Hey everyone, hope you're all doing as well as you can be.
February 4th will be 5 years out from DDay 1. I've cone a very long way thus far.
On January 6th, I was dark for a long time but I couldn't figure out why I was. That was the anniversary of the last DDay we had 4 years gone. I actually forgot about a DDay date!! Granted, I was still dark but omg!
I'm unfortunately still looking for a job. I think that was one of the biggest repercussions I've dealt with. The confidence-killing is real, regardless of R or D.
A lot of you told me that I should D my WW... that she wasn't R material. I'm happy to say "told ya so." She is a totally different person now than she was back then. In the best possible way.
If not for her having stepped up and taken accountability for her actions, I'd probably be dead by now.
It's sickening to know that had it not been for the DDays we probably would have gotten D'ed because her affairs had thrown not just a wrench but a sledgehammer between the two of us.
Am I fully healed now, 5 years out? No, I don't think I am.
I am, however, present for our infant and the older kids. I've come far enough to be responsible enough to take care of all 3 of them so that my wife can work. It doesn't bother me knowing that she's currently the breadwinner as I know that I'm contributing as best as I can. I work per diem and also do a lot of dogsitting to help make ends meet.
Again, I'm not 100% there yet, but I expect to be within the next 2-3 years.
To all of you newly betrayed spouses, I just want to tell you that there IS hope for a better future for you as soon as you relinquish control of the situation. Remember that you are a badass motherfucker with brass balls (or bosom for the ladies lol) the size of watermelons. You're a strong, passionate and capable individual. You're going to see it yourself one day soon. You just need to open your eyes.
