SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

This was a very helpful post to read. I find it very human the way everyone has reacted. It makes me less ashamed of the dark thoughts I had around this subject. SS33, it was a good reminder of what happened to you. I remember you sharing this before. I think it is an additional trauma, though of course that is for you to decide. I found one of the hardest things about all this cheating stuff was realizing how there were some truly bad people out there. I think what SS33 experienced typifies this idea. How can some people be so evil? I used to be jealous of the stories where there was just some clueless AP out there who just happened to accidentally get close to your WS and horrible things ensued. I don’t feel that is what happened. The AP requested to come work for my WS, then she actively pursued. I’ve seen the texts and emails. I could maybe even forgive that but going to my kids’ school pushed it over the top for me. Also, any thought she might be remorseful was shattered when I bumped into her a year and a half ago and she started screaming at me. She thinks this is my fault.

Maybe she has a point in a way. I did cause her pain. I got her fired basically from the company she had worked for for 20 years. She had violated a requirement from Human Resources that she have no contact with my husband. When I found her talking to him alone in the woods I contacted the president of the company and she was heavily encouraged to leave 2 weeks later. I am sure she blames me. Then she rejoined the company through an affiliate 2 years later. I got wind of it after about 6 months and reported it to HR. With help from my husband she was asked to leave the company again. Must have been humiliating. I wonder how she explained it to her husband and kids.

So in a way I got my revenge. I almost chose to let her stay at the company the second time. This was before I knew the A was physical so I thought maybe I should be forgiving. I am considering forgiving her again. Not that she would ever know, I would never willingly have contact with her. Other times I have the thoughts again of doing something physically violent. I would never act on that but the thought does cross my mind.

I wish everyone here peace. I’m sorry these folks hurt all of us. If I were religious maybe I would pray for them. I think this falls under the category of "…some things only God can forgive…"

Whew. Thought I wrote this and forgot. I literally had a breakdown this past week and told H that I wanted vengeance and never got it. He said "take your vengeance out on me" I told him I got to see you suffer, apologize, make amends and she just gets to live her life. I know it’s not particularly healthy to feel this way but nonetheless….