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Reconciliation :
Thankful Thursday

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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:29 PM on Thursday, November 11th, 2021

It's been a while since I

ve looked at this thread.

I'm thankful to guitargod for sharing his positive news. That post greeted me when I open this thread, and it just about made my day.

I'm grateful that my health allows me to ride my bike and ... **TMI** smile .

I'm grateful for the food we can put on our table and for the things that we can buy.

I'm grateful for (most of) my upbringing. (Now is right between the time I lost my mom and dad (last year in November and 25 years ago in October), so I'm thinking about them and their innumerable influences on me.) I'm grateful to them especially because they opened me up to seeing life as an adventure, which I still do.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 4:30 PM, Thursday, November 11th]

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30475   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8697982
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Notaboringwife ( member #74302) posted at 5:09 PM on Thursday, November 11th, 2021

I am grateful to have found a new friend during our crisis time as BS'S. Our choices diverged, she divorced, I reconciled. We support one another, and laugh at our life foibles together.

And we had a great supper together last night, just the two of us.

fBW. My scarred heart has an old soul.

posts: 413   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2020
id 8697985
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Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 5:32 PM on Thursday, November 11th, 2021

Wow W2BHA. I love smile story. My W has these beautiful eyes that I’ve always been crazy about. During her A’s the eyes were evil, gone, no feeling at all. After Dday 2 she told everything in her timeline and I believed her, my gut was good, those eyes were back. I was still extremely pissed at her, but the eyes told me everything. This is the first time admitting that here. Can you imagine going back to your JFO thread and saying “I believe her eyes”. No way not me

My Son is showing great progress after surgery. Improved behavior, eating better, and really trying to verbalize more.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3606   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8697988
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This0is0Fine ( member #72277) posted at 8:53 PM on Thursday, November 11th, 2021

Finally got the vehicle title for the car I inherited from my father (COVID can really delay some types of paperwork!) along with a season pass to the closest mountain for the winter. Will be nice after skipping a season to recover from knee surgery. :)

Love is not a measure of capacity for pain you are willing to endure for your partner.

posts: 2817   ·   registered: Dec. 11th, 2019
id 8698001
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 2:22 PM on Thursday, November 18th, 2021

Because of some family issues...it isn't a particularly feel good time in the W2BHA household. But since there is ALWAYS something to be thankful for...I want to Thank God for giving me the strength to be able to do what is best for our loved one...even though my heart is breaking at the same time. I can't imagine the pain they are going through...but I hope I can bring them a little comfort during this very trying time.

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6668   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8699047
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Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 4:21 PM on Thursday, November 18th, 2021

I’m thankful for some growth in my grown Daughter. She is mid 20’s and life and stress was eating her up. She had become bitter and angry and took it out on everyone but especially my W. In August she got Covid and was hospitalized for 13 days, her healing took a lot longer at her home with home health coming and having to carry oxygen around. My W was there for her the whole time. She is just about fully healed and her near death experience has changed her, for the better. My W and her have a great relationship and spend a lot of time together, going to lunch and shopping. It’s an answered prayer.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3606   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8699071
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Notaboringwife ( member #74302) posted at 6:09 PM on Thursday, November 18th, 2021

I am grateful to my husband, as after three years he answered my written questions about a specific affair event that was triggering me. He filled in the missing blanks. We also talked, he came clean. He did this without rolling his eyes, or telling me to get over it as he had that very first year of our R even into the second year. We both are changing our views about one another, in positive way. Yea!

fBW. My scarred heart has an old soul.

posts: 413   ·   registered: Apr. 24th, 2020
id 8699095
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Underserving ( member #72259) posted at 10:14 PM on Thursday, November 18th, 2021

I am thankful for my children and my family. I’m thankful their daddy and I have found a way to work out our shit, even when it has been hard. I started subbing a few weeks ago, and there are so many kids with a troubled home life who have behavioral issues. Not knocking anyone in a single parent household, but today I am thankful that hasn’t been my children’s experience.

BW (32)Found out 3 years post end of AD-day 12-9-19In R

Infidelity brings out the cuss in me. I’m not as foul mouthed in real life. ;)

posts: 775   ·   registered: Dec. 9th, 2019
id 8699133
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humantrampoline ( member #61458) posted at 3:47 PM on Friday, November 19th, 2021

I know I'm a day late and probably a dollar short.

I'm grateful that I will finally be visiting my siblings and nephews and my lovely SIL next week after not seeing them since Covid.

