Topic is Sleeping.
freetogonow (original poster member #57821) posted at 8:19 AM on Tuesday, September 14th, 2021
The only reason he isn't blocked is because divorce is pending and I need his cooperation on a couple things, so while I don't mind tormenting him by ignoring him, I also don't want to actively seek to provoke him.
He is desperate and getting more desperate as our divorce date gets closer.
Me: Pocket dials him by mistake
Me: Immediately texts and says, "sorry, pocket dial." I know good and well that he got that text.
20 minutes later, he's blowing up my phone and I know he's not gonna stop so I just figure I'll answer and tell him verbally what he already knows: "Yeah as the text said (LOL), that was a pocket dial, sorry." Him: "oh I was worried, I saw I had a missed call, I just wanted to be sure you were ok" yadda yadda.
Discussion with my hairdresser today.
Me: Apparently the grass wasn't greener.
Her: No, the grass is dying.
We laughed our asses off.
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 3:35 PM on Tuesday, September 14th, 2021
馃槀馃槅馃槀馃槅
Every betrayed should read this. Just more proof the AP is not the answer to whatever problems the cheater was trying to solve.
No affair or AP or anything like that will magically erase the issues. It just becomes one more thing to add to the pool of crap the cheater has to deal with.
[This message edited by The1stWife at 8:27 AM, Friday, September 17th]
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 11 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
Sofarsogood ( member #71991) posted at 4:45 PM on Tuesday, September 14th, 2021
It's too bad that actions have consequences eh? Wouldn't It be great if people were able to take a minute and think about what their decisions might entail? I'm not saying that some aren't redeemable, but they could've saved others a lot of heartache, had they thought things through.
crazyblindsided ( member #35215) posted at 8:21 PM on Tuesday, September 14th, 2021
No, the grass is dying.
This part
fBS/fWS(me):51 Mad-hattered after DD (2008)
XWS:53 Serial Cheater, Diagnosed NPD
DD(21) DS(18)
XWS cheated the entire M spanning 19 years
Discovered D-Days 2006,2008,2012, False R 2014
Divorced 8/8/24
99problems ( member #59373) posted at 3:01 AM on Friday, September 17th, 2021
Turns out it wasn't grass at all, but a field of poison ivy and nettles.
Shucks.
Got me a new forum name!<BR />Formerly Idiotmcstupid.<BR />I am divorced, so not as much of an idiot now- 4/15/21,
99problems ( member #59373) posted at 3:01 AM on Friday, September 17th, 2021
Double post
[This message edited by 99problems at 9:02 PM, September 16th, 2021 (Thursday)]
Got me a new forum name!<BR />Formerly Idiotmcstupid.<BR />I am divorced, so not as much of an idiot now- 4/15/21,
The1stWife ( Guide #58832) posted at 8:29 AM on Friday, September 17th, 2021
This bolsters my theory that for some people, "you want what you can鈥檛 have" holds true.
Why is he now remorseful? Because he cannot get you back and he realizes it now.
[This message edited by The1stWife at 7:16 PM, Monday, September 20th]
Survived two affairs and brink of Divorce. Happily reconciled. 11 years out from Dday. Reconciliation takes two committed people to be successful.
HalfTime2017 ( member #64366) posted at 6:43 PM on Monday, September 20th, 2021
The1stWife is so right on with this.
No affair or AP or anything like that will magically erase the issues. It just becomes one more thing to add to the pool of crap the cheater has to deal with.
Cheating builds on a whole new set of problems. I know in my case, and many of the other BS, their wives had some self esteem issues. Or are in need of a lot of positive affirmations. HOW the HELL does cheating get you this in the long run? I think they add on more issues to their already fragile self. Sooner or later, will implode and I don't want to be there to see their rock bottom.
csaiht ( member #77335) posted at 10:08 PM on Sunday, September 26th, 2021
Mine is doing the same. Acted like I was an option all these years, now wants nothing to do with APs and wants so badly to be back here. He told me he's miserable, hates every second of this, etc.
Good! Bye, asshole!
leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 4:04 AM on Monday, September 27th, 2021
As I've read here, nobody solved their problems by falling on another person's genitals.
BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21
Luckycline ( new member #74682) posted at 1:55 PM on Wednesday, October 6th, 2021
Halftime, my ex-ww was just like you say. Very low self esteem and needed lots of affirmation.
It's been almost two years since the divorce though and no remorse yet.
Last I heard from her was just her telling me how much of an awful person I am.
Oh well. I'm getting on with my life.
Me: BS 30
Her: WS 30 EA/PA
Married - 7 years
DDay - 6/21/2019
Separated - 05/19/2019
Filed for D - 6/24/2019
11/19 - DIVORCED
HalfTime2017 ( member #64366) posted at 8:10 PM on Wednesday, October 6th, 2021
LuckyCline- My exWW was not, and still is not remorseful. Just because someone has low self esteem DOES not mean that they are not prideful or pompous. In fact I would argue that its their pride some times that prevents true remorse and empathy to come to the surface. They are fragile, so looking in the mirror and realizing who they are, it will hurt their already low esteem.
I've seen from my ex recently a shift, and me thinks that the grass is turning brown. I don't expect an apology though. I've moved on, and have a great life. I made it out to the other side, and things have improved for me. I no longer care. I just want my kids to be safe and happy while we coparent.
I'm not entirely there yet with indifference b/c I feel like I'd still enjoy hearing about the Karma Bus paying her a visit, but aside from that, I'm pure NC and have moved on with my life. 
Marz ( member #60895) posted at 9:47 PM on Wednesday, October 6th, 2021
Gotta watch out for words. They probably have their fingers crossed behind their back.
Topic is Sleeping.
