SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Did anyone just take things and burn them as a form of release??? I'm not talking major valuables, just thing that may have a meaning to you. Example.. when we got married, his Grandma bought this set of walnut candle holders and a holder of some kind sitting in the house. I think it would burn nicely? Or is that just crazy thoughts?

I personally would not burn something that was given by a grandparent. I see in your profile that both of his parents are gone. Does he not want it? Your daughter?

Getting rid of stuff is definitely a good thing for you to do and if you’ve tried to give it with no takers, then I would put it in the donate pile.

When wh first left in 2009 we were moving. (He started the affair when we were mid-move… took a couple of months to sell our house, etc).

He left me and my two kids to move without him. I didnt burn his stuff, but i threw it away. My wedding boquet went in a dumpster. I threw it like you would at a wedding, which I actually forgot to do at my own wedding

I also had WH’s college diploma. Shredded that mother f#%^*# into about 100 pieces and laughed while I was doing it.

When we reconciled i told him that Id ripped up his diploma. He was incredulous but i said if you wanted it, should have come and gotten it.

[This message edited by Gottagetthrough at 1:38 PM, July 17th (Saturday)]

I burnt our beautiful wall plaque with the family name and the year we were married on it. My sister and her husband made it for us and they burnt it for me.

It felt good at the time. But did little else.

I threw a lot away and then a fire burned the whole house down. Purge the stuff you don’t want.

One night after he passed away…(he died so no divorce) I was home alone and I dumped his prized whiskey collection…i won’t lie, it felt good. It was a release of my bottled up anger.

I was so stupid I hand carried stuff to the state he ran off when I went home and handed it off to someone to give to him. I offered to ship the bed I found out he did the cyber sex in with...his own first attorney said he would have burnt my wh's stuff. I sent stuff to him.

I have been asking him for more than two years to simply receive a couple boxes of personal stuff.

This probably makes me a schmuck. That said, it is also being self protective because my wh would use any opportunity I give him against me.

When I left, I took only what I wanted. I left all of the wedding photos and albums, save one 4X4 framed photo which I have packed away. I figured I would let her keep the mementos of the marriage she threw away. I remember one item I purposely left. It was a Valentine's day heart shaped box of chocolates that I had decorated with her bridal head dress flowers. It was for our first VD and I filled it with her favourite chocolates. As o packed it back into her box, I thought that she had never, in 27 years, done anything like that for me.

Shred or burn if it heals you.

When I moved out, I left all the wedding stuff (cards, our printed vows, etc.). He gave them back to me later all teary and sad. I took them home, popped open a beer and put them in the fire pit and let that blaze on along with the journal I'd kept during those months before I left. It felt pretty great. Turns out he'd supposedly put his wedding ring in it too and he demanded it back, but I never found remnants of that later, lol. Oh well. Don't give things away, genius. That's a manipulation tactic fail.

When I went to the judge for the divorce hearing, I asked about his personal belongings. She told me I should hang on them for a month and if he didn't come get them, I was free to throw them out.

I donated all his clothes, threw out unnecessary papers. I packed his photos and any important papers such as birth certificates and gave them to adult son to give to him.

I'm going through everything right now, have to move, and just tossing out anything that belongs to him that is not "important".i

Burning things can have a carthartic effect if that helps you. For me, right now, I don't have the time or inclination to even bother with that right now.

When I found scarves that belonged to OP year ago, that he said he bought for me, I realized that they were hers. They were used and had perfume on them that I never wear. I ended up bringing those out side and ripped them apart. My son found me and said,
I thought you were going to burn them!! :)

Do whatever you feel would be the most helpful.