Cookies are required for login or registration. Please read and agree to our cookie policy to continue.

Newest Member: Dewitt

Off Topic :
Next Door Neighbor From Hell

Topic is Sleeping.
default

 betsy62 (original poster member #48022) posted at 3:47 AM on Tuesday, February 13th, 2024

Any landlords here? Or anyone have any experience with a mentally ill neighbor? I will try to explain

My adult DD and her boyfriend finally were able to move out of their hell hole apartment. They are now in a low income rental complex. Large place. Big management company. It is a better place than where they were. Except....

Their next door neighbor, has some real mental health issues. She screams and yells at the top of her lungs. Like horror movie screaming. (She is alone over there) She throws things against their shared wall. I was there once, and it literally sounded like she threw a bowling ball against the wall. She also throws that thing onto the floor. The whole wall and floor shake.

These episodes can last hours. Usually in the nighttime. My poor kids have not had a full nights sleep since they moved in.

They have called the cops so many times. They can't or won't do anything. They actually told my daughter to stop calling.

The management company is no better. Every time they have agreed to meet my daughter, suddenly, at the last minute, they cancel the meeting.

Because of the nature of the building, being low income, they did tell my daughter that to move them to a different apartment would require another application process, and the same money down they paid to get into this one. With no guarantee that one will be available. Plus, they have a very cool apartment. Not all the apartments are the same. Other than this horrible situation, everything is good.

Because of where the apartment is in the building, nobody else can hear her episodes.

This woman appears to have nobody in her life. Nobody to advocate for her. (which is so sad)

My daughter and boyfriend have only seen her once. My daughter is scared of her.

I know you can't evict someone for being mentally ill. But, come on......

My daughter and her boyfriend have no money to hire an attorney. Anybody here have any suggestions? Has anyone been a landlord dealing with something like this? Or a renter who has had to deal with a neighbor like this?

And, my poor soon to be son in law. He is having spine surgery in 3 days. He will be trying to rest and recover for about 6 weeks. He has to lay right next to the wall they share with this woman. ( I realize things won't get fixed before his surgery and recovery)

There has to be some rental law about a right to live in peace and safety. Right?

Sometimes, you must forget what you feel, and remember what you deserve

posts: 496   ·   registered: May. 26th, 2015
id 8824414
default

zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 4:14 PM on Tuesday, February 13th, 2024

Hi Betsy. Have they tried recording and documenting the yelling and banging noises?

It's very hard to deal with someone with a severe mental illness. It seems like the company that manages the rentals should have some rules in place to keep the peace.

Bad neighbors can be so stressful. I hope they can get some help to resolve the situation.

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 3681   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8824445
default

sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 6:25 PM on Tuesday, February 13th, 2024

In my state, the landlord is responsible for providing a reasonably quiet environment. Does you daughter's sate have a similar requirement? Does it have a Legal Aid agency? Does their jurisdiction have a tenant-landlord ordinance and/or a tenant ombudsman?

If so, a recording would help. Also, download an SPL (sound pressure level) meter that records would help. No agency can or will act without evidence.

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30475   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8824463
default

tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 8:21 PM on Tuesday, February 13th, 2024

Contact DHSS for your state. Police can't do much but if the state gets involved and concern for self neglect harm or safety I'd a concern they will intervene. Depending on your state and funding too she may qualify for some in home support to help keep her stable compliant with meds etc.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20302   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8824484
default

BoundaryBuilder ( member #78439) posted at 10:12 PM on Tuesday, February 13th, 2024

Not a landlord here. But I have experience negotiating with federally subsidized housing management - there's a huge HUD complex down the hill and over the fence from where I used to live - managed by the city. Had to deal with their deferred maintenance issues on several occasions - we shared a fence line. Your daughter and partner have tenant rights - and their right to seek redress and their right to whistleblow any unsafe conditions in the complex are usually included in any tenant rights. They shouldn't be afraid to exercise their tenant rights! Yes, it can feel exposed and unsettling to make demands, but in my experience the squeaky wheel gets the grease.

If they live in low income housing, then that term indicates (usually) there must be an agency, entity, organization or so on that subsidizes or sponsors that housing (state, fed, county, city, Salvation Army etc. etc.). In addition to state rules around what landlords must provide tenants (as Sisoon mentioned), the subsidizing/sponsoring entity MUST have rules in place around tenant rights and obligations - which could be accessible online. Suggest they access these rules and also find out WHO the contacts are for the subsidizing entity supplementing/sponsoring the complex - who PAYS the management company, who makes sure they're following the rules.

Hope your daughter and partner documented IN WRITING the multiple requests for help they made to property management. And hope their requests for help weren't focused solely on the noise and disruption, but also came from a stated concern for the safety and well being of the neighbor. If they didn't DOCUMENT in writing the requests for help, suggest they start doing ASAP - even if it means starting all over again. Be sure to list all the previous attempts in the written documentation. AND be sure to cc copies to ALL the appropriate local contact persons for the overseeing subsidizing agency on each documented help request. If they're using email to communicate, then maybe a sound file of the neighbor's episodes can be attached to the email. In the email, list the dates and outcomes for the multiple help requests made to the management. Include all dates and outcomes for each police report, DOCUMENT that the police told them to stop calling. Doesn't sound like a public service approach from that police department, and telling the kids to stop calling is NOT safe for them - or the neighbor. Yes it's true, the police can't do much if someone isn't willing to go along for observation or willing to seek help. but it's still prudent to document all police interactions.

