SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

We were so close.

All set with the antibiotics I need to give him at home.

All issues mostly resolved.

Then…potassium levels too high. So giving him glucose and insulin which evidently lowers potassium levels, but it washes it out through the intestines.

So, that’s been fun. 😒

I’m feeling hopeful about tomorrow. 🤞🏽

[This message edited by WhatsRight at 10:20 AM, Sunday, July 24th]

Pretty sure y’all aren’t going to believe this, but…

I’m finally settling down in the hospital CHAIR to get some sleep…2:00 am.

My phone rings and it’s my son. Crying. "Mom, I’ve broken my foot. I’m going to the ER."

On the bright side, I didn’t have to go far!!!

🤣

I absolutely believe it because that’s how my life is.

Praying for your strength. And peace.

Oh WR... hoping you all get a break soon. And you too, HFSSC!

So…it looks like we are in the process of getting out of here.

Potassium level is good. Dr has put in orders, discharge person has been by, and is coordinating the medication getting to our house this afternoon, and home health is set up for tomorrow for blood draw.

H is dressed, and I have packed my stuff, and gotten everything ready with the exception of mopping the floor! 🙂

They just came in and said that we had set up with home health for him to receive Europenem anabiotic given once a day. The alternative would be meropenem three times a day. We had evidently signed up for Europenem, but they came in and told us that if that was our decision, they would have to give that to my husband at least once before we left here so that we could be sure he did not have any reactions.

Since he has already been on Mirapinum for days and days, we are just going to do meropenem at home three times a day. I think they were trying to make it more convenient at one time per day, but I would rather keep him what he has already been on.

We made it home! Thank heavens!

I have just now finished the first infusion of antibiotics in my H’s PICC line. I’m not going to lie…It was harrowing. 😟

I even called the "helpline" of the company that had the medicine delivered to my house. But they never returned my call. I think I eventually did it all correctly. Home health is supposed to come out tomorrow to draw some blood for lab work, and I will ask that nurse to be sure I’m doing it correctly.

I think I have found a possible employment situation… The nurse who showed me how to do this procedure in the hospital, I’m sure is a very good nurse. But she’s not the greatest teacher. Maybe they could hire me to do that teaching. 😁

I just want to thank all of you so much for walking me through these last few weeks. Your contribution with information regarding all of this stuff, your support, as well as just knowing that I could pick up my phone in a second and reach out… It just means so much.

I know that leaving the hospital today it was not the END of our struggles, more like the beginning of even harder times.

But, it is a comfort to know that you all are out there and I can reach out to you when I need to.

Thank you. 😘

I am so glad you are home and get to sleep in a real bed - your own bed!!

Good luck to your H and to you.

Yippee!!!! Glad you are home.

I'm willing to bet you did just fine w/ the antibiotics. The most important piece of this whole thing is making sure you flush the lines the way they told you to so they remain functional and you don't have to go in for placement of a new one.

Additionally the HHC RN will be a much better teacher, and if you learn by doing, ask to do it, and have her video tape it so you have record of it if you become exhausted, confused, or if the kids have to help at some point.

The thing is, he spends 90-95% of his time at home in the bed, so would that be different from being in the bed at the hospital?

My late father went through this - the issue was hospital-acquired MRSA pneumonia. If his issues worsen, in addition to the x-ray, I would request a sputum culture.

Wow!

"Hospital acquired MRSA"

As if the rest of the hospital experience wasn’t hard enough!

Wow!

"Hospital acquired MRSA"

As if the rest of the hospital experience wasn’t hard enough!

Yeah. That was a very difficult time over a period of 4 years.

Hey WR, I've been traveling a lot in the last 7 weeks and not able to get online much but when I do, I always check here to see how things are going for you and Dragon.

I so admire all that you're doing and your ability to speak about it so clearly. I have no doubt that your efforts have given your H a much higher quality of life than he'd have had without you and definitely more quantity than he likely would have had otherwise.

And I'm so glad you're getting to see your parenting efforts blossom in your sons. I had no doubt they'd be fine in the end but am so glad you're getting to see that now, just when you need it most. And I'm so glad your H is getting to see it as well.

Anyway, I wouldn't say all this but you wrote how much you appreciate being able to speak openly here and get so much feedback and help. I can't help in any way with advice but I am certainly happy to extend the hand of friendship and encouragement, both of which you've earned in so many ways during your time on S.I.

Thinking of you and pulling for you and your whole family.

Whatsright, how is it going since you got home? I hope you have been able to get some rest too.

How is your son's foot? Did he break it?

Hang in there!

josiep…thank you so very much for your sweet post. I so appreciate your support and kindness.

We were told from the time our kids were five and six years old that they would have difficulty due to their birth mothers addictions during pregnancy. We were told that there would be some things that they might never be able to achieve, but for the most part, they would just be delayed. That the brain works in spurts and that children go through a maturing growth, and then it levels off, rinse and repeat. So, he said that our kids could possibly come close to catching up with their peers while they were leveling off, but then while my kids were leveling off, the peers would be on the next growth/maturity spurt.

He, the neuropsychologist, also told us that the prefrontal cortex, where judgment maturity etc. existed, did not fully developed until about 25 years old. He told us that our kids would take longer than that because of their deficiencies.

So now my kids are almost 30, 27, and 26. And I do believe that they are getting there. Even my son who is incarcerated, the baby, is exhibiting signs of maturity that I would’ve never imagined.

Regarding my husband, I have to honestly say that in light of his poor choices, I have, through the years, been verbally demanding and even insulting when I couldn’t get what I wanted from him. And then in later years, a withdrawing from him. No desire to debate HERE whether or not he deserved it.

