Topic is Sleeping.
Beagle (original poster member #79560) posted at 12:03 PM on Tuesday, July 4th, 2023
So I’ve been seeing a women for about 6 months. We have fun together and are exclusive. Here is my dilemma. She has a gay male formed, who I met, who she is extremely close with. He is married to a male who I have not met. Her relationship with him is what she describes is like a brother. She sleeps over his place some times and he sleeps over hers sometimes as he works in the area where she used to reside. When we were first seeing each other I thought this was odd. Now that we’ve been seeing each other more I’m becoming increasingly bothered by this.
A couple weeks ago she stayed up there a few nights as it was one of the guys birthdays and they had a party. I let her know that I find it troublesome to me that she has sleepovers with grown men. She said that he’s like a brother to her and she has been doing this for years.
What do I do with that. My initial reaction is to just pull away. I told her how I felt about it in a nice way. Am I off in my thinking?
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 12:22 PM on Wednesday, July 5th, 2023
You are not off in your thinking. You are entitled to view the situation as you see it.
I have friends of all kinds- straight, gay etc. so I am speaking from experience.
If it bothers you that she has these sleepovers then you need to figure out why it does. Clearly it’s not a sexual issue b/c this same sex couple is married and not interested in your partner/GF sexually.
If it bothers you then this may not be the right relationship for you. You are not wrong and your feelings are valid. Same for your partner/GF.
I hope this helps you.
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 11 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
grubs ( member #77165) posted at 2:19 PM on Friday, July 7th, 2023
If it bothers you then this may not be the right relationship for you. You are not wrong and your feelings are valid. Same for your partner/GF.
This. It only takes one dealbreaker to rule out a relationship continuing. It sounds like with your scars, this might be one for you. Doesn't mean either is to blame, just you don't fit together well enough to make it work long term. There's no point in trying to force it as that typically ends up with both of you unhappy.
Justsomeguy ( member #65583) posted at 3:22 PM on Friday, July 7th, 2023
Dating is the period where you try each other on, just to see if you both fit well. It could be that this is just a deal-breaker for you. There's nothing wrong with that and it would concur with others that there is no fault to lay anywhere.
I'm an oulier in my positions.
Me:57 STBXWW:55 DD#1: false confession of EA Dec. 2016. False R for a year.DD#2: confessed to year long PA Dec. 2 2017 (was about to be outed)Called it off and filed. Denied having an affair in court papers.
Divorced
Topic is Sleeping.
