/09/13;DDay2-26/10/13;DDay3-19/12/13;DDay4-21/01/14LTA-09/02-06/06? OM - COW 4 years; "dates" w/3 lovers post engagement;ONS w/stranger post commitment, lies, lies, liesSeparated 23/09/2017; D 16/03/2020
Cephastion ( member #51990) posted at 10:02 PM on Monday, March 19th, 2018
When Good People Hate Affairs, maybe...I think that's more like it.
Alternatively, what kind of critical acclaim or reception would it get if it was "When Good People Become Serial Killers"
or "When good people become rapists or molesters".
Or Domestic Abusers...??
How about, "when good people become armed robbers...
or scam artists...
or suicide bombers...
or double-spies...
or saboteurs...
or biological weapons designers (STD's, etc.)...?? 
I might actually read one of THOSE titles because I'd be curious enough at the mere AUDACITY of the title to think that it might just be a shock-bait leader to get people riled up enough to share the TRUTH about such madness (or some other seemingly unrelated one, perhaps).
[This message edited by Cephastion at 4:05 PM, March 19th (Monday)]
BH-me / WW-(Pyrite)
Left Thanksgiving 2019 w/ unresolved childhood trauma and other general selfishness issues that she refuses to honestly address, resolve,& heal from.--"For where your wealth/treasure is, there will your heart be also."--Yeshua
Lazarus ( member #62342) posted at 12:39 AM on Thursday, March 22nd, 2018
I'm pretty sure I would not read that book based on the title alone.
Seriously. Prior to this I think I was blind to how... almost permissive society is of adultery. I think stuff like this furthers that narrative.
Topic is Sleeping.
