kaylee711 ( member #44435) posted at 11:16 AM on Monday, August 11th, 2014
As a BS, I'm having the hardest time with the confusion aspect - you hit the nail right on the head - even though my happy-sad-angy-happy-super angry-sleepy-forgetfulness is way off the charts, I am comforted to know that there's no shame as BS feeling this:
CONFUSION: They’re disoriented. They can’t think straight. They become impatient, disorganized and forgetful. More frequently than usual they go to a room to retrieve something, but once they get there they can’t remember what it was. This is very upsetting to them. Bear with them. Be gentle and be helpful. Help them find their misplaced purse or locate their lost keys. Know that they will eventually come out of the fog. Also be aware that their confusion, as with other states listed here, may be set off or magnified by certain “triggers.” (Note: Read more about “triggers” below.)
Headunderwater ( new member #44484) posted at 9:07 PM on Tuesday, August 12th, 2014
Thank you for posting this even if it wasn't as reassuring as I thought. after reading this it actually became more apparent to me that R may not be an option for me and my WS. reading through these thing they all seem like great advice and things that would go a long way into healing us but unfortunately they are not things that I could see my wife actually doing...
sarahstar ( member #43889) posted at 10:59 AM on Friday, August 15th, 2014
thankyou for posting this
remorsefulww ( member #42029) posted at 4:06 PM on Saturday, August 16th, 2014
DD 1 2009 EA/PA, DD 2 2014, broke nc 2015.All the same AP
His DD 9/16/2015 ONS & EA,PA with coworker.
Mad Hatters
WW/BW Me
BH/WHJSG1
SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 1:06 AM on Friday, August 22nd, 2014
BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
trying22 ( member #44592) posted at 4:25 PM on Friday, August 22nd, 2014
As the BS this post validated what I'm feeling and made me feel less crazy. Ps I loved that at one post said do not call them 'crazy' or 'irrational'. It's so true I hate these words because he has no idea the pain I feel. He can try to understand and relate but in the end he really can't.. And I'm not crazy and it hurts to hear him call me that.. I start to believe him and think that I'm somehow fucked up in my thinking and the problem is me..
SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 8:35 PM on Friday, September 5th, 2014
BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
AceKnight ( new member #39832) posted at 4:01 PM on Sunday, September 7th, 2014
My BS showed this post to me last night, and I have just printed it out as a guide to help me with any attempt at R that can possibly happen.
I feel extremely hopeless at times because I cannot get things perfectly right when it needs to be perfect.
Thanks for being willing to share what hope there is!
Sparkle0504 ( member #40379) posted at 10:29 AM on Wednesday, September 17th, 2014
Me 52 (BS) Him 60 (EXSAWH)
DDay (too many to mention), but 1st 06/2011
I'm done. Separated.
Time is always right, to do right. (Dr Martin Luther King)
5454real ( member #37455) posted at 5:15 AM on Saturday, September 20th, 2014
BH 58, WW 49
DS 31(Mine),SD 29,SS 28(Hers),DS 16 Ours, DGS 11, DGD 8, DGS 3
D=Day #1 5/04EA (Rugswept)
D-Day #2 3/10/12, TT til 3/13/12
Married 13yrs
"I have no love for a friend who loves in words alone."
― Sophocle
SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 3:51 PM on Sunday, October 12th, 2014
BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
RKT429SS ( member #28883) posted at 12:49 AM on Saturday, October 18th, 2014
Me - BS 38
Her - WS 37
MOM - coworker,with 2 kids, EA&PA approx. 6 mo
Us Married 10 yrs (together 15 yrs)
1 girl, 1 boy
DDay 3.15.2010
Working on R
BtraydWife ( member #42581) posted at 4:03 PM on Friday, November 14th, 2014
Regret44 ( member #45384) posted at 4:06 PM on Friday, November 14th, 2014
Macsecond ( member #43972) posted at 9:44 PM on Tuesday, December 9th, 2014
Me - WW (42)
Him - BH (40)
Married 18 years.
2 amazing daughters (DD10 and DD6)
DDay - July 4, 2014 (I confessed to 5 month OEA)
sarahstar ( member #43889) posted at 12:25 AM on Wednesday, December 10th, 2014
singingtheblues ( new member #45085) posted at 1:43 AM on Wednesday, December 10th, 2014
Giving this the bump... Exactly the refresher this WH needed...
Me: WS, 45.
Wife: BS, 44.
Married 11 years
DD1: 10/4/12 (admitted EA, lied about PA).
DD2: 8/18/14 (PA discovered).
2 children: 10 (boy) 7 (girl)
rwhitephd ( member #45775) posted at 8:58 PM on Saturday, December 13th, 2014
I am so glad I printed this out. Also printed How To Help Your Spouse Heal From Your Affair. Been pouring over both...so many thanks for posting this!!!
Me: WSO (50; 3 kids: son 24, son 16, daughter 14)
Her: BSO (52; 2 kids: daughter 25, son, 21)
together since March, 2013. We're not married, but it feels like a M.
D-Day: 11/7/14
Working towards R?
SisterMilkshake ( member #30024) posted at 4:07 PM on Sunday, January 4th, 2015
*bump* for Mr. and Mrs. Incarnate.
BW (me) & FWH both over half a century; married several decades; children
d-day 3/10; LTA (7 years?)
"Oh, why do my actions have consequences?" ~ Homer Simpson
"She knew my one weakness: That I'm weak." ~ Homer Simpson
Incarnate ( member #46085) posted at 1:36 PM on Monday, January 5th, 2015
Copied original post in its entirety and sent it to my wife... she doesn't take suggestion well at all. We'll see what happens. -hopeful-
Me: BH
She: EW
Divorce in progress
DD1: 11/29/14
DD2: 8/14/19
What a wicked game we play.
