SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Welcome to the 21st century? Or to heterosexual women? either way, welcome!

Absolutely!

[This message edited by countrydirt at 9:03 PM, Wednesday, November 17th]

I made a pretty big decision last night (subject to change of course). I can retire next December after my 59th birthday. Education is so difficult right now and although I am still enjoying my students, I think that it is time. I visited a bit with my principal so he is aware.

One of my favorite substitute teachers passed away this month with Covid complications. That helped me realize that it is time. I'm still young enough to do things and well, I want to be able to be a bit more flexible with my life and location.

Another step forward with my teacher friend. We're both on Thanksgiving break, so have had plenty of time to be together and have really enjoyed each other's company. Last weekend she invited me to tag along to a Friendsgiving and we had a wonderful time and she later told me that I passed the "friends" test and they all approve! Last night we went out with another group of friends to hear some music and ended up laughing for hours.

She told me that she had gotten into a disagreement with her oldest son over the phone. He lives in another state (the same one where his father lives) and has been struggling as he moved into a new apartment. She discovered that he doesn't have a bed and sleeps in a recliner. So, she went into "mom" mode and was trying to figure out how to get him a bed and suggested that maybe he could call his father and ask the ex to contact her so they could make some arrangements. Her son acted like she was using him to reconnect with her ex and became angry. So, she told him, "I don't want to really have anything to do with your dad. I'm dating someone now and I really like him! And I just want you to have a bed." That took the argument completely away and her and the son ended up with a nice conversation.

My son and I have been planning to drive to my parents' house to celebrate Thanksgiving with the whole family. I extended the invitation to her to come along. You may recall that I mentioned earlier that while I like a little bit of a plan, she prefers to sort of move along a little more spur of the moment. Last night she asked me if the invitation was still open so now she gets to meet my entire loud and happy family!

So onward! You all have a blessed and peaceful Thanksgiving!

Our community has a First Friday Art Walk each month. Our first evening get together back in May was at an art gallery, so teacher friend and I thought it would be a good thing to recreate and went to a couple of galleries where we saw some friends and I saw some students of mine and then walked the street and riverwalk arm in arm for a few minutes. Then off to a very small venue to listen to music and visit a bit. We had a corner table and enjoyed each other's company.

She quizzed me about my family she met at Thanksgiving and tried to clarify which nephew belonged to which brother and how all of us could look so much alike (strong inherited appearance genetics from Grandmother!) and then regaled me with a text conversation with her niece who was trying to figure out who her aunt was dating. She told her niece she objects to the term "dating" at her age, but admitted to her niece that she is "seeing" someone.

At the end of the music, a much younger friend of hers came over and said hello and said she would have said hi earlier, but she thought my friend was busy "getting her thang on!" We laughed over that one for sure.

In our community, you really can't tell that the pandemic is a thing on most evenings. The staff in most businesses are masked up, but beyond short staffing at restaurants and the like, life seems normal. Huge crowds out. It's only during the day, when students and staff at school are masked that the pandemic seems like a deal.

Today she is going to a fashion show and I am going for a mountain bike ride. Life is good.

Another fun 24 hours. My bike ride was awesome - a little over an hour of single track fun. Mountain biking has been my most effective therapy over the past 18 months or so. Teacher friend and I exchanged a few texts throughout the day. Late in the day, she asked if I would come over to a friend's house for a bit so I did. Several were mutual friends and they teased us about being boyfriend and girlfriend. We laughed. We returned to our own houses after.

This morning we decided to meet for coffee but turned it into breakfast before we both got on the "school prep" that is common for Sundays. She said she was buying! So I let her. We agreed that we like how "us" is developing. It's just so comfortable for both of us.

Something odd has come up in this relationship. Teacher was friends with Adventure Girl, from my previous thread about new beginnings. Adventure Girl texted Teacher yesterday asking her to lunch, after no contact for quite a few months, in fact the last contact was AG telling Teacher that they would no longer be friends.

