Topic is Sleeping.
sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 7:38 PM on Tuesday, January 9th, 2024
If a WS's test is the pain they cause others, the next time they're tested they may cheat again, because IMO almost every one of us is more important to ourselves than others are. I may be projecting, but the biggest reason I've been faithful is that I 'know' (i.e., believe) the pain that would follow would be much worse than the pleasure I'd get from fucking someone other than my W - and I've worked with a lot of attractive women I'd want to get into bed with if I weren't married.
I believe WSes damage themselves by cheating, and I believe WSes who R know that at some important level, even if they can't put it into words. I believe my W is a good bet for R because she wants to prevent damaging herself even more than she wants to prevent damaging me.
My guess is that your WS and all WSes become good bets for R only if they comprehend what their cheating did to them. As a result, I don't have a lot of faith in a WS's professed desire not to damage their BS again.
JMO - YMMV.
[This message edited by SI Staff at 7:39 PM, Tuesday, January 9th]
fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.
Topic is Sleeping.
