SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Coping,

This is an interesting question.

Since my W never gave a decent disclosure it's like the entire area around where they worked emits a low level of affair radiation.

I know they ate lunch together at many places, most of them gone or the name changed, being 30 years ago.

It's about 7 miles from where we live and when I go there or pass through the memories become stronger.

I've never avoided the area, although her affair made it a different place.

This isn’t so much where I refused to go, but where the AP couldn’t. I was driving a few blocks from our house and I noticed his truck outside a house. I stopped the car and waited for him to come out. I went up to him and told him I never wanted to see his truck in our neighborhood again. I said you can finish this job, but that’s it. If I see you again I will make your life a living hell. After I said are you clear on this, he replied yes I understand.

This big strong guy so full of bravado was actually cowering. He started to say something and I told him to go f yourself and walked away. Never saw him again. Wasn’t a pleasant evening at the WWTL household.

Lol, for a time, except to visit specific people, all of the state of New Jersey was dead to me. Only years later after many changes in my life, did I notice on a work trip that I no longer felt super sad or even wistful in any way going to that state, even driving some of the roads where I had tearful drove down.

I didn't have a location issue, only certain connected people that I cut out of my life. Many years later I can interact with those people briefly without problem but still choose to be relatively distant and not really engage. I only interact if the situation calls for it... like at a social event with a lot of people.

I think this relates. Eventually, you don't want your life hampered by a location. If there is an event there you want to attend, it would be good for the A not to deny you that. That may be years down the line though.

I do have a concern about the request. My concern is that it seems insensitive. Kind of like "hey, I really like this place and even though I spent a lot of time with posom there I'd appreciate it if you would get over that and start going with me". I realize it came across more appropriate than that but it seems to be the underlying sentiment. I think your fww needs to examine this dynamic and realize that her actions killed that place for you and it should also have killed it for her. That's a natural consequence she needs to accept willingly imo. If you eventually find you are ok with it, then fine. Until then, it is what it is.