I'm grateful for the Wheel of Time release on Prime. I was a huge fan of the Robert Jordan book series in the 1990s.

posts: 613   ·   registered: Nov. 17th, 2017
id 8699290
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WTAF ( member #79274) posted at 4:54 PM on Friday, November 19th, 2021

I'm also a day late, but feeling thankful. We have a grandbaby coming next year, and I am thrilled!

Also, the H has been reading How to Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair and it has sparked some great conversations. We have had some tough discussions, but he sees now that they are necessary. We wish we had heard about this book years ago. It's been eye opening for him, both for our experiences and for looking back at his father's infidelities when he was growing up. I am thankful that we are on a better path, and are pulling up the rug to clean out things that had been swept there.

posts: 121   ·   registered: Aug. 13th, 2021   ·   location: All up in my feelings
id 8699340
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 2:20 PM on Thursday, November 25th, 2021

Ooooooooooo...so many AWESOME posts from last week grin !!! I am so HAPPY that your daughter and your wife are doing so well Coozann Tan smile !!

I already wrote about being thankful in the Thanksgiving thread that ISurvivedSoFar started...which is pretty AWESOME...but there is so MUCH to be thankful for that I can share even more on here grin !!

TODAY...I am thankful that the issue with our loved one last week is getting resolved and it looks like things will be going well smile . When our loved ones hurt...WE hurt. But now that things are looking better...I am feeling MUCH better now!

I am also thankful for the delicious SMELLS coming from the kitchen...C'est Bon!!! We will be eating GOOD today...and it is a BLESSING that we have grocery stores now open and stocked for this special day after hurricane Ida nearly destroyed this sweet town I live in. Thanks to so MANY people giving so generously throughout America...there are houses being rebuilt...clothes being donated...and food brought in from all over to help those of us who lost almost everything. THANK YOU AMERICA!!!

I also want to Thank God in this thread too...because I just can't thank Him enough for ALWAYS being there for me smile . What a MIGHTY God I serve!! He is ALWAYS faithful...and He brings justice. THANK YOU GOD!!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6668   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8700128
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Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 2:58 PM on Thursday, November 25th, 2021

Happy Thanksgiving. Looking forward to spending time with family the next couple of days.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3606   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8700133
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ISurvivedSoFar ( member #56915) posted at 3:03 PM on Thursday, November 25th, 2021

I am so thankful for my family, truth and honesty. I'm thankful for great children. Last night my daughter came home from college and my older daughter is visiting from Seattle. Typically my younger daughter doesn't share. But without prompting she offered to share the bedroom with her older sister during their visit here.

We're progressing and I'm incredibly thankful - it's the little things too that count.

DDay Nov '16
Me: BS, a.k.a. MommaDom, Him: WS
2 DD's: one adult, one teen,1 DS: adult
Surviving means we promise ourselves we will get to the point where we can receive love and give love again.

posts: 2836   ·   registered: Jan. 15th, 2017
id 8700134
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Oldwounds ( member #54486) posted at 3:40 PM on Thursday, November 25th, 2021

We haven’t see our sons much at all since relocating to the PNW. We made a 9 hour drive to our oldest son’s house and flew our youngest son in from yet another state and got the band back together, if only for a couple days.

I’m grateful for my little family!

I’m grateful to this gathering of humans here on SI who helped me understand the trauma I went through and an important part of my recovery,

Thanks to every member here, as our collective, shared experiences helped me find my path through.

Married 36+ years, together 41+ years
Two awesome adult sons.
Dday 6/16 4-year LTA Survived.
M Restored
"It is better to conquer our grief than to deceive it." — Seneca

posts: 4774   ·   registered: Aug. 4th, 2016   ·   location: Home.
id 8700144
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outofsorts ( member #70701) posted at 5:08 PM on Friday, November 26th, 2021

Prior to COVID, FWH and I would always have a big Thanksgiving Potluck. We had up to 30 people which is probably 2-3 times as many as our small house could comfortably fit. But it was always so much fun and a great opportunity to see friends!

Last year, we had a 1 hour zoom call with friends and FWH and I ate alone which was nice and relaxing but not the same. This year it still didn't seem like the time to have a big potluck with so instead we had four friends over for dinner. Still not the same as before, but in some ways better. We got to spend hours with some of our favorite people and everyone made so much food that I think I may have eaten more than with our 30 person potlucks! Plus the cleanup and prep was easier grin

With both COVID and infidelity I may not be exactly where I want to be yet. But things are so much better than they were. I am grateful to be headed in the right direction and optimistic for the future.

