SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I caught my husband at a hotel in the middle of the day a little over 2 months ago. He was receiving his second happy ending massage in about a 6 month period. We are working on reconciling I am so hurt. Anybody else in the same boat? Do I consider this full on cheating? I am grateful the heart was not involved and would like to minimize this to a stupid mistake but I can't, at least not yet. I am shocked and hurt over this behavior. He is full of regret and doing all the "right" things. He takes full responsibility and has not put any blame on me for anything. The last 3 years have been pretty rough stress wise with outside things. He has been my rock through this and now I feel it's all been a lie. It's not who he is. At least I didn't think he was this person. He says the same thing, however he did it. I'm at a loss. We are in MC - I will seek IC soon and pass on some books to him. Suggestions? But mostly does anybody else have a similar situation? I feel so alone.

I replied to your post in JFO (Just Found Out).

Yes sadly it is cheating. He snuck behind your back and had a sexual encounter with someone else.

But have hope you can recover and reconcile from this as long as both spouses are truly committed to Reconciliation.

It seems as though some people make these choices to cheat after dealing with stressful situations (death in the family, new baby, work issues, stress of kids etc.). We know it’s just an excuse but there are some patterns that make people think an affair or cheating is the solution to their problem or unhappiness.

Instead they get caught and only add more problems to their life than they realize.

I hope you can both reconcile and get past this. Just know it takes fine and it’s not over in a few months. At least not from the betrayed side.

Please go to JFO to support this member under the same name thread.