I fear that AG will always be between Teacher and I. So, I think I just need to let this one go. I'll be sad about it, but I think it is bigger than we can contend with.

Darn.

I fear that AG will always be between Teacher and I. So, I think I just need to let this one go. I'll be sad about it, but I think it is bigger than we can contend with.

Is AG and Teacher having a relationship a deal breaker for you? I mean it has to cause some uncomfortableness but I wouldn't think it'd be a deal breaker. Is Teacher prioritizing friendship with AG over your relationship? Because unless one of those is true I don't seeing it meaning your time with Teacher has to end.

Is AG and Teacher having a relationship a deal breaker for you? I mean it has to cause some uncomfortableness but I wouldn't think it'd be a deal breaker. Is Teacher prioritizing friendship with AG over your relationship? Because unless one of those is true I don't seeing it meaning your time with Teacher has to end.

No, it's more that Teacher feels somewhat "threatened" by the previous relationship that AG and I had. AG is 20 years younger and very athletic. Teacher is amazing and active and beautiful in her own way, just with a few more miles. Ironically, AG, when she and I were just becoming friends, thought I should date Teacher. So it is somewhat of an elephant in the room.

Why did AG tell teacher they wouldn't be friends anymore? And why the change of heart, now?

Has teacher always known you had a relationship with AG? If so, why has it suddenly gotten weird?

If AG reaching out (after ending their friendship!) Is what's making things weird, don't you think that's her problem and not yours and teacher's?

[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 12:15 AM, Friday, December 10th]

Has teacher always known you had a relationship with AG? If so, why has it suddenly gotten weird?

If AG reaching out (after ending their friendship!) Is what's making things weird, don't you think that's her problem and not yours and teacher's?

WhoTheBleep - absolutely this is what it is. AG told teacher that she could no longer be friends because Teacher and I were seeing each other - I thought it seemed pretty middle schoolish instead of middle aged.

Teacher and I spent some time this morning talking about it. AG and I were friends and Teacher actually asked AG about me once and AG told her I was a perfect gentleman. Teacher has always been aware that AG and I ended up in a relationship and that has contributed to us taking it pretty slowly.

I live in a small city - 150,000 population or so - but there is a pretty small town gossipy feel about it. When I got to Teacher's house this morning, I told her that I feared AG would be a sticking point in our relationship and wasn't sure how to deal with that, other than to tell her what I've already told her about the relationship.

She smiled and Teacher told me that she knew what AG wanted to talk about and then told me what she had heard from another mutual friend related to the end of AG and my relationship, which turned out to be pretty close to accurate, with a couple of key details either omitted or flat out being falsehoods.

Teacher said that she would talk to AG on the phone, but doesn't really want to see her and doesn't think anything that AG tells her will change how she feels about me. Her exact words to me were, "You don't have to worry about AG. I know what she is going to say and I don't care." She then went on to tell me more about her friendship with AG in the past and how she 'counseled' a previous boyfriend of AG on how to deal with someone who turned out to be pretty manipulative and how the boyfriend finally had enough and had to walk away to protect himself. I can relate to that.

So, I'm just going to continue to be as authentic as I can be. We're going to a concert tonight so will have a couple of hours in the car to continue to talk and continue to open our lives and hearts up a bit more.

The end of the semester is stressful. Finals, wrapping up fund raisers, entering grades plus crazy windy weather and selling a house all at the same time makes for an interesting life. Teacher actually had a day off of school (not work) because of the wind and power outages, but I wrapped up my day around 4.

Ironically, our fundraiser is fruit sales and 1 of my students sold to my ex-wife, but didn't know how to deliver it to her since her school let out early, so I took the fruit and drove to her house. Normally, XW and I communicate via text, but I was driving, so I called to let her know I was delivering the fruit. That was the first "conversation" we've had that wasn't related to selling the house in months. Anyway, dropped the fruit off, she invited me to sit down, but I told her I had other fruit to deliver so we had an awkward, "Well, Merry Christmas then" and away I went.