Me(BW): 40WH: 40 Married 7 years, together 20.
Dday 2/22/19 Reconciling

posts: 402   ·   registered: Jun. 4th, 2019
id 8700382
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EllieKMAS ( member #68900) posted at 2:25 PM on Thursday, December 2nd, 2021

I passed antiversary of dday1 on Nov 7 - 3 years. It's hard to believe how much my life has improved in that time. This last year I got a new job, I bought a new car, I paid off ALL of my debt (all that I have now is my mortgage and my car payment). Next year I am determined to relocate to different state and start a whole new chapter of my life - new house, new people, getting to know my extended family better in the state I'm moving to. It's gonna be awesome!

I am so thankful that I survived such a horrible time and came out the other side stronger and wiser than when it started. I am thankful that I managed to keep a sense of humor even through the darkest times. And I'm thankful for each day that is peaceful and calm and happy.

"No, it's you mothafucka, here's a list of reasons why." – Iliza Schlesinger

"The love that you lost isn't worth what it cost and in time you'll be glad that it's gone." – Linkin Park

posts: 3920   ·   registered: Nov. 22nd, 2018   ·   location: Louisiana
id 8702100
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 3:28 PM on Thursday, December 2nd, 2021

EllieKMAS ...I LOVE your post...thanks for sharing grin !!

TODAY I am thankful that my H has started getting as enthusiastic about Christmas lights as I have always been smile !! We are making plans to go out and about this weekend just ENJOYING the Christmas lights and the wonderful GIVING atmosphere that this time of year brings!

We will be spending time this weekend in a hotel too grin . For those who remember...hotel rooms were a HUGE trigger for me...until I OWNED it laugh !! So we get to...um...do what we have said we would do when we find ourselves in hotel rooms blush . I would have NEVER thought I could ever look forward to being in a hotel again...but I DO now. It's ALL about perspective grin !!!

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6668   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8702111
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Tanner ( Guide #72235) posted at 11:00 PM on Thursday, December 2nd, 2021

I’m thankful for Thankful Thursday. I went back to page one today to see when it was started 10/1/2020 if you were curious. I found my post on page one and it reminded me of how far my W and I have come. I’m reminded of how difficult this journey can be with many ups and downs. I’m thankful that my W has embraced the idea and every Thursday sends me a thankful Thursday text.

I’m thankful that this is the thread where a met a great friend and Coozan. You have helped my family more than you will know, even though sometimes you take my W’s side, and over uses emojis

Finally I’m thankful for the Dallas Cowboys who are in New Orleans tonight to deliver a butt whipping. Who Dat? It’s the the Dallas Cowboys.

Dday Sept 7 2019 doing well in R BH M 32 years

posts: 3606   ·   registered: Dec. 5th, 2019   ·   location: Texas DFW
id 8702202
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Grieving ( member #79540) posted at 11:21 PM on Thursday, December 2nd, 2021

I’m thankful for a day off tomorrow. I’m a teacher and this is the first time I’ve taken a personal day in 5 years. I have a sub, which I’m super thankful for because they’re in short supply in this Covid world. I got off work, read a book for an hour on my front porch in unseasonably warm weather, and now I’m fixing my kids’ favorite meal. Life has kind of sucked for the last two years, but these small things feel big, and they’re a gift.

Husband had six month affair with co-worker. Found out 7/2020. Married 20 years at that point; two teenaged kids. Reconciling.

posts: 653   ·   registered: Oct. 30th, 2021
id 8702205
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 Want2BHappyAgain (original poster member #45088) posted at 1:35 PM on Friday, December 3rd, 2021

Tanner...I had to go back and look at the 1st page too after seeing your post...WOW! I had no idea it has gone on this long...thanks for that smile . It hurt my heart to see sunwillshine on there though sad . She really was a ray of sunshine...and then she just suddenly disappeared. With this Covid mess going around...it is scary when someone just stops posting like that. I sure HOPE she is doing well...I MISS HER!!

The feeling is mutual Coozann Tan grin !!! Your W is a LOVELY woman smile . I think those "Thankful Thursday" texts she sends sound AWESOME!!! If that is taking sides...I am OK with that tongue laugh .

Overuse emojis look ? I have NO idea what you mean by that shocked !!! I was hoping that MangledHeart would add MORE as he is updating this site blink !!!

Finally I’m thankful for the Dallas Cowboys who are in New Orleans tonight to deliver a butt whipping. Who Dat? It’s the the Dallas Cowboys.

It looks like the Cowboys did whip up on the Saints. C'est la vie. There is always NEXT time wink !!

Grieving...I am so HAPPY to see you posting in this thread grin . The little things DO add up Dear Lady...and they give us a bit of a reprieve from this infidelity HELL we were put in through no fault of our own (((HUGS))). I hope you have a WONDERFUL day off...and ENJOY even more of those little things smile .

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6668   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8702302
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