hopefulforlife ( member #33645) posted at 7:10 AM on Friday, February 3rd, 2012
Bump... for all new people.
I wish I had read this earlier... I wish I had understood all this earlier...
Learn from mistakes and keep working on self as there is no end to learning and improving!!
BaxtersBFF ( member #26859) posted at 2:21 PM on Sunday, February 5th, 2012
GullibleGirl ( member #33580) posted at 8:57 PM on Tuesday, February 21st, 2012
Bumped for Lud22. Hope this helps!
Me-FWW-53 He-BH-55
No kids/M 29yrs/D-Day: 4/20/11
hurting7897 ( member #34761) posted at 5:17 AM on Wednesday, February 22nd, 2012
WOW!!!! I can't say "thank you" enough for this amazing post!! I printed it out to show my WS. It's only been 3 weeks since I discovered his ONC and subsequent betrayal, and I find him getting annoyed that I'm not "over it" yet. He's remorseful, he says over and over how sorry he is, etc., but just yesterday I looked at his phone records and found out he lied about the texts to and from the OW. He was furious with me. Reading this makes me realize why we're not getting anywhere. He may be sorry, he may be wanting R more than anything, but he's not doing enough to rebuild my trust.
Thank you so so much again. You have truly helped me so much.
Married 20 years
Me-BS-51
Him-FWH-46 "healing4us2"
2 kids, DD 12 and DS 16
D-day #1 Jan. 30,2012
D-day #2 April 12, 2012
D-day #3 April 15, 2012
June 24, 2012--Decided to R.
January 21, 2013-Forgave him! Life is sweet
May 4, 2015--T
BrokenLadyInMs ( member #34897) posted at 10:08 PM on Tuesday, February 28th, 2012
Hurting7897, I hear where you are coming from. Sounds like he IS sorry - sorry he got caught.
I know the feeling. Hang in there, today's dust and tomorrow is on the way.
Me 56 WSO (Significant Other)58
Together 26 years
Living together 6 years
DDay 5/13/11
In R, but could be better
"How can a love that'll last forever get left so far behind?"
silverhopes ( member #32753) posted at 12:01 AM on Thursday, March 8th, 2012
Aut viam inveniam aut faciam.
Fathful123 ( member #34867) posted at 4:01 AM on Friday, March 9th, 2012
Thank you! My FWH is away on a business trip. I just emailed it to him and asked him to read it before he comes home.
This hits on sooo many areas. Very good.
DDay-7/11/2011
Me(51)
WS(54)with ED!!!!
OW- 49, big manly looking, Amazon looking Ho ; works with federal government but in different state
Several EAs and one oovoo recorded masturbation chat!
We have been Married 18 years
3 kids youngest 17
Nightfall ( member #34954) posted at 4:18 PM on Monday, March 12th, 2012
Made me cry :( Thanks for this, have sent it on to WH.
me-BS 28
him-fWS 38
Together: 8 years Married: 4 years
D Day 1: June 2007 First A
D Day 2: July 2011 LTA of 2 years
In R
hardlessons ( member #35025) posted at 2:17 AM on Tuesday, March 13th, 2012
Thanks for reposting this. It is helping to let me know what/how to respond and do. I recognize the steps my wife tried with me. Hopefully she is more receptive than i was.
Me WH
Wife Tired Girl
3 adult sons
"a wayward...annnnd just a tad betrayed."
BaxtersBFF ( member #26859) posted at 3:10 AM on Tuesday, March 13th, 2012
GullibleGirl ( member #33580) posted at 6:39 PM on Friday, March 16th, 2012
Me-FWW-53 He-BH-55
No kids/M 29yrs/D-Day: 4/20/11
klynn ( member #31825) posted at 3:14 AM on Saturday, March 17th, 2012
Thank you! This made me cry...good tears. You "get" it!
Klynn
Me: BW (36)
Him: WH (37)
Married 10 years Together 13 years
2 children 8, 5
D-Day 11.29.10
Trying to R
SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 12:17 AM on Tuesday, April 3rd, 2012
bumped for BUSYBEE1975. 
BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
stilllovingher ( member #29959) posted at 1:36 AM on Saturday, April 14th, 2012
back to the top 
The only difference between a butt kisser and a brown noser is depth perception.
I'm sure WAL would agree.
hardlessons ( member #35025) posted at 3:30 AM on Friday, May 18th, 2012
Bump it up.
This was/is invaluable to a new WS IMO
Me WH
Wife Tired Girl
3 adult sons
"a wayward...annnnd just a tad betrayed."
La Traviata ( member #14941) posted at 4:34 PM on Friday, May 18th, 2012
I just printed it out and annotated it with lots of underlining and arrows and exclamation points. I changed the title to "GUIDE TO THE CARE AND FEEDING OF YOUR NEW TRAVIATA"
I see WH on Sunday and I will give it to him then. I think he'll like it since it addresses a lot of his "why is she doing/feeling/saying this?" frustrations.
me: BW 31
him: WH, 29
DDay: 4/16/12
RelapseDay:4/15/13
A year of false R. I grew and worked, he didn't. He took off his wedding ring during an alcoholic relapse, I packed and left the next day. I went back 8 weeks later, working hard
NorthernGirl888 ( member #35372) posted at 4:50 PM on Friday, May 18th, 2012
Me - 42 MH
Him - 48 Serial Cheater
Most recent D-Day- Feb 2016
SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 2:17 PM on Wednesday, May 30th, 2012
bumped for NobleCause
BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
La Traviata ( member #14941) posted at 10:19 PM on Thursday, May 31st, 2012
This went over GREAT with WH. It's improved our communication so much. In fact, his therapist asked me to print off a copy for him so he could share it with other patients. He's doing the apologies regularly and it really does help. I think it would be useful to put it in the Healing Library.
me: BW 31
him: WH, 29
DDay: 4/16/12
RelapseDay:4/15/13
A year of false R. I grew and worked, he didn't. He took off his wedding ring during an alcoholic relapse, I packed and left the next day. I went back 8 weeks later, working hard
mesoSTUPID ( member #35679) posted at 3:13 AM on Friday, June 1st, 2012
Thank you to everyone who continued to BUMP this. I sent it to my WH because he's been asking for more information. This is I feel the best piece of this forum I could ever send him for us.
ME (BS): 41 and so stupid!
Him (WH): 43. He's my dragon slayer but my heart wasn't supposed to be slayed!
