SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Yay! I was happy to watch the first episode for free on Starz when it first came out but I don't have cable, or any tv at all, and so finally! I can watch the first episodes, 6-I think, on 2 discs. That's all they offer right now.

I was about to cancel netflix, but I'll hang on a bit for this...

Loved the first book. The others are good, but the first is great fun. Yippee!

Outlander!!!!

I absolutely LOVE the books. I read the entire series at least once a year- and this since I was 18/19yrs old!

The TV series on Starz has not disappointed me yet (though the books are a million times better because of details).

Welcome to the Outlander Club!

It's a good show and very well done but I had issue with Claires lines during the marriage episode and I haven't watched more since... it was too triggery for me as it felt like the honesty I never got.

Claire Fraser - "Not only was I a bigamist and an adulteress, but I'd enjoyed it."

Yes, that's a terrible line! Aarrgh!

I read the book about 20+ years ago. And then again maybe 15 years. And I've read them all except the side tracks (Gray series). None are as good as the first, but still fun.

Gaby you read the book, and the whole series, over every single year? OMG!

Gaby you read the book, and the whole series, over every single year? OMG!

Yep! I get a "craving" to read the first one, then once I start that one, I can't NOT finish the series, hehehe.

I've never read the Gray series or other spin-offs of the series. I keep meaning to, but they don't have the same pull for me.

Yep! I get a "craving" to read the first one, then once I start that one, I can't NOT finish the series, hehehe

This is me too. lol I'm on my 6th or 7th reread now? I've lost count.

When I started reading the books I was still married to wxh. The infidelity aspect didn't bother me as much then. After having gone through it, I find that it does bother me a bit, if I'm honest. I think the part that makes it adulterous for me is that when Jamie took her to the stones after the witch trial, she chose to stay with him. Prior to that, I felt she had been staying and continuing her life there mainly because she didn't want to run afoul of Black Jack again. It was for her protection. But then when she had the chance to go back, she chose to stay. Yes, I understand that she had fallen in love with Jamie by then, and I understand her choice. But it does feel adulterous.

Idk if I'm making sense.

ETA: Fiance bought me the dvds for Christmas. I love the show so far, and can't wait to see the rest of the season.

[This message edited by abbycadabby at 8:14 AM, April 23rd (Thursday)]

I think the part that makes it adulterous for me is that when Jamie took her to the stones after the witch trial, she chose to stay with him. Prior to that, I felt she had been staying and continuing her life there mainly because she didn't want to run afoul of Black Jack again. It was for her protection. But then when she had the chance to go back, she chose to stay.

I have mixed feelings about this.

I think the priest in the abby explains it pretty well though. There's no guarantee that she would make it back through the stones alive, willing to go or not. Also, given the length of time she was gone, it was entirely likely that she'd been declared dead and Frank would have moved on.

On the flip side, its sort of like a prisoner of war scenario. When captured by the enemy soldiers have an obligation, so to speak, to try to escape and get back home. That was her initial intention, but then she fell in love with Jamie.

I can definitely see both sides of the argument.

But I agree with Totalheartbreak that the line could be very triggery for a lot of BS.

Absolutely, Gaby. The priest addressed it very well. And I was okay with it until I was cheated on. Then I viewed it through a slightly different lens.

Overall though, it hasn't stopped me from loving the books. I do wonder if Diana put the stuff in about Frank's later indiscretions so that the reader wouldn't see him as quite such a sympathetic character anymore. To kinda, even the playing field for Frank and Claire, so to speak.

Idk. Clearly I need to find a book club to discuss all this with. lol

I've wondered that too (about Franks indiscretions)! I've also wondered if she added the increasing difficulty in traveling through the stones each time as another way to "excuse" Claire from going back.

I definitely saw the books in a different light at various points as I've aged.

At 19 or so when I first read them, Jamie seemed like the ideal for the Manly Man.

After kids, infidelity, and some seasoning, Jamie, while I still love him, has some less than fine moments. Lies of ommission, double-standards (though in his time it wasn't looked upon in the same way now), and general assholishness on a few incidents.

Claire also had her moments where I wanted to slap her too, so it went both ways.

i thought it was alright until it seemed to me that it was so women could fantasize about adultery. granted there's a lot of other diversions, but at it's heart it's about her being an adulteress and liking it, like she said. i guess as a BH it would make sense that i wouldn't be thrilled with it. but, if it makes you happy..

[This message edited by mike7 at 10:35 AM, April 25th (Saturday)]

Hi all! I'm part of the Outlander club also! I wasn't even done with Outlander when I booked my first trip to Scotland, it was a very small tour group and I fell in love with the country. I took my 21 year old daughter on a long distance hike last summer (Ft. William to Inverness - about 76 miles) and it was amazing! I'm lucky I get to share my obsession with my daughter. My friends and I (all Diana Gabaldon fans) attended a conference in Nov. and I got to meet Diana and Graham McTavish (Dougal) I was so flustered I could hardly speak. Anxiously awaiting tonights episode

Mike- that's a huge generalization to make. I for one, have never fantasized about infidelity, and most of us here state that the adultery aspect is something that we take issue with.

As I stated, I started reading the books before infidelity even touched my personal life, and I fell in love with it. The imagery of Scotland, the characters, the history, the humor, the adventure, the magic of it all somehow just really was very enjoyable for me.

Have you read the book?

