Topic is Sleeping.
Diva19 (original poster member #83232) posted at 5:59 PM on Tuesday, April 25th, 2023
[This message edited by Diva19 at 8:51 PM, Thursday, April 27th]
emergent8 ( Guide #58189) posted at 9:33 PM on Tuesday, April 25th, 2023
Hi Diva,
I'm sorry you're hurting. My recommendation to you is to give the AP as little energy as you can. I know that is easier said than done. I'm not suggesting you are not justified in being upset with her - you absolutely are. She knew he was married and she inserted herself into your world - that is 100% not okay. That said, she is not the one made vows to you.
I do not see much benefit in remaining in contact with her. No contact equals no NEW hurts. She has already proven herself to be distrustful and willing to hurt you. It is unlikely you are going to get an answer from her that you will find satisfactory or helpful. It seems much more likely that she will cause you additional pain and chaos. Do not give her that power. She likes attention and clearly thrives on drama - so stop giving her exactly what she wants. Better to let her fade into obscurity like she doesn't matter because the reality is, she doesn't.
PS. At the risk of sounding like the grammar police, without punctuation, your post is very difficult to read. In the future, you may get more responses if you divide your posts into sentences and paragraphs. I don't mean to be critical, I know you are probably operating on a stream-of-consciousness right now and that's totally okay and normal. This is so tough.
Me: BS. Him: WS.
D-Day: Feb 2017 (8 m PA with married COW).
Happily reconciled.
Beachwalker ( member #70472) posted at 10:08 PM on Tuesday, April 25th, 2023
he is taking responsibility for putting himself in the room with her but says he didn't want sex just to vent about his life
Yeah, right! It's perfectly normal for a guy and a gal to rent a hotel room just so they can talk. Happens all the time! 
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 10:53 PM on Tuesday, April 25th, 2023
he is taking responsibility for putting himself in the room with her but says he didn't want sex just to vent about his life
They could have met at Starbucks, McDonald's, or a local diner - but they met in a hotel room.
I wouldn't believe a word out of AP's mouth. They are lying cheaters who lie and no interest in helping your M.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
Stillconfused2022 ( member #82457) posted at 11:14 PM on Tuesday, April 25th, 2023
Sorry you are going through this. Everything you did was natural and normal. Thankfully you were not physically aggressive toward her in any way. She sounds like a cruel person and regardless of the fact that she did not make vows to you it is normal to think of her as the moral dumpster fire that she is. The anger is intense and hard to manage. It helped me to keep my eye out for kindness in others. Over a long period of time I was able to see that most people are not as heartless as a remorseless AP. I think there is a significant distinction between someone who is sorry for what they have done and someone who is not. The story you wrote resonated with me. This woman seems to think the A was your fault. She is completely detached from reality.
Topic is Sleeping.
