Feelingeveylow,
You have done the right thing, don’t forget that. However, the road forward will be long and painful.
I know that for me, as a betrayed husband, I wanted and needed to know everything. And yet, I live with the fact that I do not and never will know "everything". You may find that your wife, no matter what your efforts at full transparency, might come to the same conclusion that I have about my wife's disclosure.
I don’t know if this fits your disclosure, for my wife’s disclosure was not nearly as well thought out as yours, but for me, every "I don’t remember" and "I don’t know", true or not, was and is fertile ground for the weed of disbelieve to take root and mature, bloom and seed.
This is my experience, not necessarily yours or your wife’s, but I share it so you might choose your words in authenticity and then accept that that honesty may very well be smothered by distrust. The hope is that the suffocating will be temporary and not the death of your marriage. But either way, you are no longer in control and will have to accept the future choices of your betrayed spouse, as she is now having to accept the past choices of her betraying spouse.
Hang in there, we are here for you and are crossing our fingers for the outcome of your disclosure, whether that be reconciliation or divorce.
Asterisk
