SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hi everyone.

I posted long ago about finding out my wife's affair. This forum has been such a huge help to me. I was on ptsd mode for about three months before seeing a therapist.

Long story short, I'm finally divorcing her after two years since dday.

I'd like to know your thoughts about the deal we are about to make if I'm getting screwed.

We were in CA and now reside in TX so alimony/ss is not so crazy.

split everything even as far as bank, investments, child, etc...

only two things. I have to pay max child support in TX at 1840 which I don't mind since I make more than her...BUT the one thing that bothers me is the spousal support.

This person cheated, lied and slandered me, but is asking for four years support after child support at 2k a month.

that's 3.5 years left before our son turns 18 and then the spousal support starts. I feel like I'm locked in with this person for another 7.5 years when all I want to do is get away from her.

Should I take the deal or go to trial. If we go to trial these are the pros and cons.

if jurisdiction lands in CA, she can ask for more money and longer spousal support since CA anything over 20 years of marriage can be brutal. So this is very risky to me.

if jurisdication lands in TX, then she only gets child support. BUT right now, she's willing to setting regardless of jurisdiction with the deal mentioned above.

Do I take the chance of CA getting jurisdiction or should I just go with the four year ss settlement?

Thanks for reading and I appreciate any thoughts or advice.

What does your legal counsel suggest?

He said it's 50/50 because while in TX, she filed in CA first. I filed in TX a week after.

So we are awaiting court jurisdiction determination.

He thinks we should wait and see who gets jurisdiction, but if I did that and she gets CA court, then I could get bent.

If she is a legal resident of Texas, then filing in CA is not proper venue.

Do you have property still in CA? What is the basis for her filing in CA as the proper forum?

What is the approximate maintenance cost per month for her 4 years?

How long have the two of you resided in TX?

We don't have property in CA.

The tricky part is that she filed two weeks short of TX residency. She also has a CA DL still and works for a CA company remote. She filed in CA since it takes six months to be a TX resident so she obviously was on guard. We moved to TX 12.23.2022. Her ask is 2k per month spousal support.

This deal would minimize attorney cost, trial stress, etc...but will cost me four years of spousal and possibly more if she gets CA jurisdiction.

I feel like I have to make this deal, but really wanted some sort of justice for this cheater. I feel like she's getting away with not only cheating, but support that she doesn't deserve.

Not sure how this relates to your situation, but one is supposed to get a TXDL within 90 days of moving to Texas, so that's probably a not a player for her.

If you're new to Texas, you have 90 days from the time you moved to the state to obtain your Texas driver's license. After that, your out-of-state or out-of-country license will no longer be valid for use in TX.

She's essentially driving around unlicensed.

[This message edited by SacredSoul33 at 1:38 AM, Sunday, August 13th]

When you filed in TX, was it after 6 months of TX residency? Or did you file in TX prior to meeting the 6 month threshold?

I am not a lawyer, part of the reason why I pay them when needed.

I also listen to the people I hire, otherwise why hire them? If you have confidence in your lawyer listen to him, unless the 96K (2K x 12K=24K -> 4 years = 96K) is worth the piece of mind. I would however have a nice long chat with your lawyer about it, since it sure seems like she is resident of Texas to a reasonable person.

I'm trying to recall if alimony is still tax deductible, perhaps an accountant will chime up on this point.

^ The IRS changed their policy a few years ago. Alimony is now tax deductible for the recipient. Previously, the payor could receive the tax benefit. So in this case, he’d be taxed on the amount paid per year.

^ The IRS changed their policy a few years ago. Alimony is now tax deductible for the recipient. Previously, the payor could receive the tax benefit. So in this case, he’d be taxed on the amount paid per year.

I think it's the other way around: If you paid amounts that are considered taxable alimony or separate maintenance, you may deduct from income the amount of alimony or separate maintenance you paid whether or not you itemize your deductions. . . .If you received amounts that are considered taxable alimony or separate maintenance, you must include the amount of alimony or separate maintenance you received as income.

I am a lawyer, but not in TX or CA, nor do I practice family law. With all that said, I'm surprised CA allows alimony to be paid to an unfaithful spouse. Many states, including mine, do not. In those states a dependent spouse who has an affair is precluded from receiving alimony. I'm sure your lawyer is correct, I just found that odd.

[This message edited by BallofAnxiety at 6:43 PM, Wednesday, August 16th]

Here’s the verbiage below. I may be misreading but think my take is how it now works. Using firsthand experience from my STBX who pays alimony to his first wife; they divorced before the 1/1/19 mark and so she pays taxes on the alimony she receives. We have always had a nice bump in our tax return because of it. But now that the law has changed, my STBX will be taxed on what he pays me (and remain untaxed on what he pays his first wife):

The Tax Cuts and Jobs Act (TCJA) came into effect in December 2017, resulting in significant changes in alimony taxes. You can report your alimony payments as a tax deduction only if you finalized your divorce by December 31, 2018. Similarly, the recipient must report the amount as income and pay taxes on it.

If you concluded your divorce process after that date, you can’t claim a tax deduction for alimony payments. Additionally, the IRS doesn’t take spousal support as income for the recipient. Therefore, the receiving spouse doesn’t pay tax on it. The same applies to all alimony agreements modified after December 31, 2018.

You’re paying good money to a lawyer to understand the law, its implications, and help you weigh your options and come to the best decision. If your lawyer isn’t providing you with the clarity that you need, you should find a new one.

SI is really good at giving you support and providing you with our experiences with the legal process, but none of us know all the necessary specifics of your case or have the expertise to give you a solid answer.