SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I keep learning lessons, gave my stbxw what she asked for in a divorce settlement draft, she's moving the goal posts, but that's to be expected of someone with low integrity. During a divorce discussion she asked if there was more to talk about and then went on to list her grievances, defended herself, and robustly claimed her victimhood.

My avoiding all marital talk caused my stbxw to revert to DARVO. I didn't even have to participate in the conversation!

I conceptualized DARVO as a conversational technique, but it's the way some waywards process opposition to anything that gets in the way of what they want.

"I keep learning lessons, gave my stbxw what she asked for in a divorce settlement draft, she's moving the goal posts, but that's to be expected of someone with low integrity. During a divorce discussion she asked if there was more to talk about and then went on to list her grievances, defended herself, and robustly claimed her victimhood"

I am really sorry you are going through this.

The low integrity lesson took me way too long to learn and was a hard costly lesson.

Glad to see you are aware of her "tactics".

Still has to be irritating though. You have her what she wanted and she’s still trying to fight a battle she already "won".

I have a kid that is trying to master DARVO. Because I know what it is and how it works, I sidestep the deflection, the victim mentality etc.

Refuses to keep his room or bathroom clean. Refuses to clean it unless asked 3 or 4 or 10 times. Found out yesterday he’s doing it on purpose b/c I cleaned his room and bathroom a few weeks ago b/c we were having overnight guests.

I "invaded his privacy". I picked the crap off the floor and put it in his closet, dusted, vacuumed and generally cleaned up for 30 minutes. He makes it seem like I read his mail and go through his desk.

DARVO at its best. I feel your pain. Dealing w/ people like this is exhausting.