Later, Teacher sent a text asking if I was done and I responded yes. She, on the other hand, still had plenty to do, but I went over to her place anyway for a little mental health break for her and a hug or two for me. We sat on her sofa and snuggled and watched the news and visited. She still has to go to school today and still had grading to do, so I left after only about 45 minutes. I mentioned as I was leaving that I could just sit on the couch with her for hours and she said, "Well, we know where that would end up and then I wouldn't get any work done!"

Funny how things can change in relationships so quickly.

Sounds to me like you and teacher are going to get through any AG awkwardness. Personally, I don't think the whole situation is a big deal, and I think the other posters were inclined to feel the same way.

It's hard to meet quality people in this world that we connect with so easily. Take it slow, and keep the pressure light, but I wouldn't let her get away. Have fun!

[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 12:38 AM, Saturday, December 18th]

@WhoTheBleep - you are exactly right. It was just a little bump on the way.

Last night we went to the movies. I think the last time I went to the movies was to take my now 18 year old for his 10th birthday so it felt like a new adventure. Neither of us were that thrilled with the selection of cartoony action flics out right now, so watched West Side Story and really enjoyed it - since it was the first night of Christmas Break in our town, the theater was packed, but not for the only "serious" film playing - I think there were 12 people total in our viewing.

We were going to find some music after and drove around town and found one of our favorites in a new venue, but it was just too loud with the crazy drinking crowd, so we waved goodbye to the musician and headed over to her house and enjoyed the Christmas lights along the way. On the drive, I told her how good it felt when she laid her head on my shoulder during the movie and she thought that was interesting.

After Christmas, we are going to go visit my sister and brother in law in the city where we all went to college (had I mentioned that we are alumni of the same university?). Teacher hasn't been back there since maybe 1981 or 1982, so it will be a shock for her. She and my sister hit it off really well at Thanksgiving.

Another good day. Teacher asked if I could help her go to another friend's house and pick up a bookshelf. She has a small SUV and I have a pickup. So we had a nice 45 minute drive to a small town south of us and we loaded up the shelf and after a short visit with her friend, we headed back toward our town. We were pretty enthralled by the mountain scenery and recalled our last drive there when the mountain colors were at a peak in October. We stopped for a late lunch at a small town eatery and then headed back to her house.

We were both a little worried if we could get this large shelf into her house and into the room she wanted it in without help, but after we got to her house, we looked it over, measured a few things and I called my 18 year old son and asked if he and a friend or two could come over and help. Of course he said they would be over in a bit.

It was great to have a couple of strapping young men help and we were able to move it into the house and into the room where she wanted it in just a few minutes. She gave them some money and asked them to stay and eat. I went to pick up some take out and the boys stayed with her while I went. I came back to find them laughing and enjoying a nice visit. They told her about their girl problems and she assured them that dating anytime in life could be both fun and complicated.

After the boys left, she said, "I love your son and his friend! Can I adopt them?" Her son was not much older than them when he passed away, so she has a fondness for "boys" of that age. My son really likes her.

We ended up going out for a drive to see Christmas lights and ended up in the neighborhood where she grew up, so we drove down many streets and she showed me the houses of many of her friends and classmates and relatives. After the drive, we went to our Riverwalk and had a stroll and enjoyed the lights and walking arm in arm.

While driving back to her house, we agreed that both of us had evening things to do alone - calls to family members, quiet relaxing alone, etc. So at the end of the evening, I walked her into her house, gave her a smooch or 3 and headed home.

We had a wonderful day.

[This message edited by countrydirt at 5:26 AM, Monday, December 20th]

CD

While you may not be getting many responses to your updates, please know you have at least one avid reader. I really enjoy reading your updates so keep ‘em coming!

Very happy to hear how things are developing between the two of you.

