Topic is Sleeping.
pureheartkit ( member #62345) posted at 5:11 AM on Monday, May 1st, 2023
We can care about and love someone and see their potential. We can value what's good about them. Those are good things.
We can protect ourselves and children who are unable to protect themselves and will have their whole lives shaped by a parent out of control and giving stress to all around them. These are necessary things. We do this not because it is a nice or kind thing to do. We do this because we must.
The world is hard enough. Give yourself every chance to have a happy life.
Cheating while you're with child? This one won't be the one you need. This one will be the one taking all your energy and resources. Money that should go to your family for escorts and whatever. You can decide your path anytime you like.
Why walk up a mountain with a stone on your back?
Walk through the woods by the stream refreshed, talking of happy memories with your child instead of what he did yesterday that made you cry.
[This message edited by pureheartkit at 5:13 AM, Monday, May 1st]
Thank you everyone for your wisdom and healing.
SoveriegnCrux ( new member #83279) posted at 6:55 AM on Monday, May 1st, 2023
Gentle hug.
There is a book I read called Chatting or Cheating by Dr. Sheri Meyers, and it fit what my own partner had been doing looking for sex via online. It's a really good book about why people look for sex or relationships through the internet and how it is an addictive combination for the chemicals in their brain, like heroin or gambling or drinking. Also, it teaches the cheater what behavior is absolutely unacceptable. It helped us, maybe you can borrow from a library and see if it helps you two. Definitely have him read it so he can understand the physical and psychological aspects he keeps trying to trigger in his head to feel fulfilled and why it's only temporary "hits."
Unfortunately, until your husband recommits 100% to your marriage, nothing will change for him or you. He can only place so much blame on addictive personality, he has to be 100% accountable for his issues and misdeads without skirting blame. Right now he is not sorry for disrespecting and hurting you in the way you hope, where he will stop such behavior ultimately. He is sorry he was caught again. There is a huge difference. Right now is the "love bombing and doing whatever you want to get you to trust him again" phase. But then, you've already been here before, you recognize it well, I am sure. The question is, do you want to be here again?
Get him into therapy, and get yourself some, as well. You're not alone. ♥
Topic is Sleeping.