This last group of visits to the hospital, I believe scared both of us. Our communication with each other has changed to a very amiable kind of communication. No snarkiness, no rolling my eyes, that kind of stuff. I’m not trying to cut him a break, but I actually believe that my interactions with him have caused a lot of the withdrawal.

At any rate, there is a lighter mood in the house now. There is a sense of some thing more laid back and even pleasant. He absolutely needs that. He has spent a great deal of time on the receiving end of my responses to that which we shall not mention. It’s time to focus on our kids, friends, and reduced stress. And whatever time we can "buy" for him.

Anyway, your support (and everyones) is greatly appreciated!!! ❤️

[This message edited by WhatsRight at 10:33 PM, Tuesday, July 26th]

Jeanie…

Since we have been home, things have actually been pretty good. As I stated previously, the communication and relationship between my husband and I has shifted from negative to positive. I temper my tone of voice and try not to let things about his health openly upset me, because that has always made him shut down.

He’s gotten up every day that we have been home, for at least three or four hours. Last night we had supper all together, and my sister, and my husband‘s nephew and his wife also came over. He’s very close to his nephew, especially since his brother’s death, and was very happy to see them. He is staying in bed in the mornings, then getting up in early afternoon and staying up past dinner time. We’re hopeful that this will grow, In the amount of time that he stays up each day. But even if it does not grow, four or five hours a day of time spent with family and friends will be a big plus.

I will be happy when this antibiotic is all done and he gets that PICC line out.

All in all, I’m just so grateful that he made it home. This last visit was quite scary. I’ve made some changes that may or may not make any difference, but I am a person that just has to keep busy making efforts. Sometimes driving my family crazy while I do it! But I have added a paper towel dispenser on the wall of my bathroom, A bracket to hold the box of gloves that I use, and a touchless liquid soap dispenser. I’m hoping that will contribute to me being as clean as possible.

I think that in light of his very poor health right now, I have made some sort of consolation/peace with the fact that he and I will never have the relationship that I/we would want. But with both of us trying, we can have some peace and even enjoyment I hope.

🙏

I'm happy to hear that things are going better for you now that you are home.

Please keep in mind caregiver fatigue is a very real thing, and if you find your patience wearing thin that you need to take a few minutes for yourself, or a few hours and allow one of the boys to care for a bit.

If your H doesn't have you, he is left without help, so please make sure you are making your a priority.

That is so exactly true, tush.

I guess in the past when my fatigue really set in, after night after night with no sleep, resentments would get high and I would strike out.

While I am giving him these antibiotics through his pick line, I have 14 alarms on my phone. 😳. Some of the alarms are things as simple as getting the anabiotic out of the refrigerator so it will be room temperature in two hours. But it is something that must be done nonetheless.I have set the schedule for each day up so that at night I have an uninterrupted 5-6 hour block for sleeping. And that is only for two or three more days, until the antibiotics are finished. Then much less scheduled to do.

As I have said, we are getting along better. I think he is having some fear/sadness/realization about his situation setting in. Yesterday he seemed pretty "down" all day long. I don’t know if he was actually just tired as he told me, or if he is beginning to get the big picture.

Unless I’m talking to my friend or to you all about how scared I am or something of that nature, I always speak about his situation in front of him with no secrets. I word things optimistically, but I do not present myself as being in denial to him.

I think my renewed/positive relationship with my kids is helping me get through the scary part of this for now. We are having dinner every night together, where as usually they have wanted to fend for themselves. My sister is coming over more I think just to give me company.

And with a brighter outlook regarding my children, and a more positive relationship with my husband, I think that does more for my "caregiver fatigue" than anything else could do.

But I get your drift. I am being careful to just watch TV, or play with my dogs more, etc.…to reboot.

So excited… just found out that after this afternoon and tonight‘s infusions, we will be finished with that strong anabiotic!The nurse will come tomorrow to remove the pick line.

Then, we are supposed to get his hospital paperwork and the results of the HIDA scan sent to the surgeon so that he can schedule a laparoscopic gallbladder removal.

I guess they couldn’t do that in the hospital, because they would’ve had to pay for it and wait for the insurance to reimburse. Anyway, If it could possibly cause trouble in the future, I say jerk the thing out!

[This message edited by WhatsRight at 7:57 PM, Friday, July 29th]

Also, full disclosure, we have been doing a very good job of me having no "Snark", and him not ignoring me. Things have been pleasant and almost cordial.

Until today. Just now.

My son who broke his foot last week, then dropped the fire log on it two days later, has now at work again dropped a big heavy 80 pound box on his foot. He called me about it, and we discussed it for sometime. He is making rash statements about just quitting his job… The best job he’s ever had, one that makes him very happy and pays him well.

I spoke with him for a while about it, and told him he would have to find a way to do his work so that there was no chances of dropping heavy things on his foot…at least until it heals.

Anyway, my husband was sitting 2 feet from me while I was having this conversation with my son. I wasn’t saying random, non descript words such as "uh hugh", and "oh really". I was responding with statements like, "you’re going to have to find a way to protect that foot until it can heal".

When I hung up the phone, I was irritated because my son was angry with me. And when he got angry he said "then I’ll just quit my job." I explained to him that he was being overly dramatic (his words for when he is flustered about something). Anyway he hung up angry.

I said something to my husband about, "I wish they would call you when these things happen, because he doesn’t like to talk to me and hear what I have to say about it." Or something like that. I was frustrated.

And he said to me… "What? I don’t even know what y’all were talking about."

🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬 🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬🤬

It is simply not possible that he did not hear the conversation and understand exactly what we were talking about. He just lied about it to avoid conversation while I was frustrated.

I have a real issue about being lied to at this point in my life, I wonder why… And so it totally pissed me off. I’m presently in another area of the house so that I don’t have to be in the same room with him.

I’ll try my best to reboot and get back to pleasantries as soon as possible.

Shit… It was going so well.