Thanks ff4152. We all know how difficult it is to get out and try to have any kind of relationship, romantic or not, or to even just get out in the world after the devastation of infidelity. I'm in a good place right now and hope my tales can be of encouragement for others.

[This message edited by countrydirt at 5:45 PM, Monday, December 20th]

please know you have at least one avid reader. I really enjoy reading your updates so keep ‘em coming!

I'll echo this. Countrydirt's threads are my "Hallmark Channel" of SI. CD, there is an easy way about your writing, and I find myself wanting to sip tea and eat a scone on a fluffy chair while I read your posts. I'm glad things are going well for you and teacher.

Even if I don't post on all of your updates, I am reading them, like ff4152. Your threads are like a personal journal that you let us all read. Thank you for this! And I can tell you enjoy writing them.

[This message edited by WhoTheBleep at 2:20 AM, Thursday, December 23rd]

I'll echo this. Countrydirt's threads are my "Hallmark Channel" of SI. CD, there is an easy way about your writing, and I find myself wanting to sip tea and eat a scone on a fluffy chair while I read your posts. I'm glad things are going well for you and teacher.

Even if I don't post on all of your updates, I am reading them, like ff4152. Your threads are like a personal journal that you let us all read. Thank you for this! And I can tell you enjoy writing them.

Thank you WhoTheBleep! I truly appreciate it!

Teacher and I are apart right now. She is visiting her son, who she hasn't seen for 3 years, and I'm just back home from a family Christmas at my parent's home. My son and I had a great time with some family. I saw my favorite (actually only) niece for the first time in about 3 years. And son and I explored a little natural wonder for a short hike and I enjoyed being a passenger with a teen driver (he's my best driving son) and then had a great time with my parents and brother and niece on Christmas Eve and the Christmas brunch with another brother and wife and friends. But it is good to be back in my own home and relaxing.

Merry Christmas to all!!

I'll echo the earlier sentiments. I really enjoy reading your adventures in dating, and I'm glad to read that you're meeting a lot of quality people and having a great time. Congratulations, Sir!

Yesterday I picked up Teacher at the airport from her trip and took her to her house. I said, "I know you must be tired from your trip, so I won't stay long." Her response, "I sat in a plane for 2 hours, I'm not tired, I'd like you to stay." So I did. We ended up going out for dinner (I'm dense, but I understand that when a lady asks if you are hungry, that means she is hungry, so out we went!). After dinner, I didn't stay long as she actually was tired.

Today I drove to the mountains for a couple of hours of skiing - lots of snow, lots of wind and I had fun and talked to people in the lift lines and on the chairlifts. Apparently talking to people isn't as scary as I used to make it out to be. I ended up making it home by about 5.

This evening she invited me over for homemade soup. Who could pass that up? When she let me in, her little dog barked at me, like always, but Teacher just took my breath away with her beauty and I told her that. She smiled and punched me on the arm. Don't worry, she's a little thing and her punches aren't very devastating.

I served as her sous chef as she worked on the soup. Her little dog was angling for some of the fancy food she gets every evening, so teacher got it out and made up the bowl, but was then distracted by the soup and didn't put it down for little Mollie. No worries, CD to the rescue and then little Mollie thought I was the sh*t and started begging me for treats!

All in all it was a very nice evening and the soup turned out good. "Dessert" was even better! We both continue to just be amazed by the way things are going in that part of the relationship.

Tomorrow night we are going out with my best friend and her fiance (just recently engaged!) and are looking forward to spending an evening out with others. A couple of months ago, teacher and I were going to meet at a local restaurant and she was running a bit late. Saw my best friend and her sister come in so went and greeted them and sat with them while I waited for Teacher. When teacher arrived, I introduced her all around, then gave my best friend (who is female and gay) a hug and we headed for our table. Teacher said, "I don't know why you aren't dating her!" in sort of a hurt voice. My response, "Well, first off, she doesn't really like men since she's gay." We laughed and went on with another nice evening.

[This message edited by countrydirt at 6:46 AM, Wednesday, December 29th]