SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I've needed pills to get hard since my divorce 8 years ago (sort of embarrassing to admit, especially since I know some people for here IRL), but other than that, sex post-divorce has been really great. I think sex is sort of a primal thing, and once you get into it, it's sort of instinctual. Be gently and confident, pay attention to how a woman responds to your touch, be open to feedback, and have fun!

Don't be embarassed about that, h0peless. Shit happens as we age. That's a pretty common one.

Nothing wrong with that h0peless! We may have a bottle of those in our bedroom too. NBD.

Dadchats,

I am a little late to this party.

Based on your posts I am assuming you have been separated from your Ex-fiancé for approximately 90 days. Is that correct?

If this time frame is correct you may be jumping into the possibility of a new relationship too quickly.

IMHO you need to put all your efforts into taking care of yourself and the children but

i am now very nervous of when I eventually have a new sexual partner

When it is time for this new relationship several of the great things you will experience is getting to know every inch of her body and having her getting to know every inch of your body.

I enjoyed doing things with my ExWW that brought both of us pleasure that my wife does not enjoy.

There are many things I enjoy doing with my wife that bring us both pleasure but my ExWW did not find enjoyable.

FOOLED13YEARS

Yes found out of her affair early April but she committed to him behind my back in early March. I am nowhere ready for a new relationship i am just overthinking things. Yes I totally agree I am just focusing on myself and the kids. That's all I can do really.

It's an interesting topic you opened up, Dadchats. I lost my virginity with my XWW. I'm now 69. I only know how one female body responded. I thought we had a pretty good sex life with intimacy and before and after love and cuddling. She orgasmed as much as she wanted to, as far as I know. I haven't been on a date with anyone than her since 1976. Now I have concern if there will ever be anyone else and, if there is, what about the sex?

STEADYCHEVY

I wish you good luck sir, dont let you age become a barrier.

Dadchats,

My XWW was my first, so I can relate...

If you care about the woman you are with, don’t worry, it will come naturally. She will know whether you care about her or just yourself and that’s the only thing that counts.

And don’t forget to always have a condom with you. Sometimes it happens a lot faster than you would expect

I am pretty much in your same boat, Dadchats. My STBXW was my one and only, 17 year marriage, then about five years ago, the bedroom dried up pretty much overnight. I was told it was just my head, we were having just as much sex as before, but then it dwindled to once a week, once every two weeks, then once a month. In 2018, we had sex only 12 times. In 2019, we had sex 4 times before she cut me off entirely in June. We separated when her affair was outed in August. I went just over a year before I slept with anyone else.

My girlfriend is now my #2. She is 100% different from my ex in her body type. I was so nervous that, the first time, I didn't finish, despite having a blast. We fooled around for a few hours, my GF definitely got hers, but for me, the anxiety kicked in and I was, lacking a better term, pushing rope.

But since then, my gf has been an incredibly generous lover, attentive, responsive, and just awesome. She finds me incredibly attractive, which really helps boost my confidence, and I am attracted to her as well, which makes her respond as well. Every time I go to meet her, it's all we can do to not just dive straight into bed with each other. It took once or twice, but the worry and anxiety and unsurety evaporated fast. Now, I've had sex more times in the last month than I did in the last two years. It's exhausting but amazing.

The best advice I can offer is that communication, honesty, and attention are key. Make sure you are as generous a lover as you want your partner to be, and realize that they probably have some insecurities as well. My gf is a bigger girl, and she is super self conscious about her weight. I make sure that I show her absolutely how much I adore having her body under my control, and when she takes the lead, I make sure I am vocal and expressive about how much I enjoy what she is doing. It has helped both of us, I think.

[This message edited by Incarnate at 4:05 PM, July 24th (Friday)]

Dadchats you are worrying about something you don't need to worry about. If you meet a nice willing lady then just let nature take its course. If you want an in-depth emotional connection, then demand that first and sidestep the one night stands.

I see this one woman about once a week or so. She is not a girlfriend, but just a good friend who I like to hang out with and we just happen to have sex when we want to. I don't pressure her and she doesn't have any expectations of me. The first time we had sex I was nervous because my WW had humiliated me so badly with her serial cheating. Well, lo and behold the sex was awesome, and she even complimented my on my prowess. Prowess was something I didn't know I had. It was a huge self-esteem boost, and I'm glad I went through with it.

Only you can know if having sex with someone right now is what you should do. Think hard on it. And don't be afraid. You'll rise to the occasion when the call comes.