I wish I could post a nice happy update but some days I just feel like this relationship thing is nothing but additional stress.
D was finalised in 2021. Over the past couple of years I’ve dated on and off. I would say there have been three significant men that I’ve come across in that time:
1) A guy I met fairly quickly after I started dating. Talked loads, saw him off and on and it was enjoyable for a while. Over recent months though it all began to sour. Had a huge disagreement and he didn’t talk to me for over a month so I assumed we were done. Then he contacted me again. I was probably too polite and we fell back to talking. Then he was pushing me to see him and I was really not happy with our disagreement / the way he gave me the silent treatment so I ended it. Then he contacted me again. Again I’m polite, again we’re chatting, again he wants to see me, again I just can’t bring myself to do that.
2) A really sweet, understanding guy. He’s so respectful of my life commitments. But unfortunately, no chemistry. So I make it clear dating is off the table. He’s lovely about it and we stay in infrequent contact. But recently he’s been implying he’d like to date me. I wish I liked him like that. But I don’t, so as much as I want to chat to him I’m limiting contact.
3) A guy that I had chemistry with - hurrah! He cancelled our first date before it happened as his ex came back into his life. I appreciated him being upfront and not starting to see me in that situation. Then a few months later he contacted me. The ex was in the past and he wanted to take me out. We go out a few times and it was great. I was actually excited for once! But then he goes quiet. Uh-oh. A few weeks later I get the message - he’s decided to go back to his ex. Can’t fault him for telling me, but still a disappointment.
In amongst all this, I’m juggling children, my ex, work, family… Sometimes I’m so damn tired. Other times I have the opportunity to see people and I just cannot bring myself to leave the house. How can I motivate myself again?
