Topic is Sleeping.
Notagain1 (original poster new member #78464) posted at 3:27 PM on Saturday, June 19th, 2021
I just have to get something off my chest and this seems the best way to do it. I am moving in to my apartment today and I am excited yet filled with so much pain. The hardest part I think is how little I obtained for myself personally over the past 30 years. There is a garage and room filled with things that one could say are just his personal items, yet my personal things aren't even 2 car loads! How codepenant was I that his needs and wants were always put before mine? Thanks for listening.
WhoTheBleep ( member #49504) posted at 3:42 PM on Saturday, June 19th, 2021
I'm sorry you are hurting.
Think of it this way. You have very little baggage from this relationship. You essentially have a clean slate and can start anew in every way. See the thread in New beginnings about buying things only you will see. Think of this as a positive. Codependent no more. You don't have to run anything past anyone. Accumulate whatever you want. Toss or donate anything you want. You are the captain of your ship.
You have been heard.
I believe we have two lives: the one we learn with, and the one we live with after that. --The Natural
BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 5:35 PM on Saturday, June 19th, 2021
There is a strange silver lining to having less stuff— you will have fewer reminders of him. Your new place will be your HOME. It will be 100% you.
Realize that it is also a reflection of the value you put in non-physical goods - friendships and experiences and feelings.
This is the start of your new chapter. It’s going to be great.
(((Notagain1)))
Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)
**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **
Karmafan ( member #53810) posted at 7:17 AM on Sunday, June 20th, 2021
Hey Noteagain, two years ago I packed up and moved us to a different house in a different town. I purposely got rid of roughly 70% of all our stuff from before. What that did for my psyche I can’t describe! To own your space, to fill it with things of your choosing, to organise it to your exact specifications does something wonderful to your mind and soul. It gives you back control and helps you put the past to rest and embrace the future and its possibilities.
I know you are just at the beginning of the process, but remember, you have taken the first step towards a life that is authentic, clean and, most of all, yours to live as you please.
Me 48 XWH Irrelevant D-day 23 Feb 163 amazing, resilient kids
You are not a drop in the Ocean, you are the entire Ocean in a drop
Anna123 ( member #70908) posted at 4:37 PM on Sunday, June 20th, 2021
Ditto on the comments above!
yet my personal things aren't even 2 car loads!
This comparatively small number of personal items is personally impressive in my eyes.
Let us know how things are going when you settle in!
Topic is Sleeping.