In this documented written request, quote right back to management any "tenet obligations" or "tenet rights" lifted directly from the subsidizing agency rules. Including any tenant obligations the NEIGHBOR has to not be disruptive, not make noise after 10:00pm and so on. Reiterate concerns for the neighbor's safety and well being that "she could be a danger to herself, or a danger to others." Document and list every and ALL noise events in the help request. Your daughter should make it clear they're willing to go directly to the next level (the state? the feds? the city?} with their warranted concerns for their neighbor's wellbeing, and to pursue their right to "safe" housing if this situation isn't addressed. Wait a few days, if no reply, then repeat again "We contacted you on such and such a date, no reply. Please note I've cc'd XXXXX on this communication. Our situation continues to be unsafe for XXXXX neighbor as well as unsafe for us. Thank you for your immediate attention." If STILL no reply, then take the complaints to the next level. Which there should be - low income housing usually indicates a stratified bureaucracy. Maybe that bureaucracy includes a social services officer/department or social workers/case managers or so on? If so, reaching out to them could be helpful. A separate communication where your daughter clues them in on what's happening with a copy of the written request for assistance made to the managers, the noise/episode disruption records, the police response documentation and anything else helpful.

Hope this helps! It was interesting how quickly my previously ignored concerns were responded to, AFTER I went over the heads of the housing management and included their BOSSES on my documented requests for assistance. Their expedited attention to deferred maintenance issues helped keep the tenants safe as well! Spotlighting the neighbors situation with the management company, and if necessary, the powers that be, could benefit the neighbor (get her help?) as well as address the noise.

[This message edited by BoundaryBuilder at 1:15 AM, Wednesday, February 14th]

Married 34 years w/one adult daughter
ME:BW
HIM: 13 month texting EA with high school X who fished him on Facebook 43 years later
PA=15 days spread over final 3 months
D-Day=April 21, 2018
Reconciled

posts: 230   ·   registered: Mar. 4th, 2021
id 8824501
default

Jeaniegirl ( member #6370) posted at 1:37 AM on Wednesday, February 14th, 2024

Great advice from Boundary builder.

On another note, have you met this person? Have you observed any other strange behavior outside her home>
There is probably a reason, as you've found out, why your space was available for occupancy. It sounds really bad, especially during the sleeping hours. Have you thought about calling 911 and requesting (demanding) a welfare check because with all that noise, it could sound like someone is being injured on the other side od that wall. That is what you need to tell the 911 operator as you hold the phone close to the noise. And record it all.

"Because I deserve better"

posts: 3731   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2005
id 8824528
default

 betsy62 (original poster member #48022) posted at 1:50 AM on Wednesday, February 14th, 2024

Thank you for the replies.

I forgot to mention that they have recorded several of the episodes. When my daughter played them for a management member, he was not very responsive. Kind of shrugged it off.

As for now, my daughter does not want me to get involved. (except to listen to them vent) I get that. This is my daughter's real first step into an adult, addiction free life. Due to past choices, she is getting a late start on responsible living.

This is the first apartment that has her name on the lease. She is so happy and proud.

They have to navigate their life. How they want to. And, my job is to let them.

It's hard for me not to jump in, and try to fix this though. And, I would be damn good at taking this issue on....LOL My job requires negotiating, and dealing with difficult situations. And, not taking no for an answer.

So, she knows I am in the wings if she needs me. But, for now, I will just wait and see. I will let her know all of your great advice and help. If she wants to hear it...LOL

I think after her guy recovers from the spine surgery, they will both be in a better place to start being more assertive.

Sometimes, you must forget what you feel, and remember what you deserve

posts: 496   ·   registered: May. 26th, 2015
id 8824529
default

number4 ( member #62204) posted at 2:53 AM on Wednesday, February 14th, 2024

Not a landlord here, but the degree of mental illness you are describing is alarming. I read your post right after reading about the woman who shot up the church in Houston over the weekend. Her neighbors shared how many resources they went through to try to get law enforcement to take their fears seriously, and the neighbors kept getting passed along from one agency to another - no one wanted to take ownership of the problem. You never know what's going to cause someone to snap. And I'm sure that's why your daughter is so fearful - I think she has every right to be.

I'm so sorry she's having to deal with this because it obviously worries you, too.

Me: BWHim: WHMarried - 30+ yearsTwo adult daughters1st affair: 2005-20072nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addictionStatus: R

posts: 1373   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: New England
id 8824531
Topic is Sleeping.
Cookies on SurvivingInfidelity.com®

SurvivingInfidelity.com® uses cookies to enhance your visit to our website. This is a requirement for participants to login, post and use other features. Visitors may opt out, but the website will be less functional for you.

v.1.001.20241101b 2002-2024 SurvivingInfidelity.com® All Rights Reserved. • Privacy Policy