Topic is Sleeping.
bluetears (original poster member #67717) posted at 1:50 AM on Friday, November 16th, 2018
I'm new here and looking for a book that my WH can read to give him an idea of what I'm going through and what NOT to say. Also, I saw a post that mentioned "The McDonald Book" but I can't find the book or the post now. Any suggestions would be great.
I lost the Happy me but I WILL find her again!
ME: BW 56yo
HE: H 52yo
MARRIED: 19 years, together 27 (2nd marriage for both)
D-Day: August 15, 2018
(Porn user every day, Massage Parlors and Prostitutes for at least the last 5 Years)
onlytime ( member #45817) posted at 1:58 AM on Friday, November 16th, 2018
The book you are looking for is called "How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair: A Compact Manual for the Unfaithful" by Linda J. MacDonald.
R'd w/ BetterFuture13
T 20+ yrs w/ adult kids 😇 + grands
"The greatest glory in living lies not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall" ~Nelson Mandela
FEEL ( member #57673) posted at 5:13 PM on Friday, November 16th, 2018
Who's idea is it for reading the book?
The truth is the truth even if you are the only one who believes it. A lie is a lie, regardless of how many people believe it.
Forgiveness - giving up the hope that things could have been any different in the past.
sewardak ( member #50617) posted at 5:17 PM on Friday, November 16th, 2018
bluetears - resist the urge to do any of the work for him, including finding reading material.
bluetears (original poster member #67717) posted at 6:39 PM on Friday, November 16th, 2018
It's my idea. And, you're right, I've decided to let him do his own work. Thank you for the advice.
I lost the Happy me but I WILL find her again!
ME: BW 56yo
HE: H 52yo
MARRIED: 19 years, together 27 (2nd marriage for both)
D-Day: August 15, 2018
(Porn user every day, Massage Parlors and Prostitutes for at least the last 5 Years)
FEEL ( member #57673) posted at 6:56 PM on Friday, November 16th, 2018
That was the reason I asked... good move. For the actions to be useful and meaningful, they need to come from him, not you.
The truth is the truth even if you are the only one who believes it. A lie is a lie, regardless of how many people believe it.
Forgiveness - giving up the hope that things could have been any different in the past.
bluetears (original poster member #67717) posted at 11:39 PM on Monday, November 19th, 2018
I lost the Happy me but I WILL find her again!
ME: BW 56yo
HE: H 52yo
MARRIED: 19 years, together 27 (2nd marriage for both)
D-Day: August 15, 2018
(Porn user every day, Massage Parlors and Prostitutes for at least the last 5 Years)
marji ( member #49356) posted at 11:26 PM on Tuesday, November 20th, 2018
BluetearsThere is a free on line podcast that many of us found very helpful and thought our H's might learn from listening to.
It's Part I and Part II of Marnice Bleeecker. She is a therapist who works with a lot of trauma clients whose H's are SAs but what she had to say pertains to non-SA situations. I think Im not allowed to give a link but she could be Googled with Marnie Bleecker SA, trauma, or something like that. I think you might find it worthwhile.
bluetears (original poster member #67717) posted at 3:00 AM on Wednesday, November 21st, 2018
I lost the Happy me but I WILL find her again!
ME: BW 56yo
HE: H 52yo
MARRIED: 19 years, together 27 (2nd marriage for both)
D-Day: August 15, 2018
(Porn user every day, Massage Parlors and Prostitutes for at least the last 5 Years)
marji ( member #49356) posted at 4:02 AM on Wednesday, November 21st, 2018
You're welcome. Hope you find it helpful.
Topic is Sleeping.
