Ah…yes…affair stupid brain.
A great explanation on how a person who is in stupid-brain can later find zero attraction is exemplified in an episode of "How I Met Your Mother".
In it Robyn is seen as both a manatee and a mermaid.
It does not matter which she is.
The point is that a stupid brain sees the two stupid extremes. Repulsion for the manatee (WRONG! Because everyone is worthy and of value, beautiful simply by being created!), and intoxicating attraction to the siren mermaid (stupid brain sees no flaws. WRONG - ALL humans are flawed).
What matters is this. Start watching for this:
If I ask Mr Uxor why I should not worry about some woman lurking about him, and he says "But I am not even attracted to her."….WRONG ANSWER! Because what if he was? What if she flips into a mermaid in his stupid-brain because she happened to say one word hidden in his subconscious in the right way. Or wore the right perfume. Or did the "bend and snap" (Legally Blonde The Musical reference)?
The needed response is "I totally see her flaws now. I never want you to have to worry about that again, so I am now planning actions into myself to keep from even looking at other women in that way and seeing your beauty inside and out."
You may want him to review all of her ugliest features big and small. Perhaps that is ok. I know I initially felt that way. But it is only a quick fix.
In the long run what you really need is stupid brain strategies.
So you are always the mermaid and he is not even assessing if anyone on the rocks is a manatee or not.
See. The problem is not attraction to the manatee. It is looking at the rocks to assess in the first place.
He. Has. You.
Right on your own ship of marriage.
[This message edited by Uxoragain at 3:39 PM, Monday, June 12th]
