SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Headstillspinning, my heart breaks for you and you're situation.

The others have given you good advice.

You are shock right now and that is normal.

One day at a time.

Put one foot in front of the other and do the next right thing.

Sending hugs and strength.

HSS,

At this moment in time you are probably asking yourself a million questions with answers that you dont have and you may never get or even understand. The one thing you need to do for yourself is ask yourself whether he is worthy for you.

He has tricked you and manipulated you into thinking R was possible while the whole time he was waiting on OW (Plan A). He kept you stringing along making promises and kind gestures. Unfortunately you became his plan B. His fallback plan.

The best thing you can do now is let him go. That means he has no right over you anymore and no more 'Mr nice guy' trying to help fix the house etc. He needs to be out of your life and you need time away from him. He cannot continue to be in your life pretending like youre 'best friends' and continue to 'play' happy family. He destroyed that the minute he stepped out of the marriage and into the arms of another woman.

If he returns to 'your' home after his romantic weekend away if you havent already I would start packing his bags for him. Hes already walked out of the home and now its time to take all his sh1t with him. Anger is a feeling that builds up and trust me if it hasnt come already it will soon. You have all the reasons to be devastated but more reasons to be angry. He has not only walked out on you but hes walked out on the children. He did not once think how this will impact the children. He does not care about your or your childrens feelings. He is extremely selfish. You and the children dont deserve this.

Whatever you do dont beg to save the marriage. He needs to realise what he has done and he needs to decide for himself. In the mean time you need to start proceedings and start moving on with your life. You will get through this emotional rollercoaster. Unfortunately you will need to go through all the stages. Its a long ride but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. You need to put you and the children first. You are mentally and phsyically strong and you will get through this. Take care of yourself.

Devastating. So sorry you are going through that. Counseling might help some. Focus on yourself for a bit?

I am so so sorry this happened. You have been given really good advice, my advice is to follow it.

Read up in the library on the 180, and there are lots of good articles that you will find.

You are in a crisis so you need your health, things just got very tough. Drink water, sleep, exercise and avoid alcohol. I know it isn’t easy.

Find support. Here is one place… do you have a friend you trust, that will be on your side.?

Focus on you.

About him…he is in limerence, we call it the fog. Essentially he believes that he is in love and that is because his life before somehow was wrong. While it is a bunch of malarkey it is his reality, so expect a lot of skewed thinking, decision making, history rewrites. This is ALL him.

about the lies, trust that most of what he says going forward is a lie and has been since for a time. Do not believe anything that comes out of his mouth. Validate it all. For me the lying was the hardest part.

About the future. I know it is scary, but you will be ok. You are a really strong woman. You have great kids who need and love you. And you are smart.

Also remember, he selfishly did this… not you. You are worthy and deserve much more.

Be strong, protect yourself and your family.

Lots of hugs.