SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Stop listening to what he says and focus on what he does.

If he says he wants to Reconcile (as an example) — is he doing everything possible to prove to you he wants to R?

If he says I’m not cheating or speaking to her — is he still walking around attached to his phone?

The point is to watch him and see if his words are contradicted by his actions.

I'm trying to think of some way to say that what I'm about to say isn't advice but it actually is. We usually refrain from giving outright advice about what we think someone should do but in your case, I see no other choice.

Unfortunately, you are married to a LIAR. Maybe he can change, maybe he can't. Maybe he can love you again, maybe he can't. Maybe he'll want to be a husband and father, maybe he won't.

But right here, today, what you have is a LIAR who does not want to be married. So give him what he wants. File for divorce. I'm not sure of the laws over there but unless you need proof of his lying, cheating and stealing for the court, don't bother trying to find out anything else. You have all you need to know by the fact that he does not want to be a monogamous, decent husband.

Unless, of course, you're willing to throw your life away on a lying, cheating thief.

File for divorce and move on. You'll find that the sooner you get him out of your life, the sooner you'll become a whole person again.

And if the day comes that he decides to change into a decent person deserving of your love, you can change your mind about the divorce.

The reason I say all this is he has the upper hand now. He knows you'll do just about anything to keep him and he'll use that to manipulate you for the rest of your life. You deserve to be a full partner in your marriage, not tiptoeing around, afraid you'll say or do the wrong thing and drive him away. No! Don't spend the rest of your life being grateful that a lying, cheating, sleaze bag who has no feelings for anyone other than himself deems you good enough to be with him.

and make no mistake about it, the man you are currently married to is a lying, cheating sleaze bag. Don't make arrangements to speak to him. He doesn't deserve to speak to you. He doesn't deserve to breathe the same air that you do. Go file for divorce and then take care of yourself and your children and in 6 months or so, you can look back and see how he's behaved during that time. You'll have your answers about him based on how he behaves during that time.