Topic is Sleeping.
buckeyegirl13 (original poster new member #78665) posted at 4:37 PM on Friday, May 7th, 2021
Pros and cons of a trial separation after multiple As
Darkness Falls ( member #27879) posted at 4:47 PM on Friday, May 7th, 2021
Married -> I cheated -> We divorced -> We remarried -> Had two kids -> Now we’re miserable again
Staying together for the kids
D-day 2010
buckeyegirl13 (original poster new member #78665) posted at 4:53 PM on Friday, May 7th, 2021
To help mend a broken marriage, and get to a somewhat better place
stubbornft ( member #49614) posted at 4:57 PM on Friday, May 7th, 2021
Are you suggesting it or your BS?
Me: BS 40 Him: WS 51 He cheated with massage parlor sex workersDday 01/19/2021
Kicked him out in 2021 - life is better on the other side. Moved on with the help of a wonderful therapist.
buckeyegirl13 (original poster new member #78665) posted at 4:59 PM on Friday, May 7th, 2021
I am, Im just trying to figure out what all I can do to help bring us back together
stubbornft ( member #49614) posted at 5:09 PM on Friday, May 7th, 2021
Oh God, I would not suggest it. If he suggests it then you should do what he needs but I can't imagine a WS suggesting it would go over well at all. I am sure it would make him feel abandoned.
Me: BS 40 Him: WS 51 He cheated with massage parlor sex workersDday 01/19/2021
Kicked him out in 2021 - life is better on the other side. Moved on with the help of a wonderful therapist.
LifeDestroyer ( member #71163) posted at 5:50 PM on Friday, May 7th, 2021
Do NOT suggest it! If he brings it up, then you tell him you will do whatever makes him comfortable and will do it if that is what he needs. He will absolutely feel like you are throwing in the towel if you suggest it.
Maybe today can be a good day, and if today can be a good day, then maybe tomorrow can be too.
We might be broken and imperfect, but we still have worth and value.
As hard as it is to feel pain, it's much harder to feel nothing.
landclark ( member #70659) posted at 7:07 PM on Friday, May 7th, 2021
Just speaking from a betrayed side. A trial separation is something you should absolutely support if that's what your spouse/partner asks for. If they ask for NC, give NC. Respect any boundaries they put into place.
That said, I will say that if my WH had suggested it right out of the gate, it would not have gone over well with me at all. I also think if it had happened, we would not still be together today. I would never have been able to trust that he wasn't just running out cheating while apart. It would have ended any chance at R for me.
On the flip side, I probably could have used the mental break in some way, maybe not a complete separation, but some sort of break from my WH. It is hard to do that in the same house.
It really feels like a no-win situation all around, to be honest.
But that is 100% just me. Just putting it out there as food for thought.
Me: BW Him: WH (GuiltAndShame) Dday 05/19/19 TT through August
One child together, 3 stepchildrenTogether 13.5 years, married 12.5
First EA 4 months into marriage. Last ended 05/19/19. *ETA, contd an ea after dday for 2 yrs.
Topic is Sleeping.