At 19 or so when I first read them, Jamie seemed like the ideal for the Manly Man.

After kids, infidelity, and some seasoning, Jamie, while I still love him, has some less than fine moments. Lies of ommission, double-standards (though in his time it wasn't looked upon in the same way now), and general assholishness on a few incidents.

Claire also had her moments where I wanted to slap her too, so it went both ways.

YES! I SO agree. In first reading, I felt Jamie was the epitome of masculinity, chivalry, and valor. I loved Claire's intelligence, her stubbornness, and her wit. After growing up some I've come to realize that these characters are flawed, which to me, makes them more dear because they are so relatable. There are times I bet others want to slap me!

Now, with all of that said, I don't sit around fantasizing about traipsing off to Scotland to fall through some stones and meet my Jamie Fraser. For one thing, I'd never make it during that time period (no AC? No showers? No cars? ) For another, I'm perfectly happy with my Polish-Italian fiancé who has never tanned my hide for not obeying his orders. No, overall I am happy where I am. But it is nice to be able to escape into the story when I want.

First disc and first 4 episodes down. I think they did a great job of capturing the essence of the book in the places, characters and basic plot. One more disc coming from netflix will bring in 4 more episodes, then I'll have to wait patiently for the rest.

I feel like I should thank you guys; I never heard of Outlander until I read the thread about it last year. So I got the book on kindle, thinking it might be something I'd enjoy...guys. I'm OBSESSED. So thanks. Got dh to add Starz so I could watch the show and I think it's maybe the best book adaptation I've ever seen.

The first book was published when I was in middle school so I'm actually glad I didn't find it then. I don't think I would have appreciated Jamie and Claire, warts and all. I was part of an online seminar that discussed Outlander and one thing that came out of it was #imperfectJamie.

It's also on Amazon instant video, $2 an episode or $14 for the season.

Add me to the Outlander obsessed club!! :)

I've been reading Outlander since 2000. My mother introduced me to the series. I've met Diana twice, she's an entertaining speaker and very generous with her time (she's taken hours signing books both times I met her). I love how well researched her books are.

I have read the books countless times, but haven't done a reread since infidelity touched my marriage... I think I'm avoiding a reread.

I've watched the first half of season one, but the amount of sex makes me uncomfortable because of WH's SA. So I guess I'm avoiding that, too.

I have read a few of the John Grey books. I recommend The Scottish Prisoner, it's told half from Jamie's POV.

Finished the first 8 epiosodes and they were good so I'm sad I have to wait for the rest.

I saw the episode where she is forced to marry Jaime and after talking half their wedding night knowing they had to consummate to prove the marriage was valid I heard the line discussed earlier on the thread.

After hours talking they finally have sex and Claire says ruefully, not only am I a polygamist and an adultress, but I liked it. Meaning she feels chagrined that she enjoyed the sex and her body responded. She does not feel good about having two husbands.

I get that this is a triggery subject and many of us are closer to DDay than me. I'm 7 years out and I didn't start reading these books again until I was 6.5 years out. I get the sensitivity. But I don't hear it at all as she is proud to be an adultress. She is remorseful even as she enjoys the sex and falls in love with husband #2.

Few adultresses have the excuse that she cannot get back to husband #1 because she is trapped in time, kidnapped alternately by highlanders then english soldiers. She tried get back to husband #1 many times, even after marrying husband 2. Claire is imperfect but she comes across as a sympathetic character to me. Perhaps I would feel differently if I was closer to my DDay.

BTW the wedding episode was the most boring one.

I have an older friend, she is in her 70's, and she said once to me, 'I'm not interested in anyone's sex but my own.' I feel the same. I get bored watching others have sex.

BTW the wedding episode was the most boring one.

I have an older friend, she is in her 70's, and she said once to me, 'I'm not interested in anyone's sex but my own.' I feel the same. I get bored watching others have sex.

Ditto! I was actually wanting that particular episode to get back to the main storyline. Even when re-reading the books, I tend to skip over the sex "scenes" because it isn't necessary for me in the grand scheme of things.

I hate this book for so many reasons, not the least of which fucking Amazon keeps fucking recommending fucking Diana Gibbbousmoonmonkeyfucker books despite the "IM NOT FUCKING INTERESTED" checkbox.

I'm afraid to even hover a pointer over the fucking thing by accident on Netflix lest it immediately propagate the RECOMMENDED BECAUSE DIANA GIBBONFACEFARTKNUCKLE IS A FUCKING SORCERESS AND HAS INFECTED YOUR TELEVISION WITH HER BULLSHIT category overwriting every other category available.

I get that this is a triggery subject and many of us are closer to DDay than me. I'm 7 years out and I didn't start reading these books again until I was 6.5 years out. I get the sensitivity. But I don't hear it at all as she is proud to be an adultress. She is remorseful even as she enjoys the sex and falls in love with husband #2.

It isn't that she's proud, she's just utterly dismissive of it. I guess it helps to be brought to mutiple climax by Gary Stu in a book that doesn't even pass the Bechdel test.

I don't begrudge anyone enjoying the series but it's triggery for a lot of folks for good reason, it's because the main character plows along through the fantasy world construct of infidelity. I don't think anyone could write a better escapist-justification analogy if they tried to do it on purpose.

Hell I'd be happy to forget the fucking things existed if Amazon would just stop recommending them.

[This message edited by StillGoing at 12:38 PM, May 4th (Monday)]