My husband has been going once or twice a month to his same IC for 14 years. The first 5 years after d day, he went weekly.
He needs to find someone new. He has asbergers and ADHD. The issue is he has fallen back into always the victim.
He also had 2 new secrets come out. We are trying to get rid of stuff. I found he is collecting old cameras, from as late as 10 years ago. If he mentioned it no problem, but I saw behind his chair maybe 20 or more cameras. He sweeps over there as part of the household. 2nd is old iPods, again mention no issue.
They are in the open on the floor or an open box.
Hee seems to be doing this as a backlash from his relationship with our daughter. She has never forgiven him. She feels she needs to protect me.
According to her she has been taking care of me since she was 6. This is not true. They were going to family therapy and stopped.
I call him out on his secrets and we have good conversations on his victim issue.
Our relationship despite all this is good. I learned there are aspects he has that are truly due to his ADHD, asbergers and his abuse. I have spoken with his knowledge to his IC about his secret keeping addiction and his procrastination. These are things he isn’t going to be able to change.
I have accepted this and come to peace, his behavior that are not changeable. We discussed with hus long term IC the need for continued check in so we can keep same checks and balances again. I don’t worry about a sexual secret.
After I became aware of his camera’s and ipods, we discussed he broke our radical honesty boundary. He did it by omission, he didn’t become defensive and agreed to get a new IC.
