SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I had something happen to me recently and was wondering if anyone else had a similar experience and what their reaction was.

I was on Facebook recently and this guy pops up as a friend suggestion. He has a name very similar to a celebrity so I start browsing this thread. I don’t know the guy, never met or spoken to him in my life and we have no mutual friends in common. Well he posted a campfire video and I decide to watch it. At the end of this video, the camera turns left and who should be sitting next to him but my AP!

As I looked/listened and it was a very strange experience. Of course I knew who she was but it felt like I was looking at a stranger. Does that make any sense? She more or less look the same except she gained a lot of weight. But I felt absolutely nothing.

I again was left with WTF echoing in my head. I don't think I will ever figure out what made her so appealing that I would risk losing my marriage .

If something like the above happened to you, what was your reaction?

I had a similar experience...only it was with my 1st H. We were in the same building...several years after we were duvorced. I felt like he was a stranger to me...it was very surreal. Here was a man I "saved" myself for...who I had a child with...who I bought my first home with. I knew in my head that I once loved ONLY him...but I honestly felt NOTHING.

I have heard how the dopamine levels for any nee relationship are similar...but they do dissipate. My 1st H and I weren't together long enough for the other feel good hormones to kick in...so I have often wondered if this feeling is what happens when adultery co-conspirators are apart? What you describe is what I felt for my 1st H after seeing him again years later.

Years ago when the LTA was in full force before any DDays, I met LTAP once.

WH was singing [he's a frontman for a local band with some level of success in our area and surrounding ones]. I went - one of the first time our then young teen had plans that coordinated with a gig and I wasn't driving carpool or hosting the sleepover.

I sat alone and watched him. There was a table farther back with a group. Some I'd even met a few times, one woman I hadn't. There were extra chairs. I was never asked to join. I thought it odd to leave one person sitting alone [I'd never do that]. I even went up a few times to chit chat during breaks. I was met with ice. I introduced myself to the woman I didn't know. I tried basic getting to know you chit chat that was met with one word clipped answers. I complimented her necklace thinking that may break the ice - nope, just smile and nod. I even thanked her for coming. Someone in the group said something about how I could do it - being his wife behind the scenes. I mentioned to everyone at the table, that I loved WH, was secure enough in myself AND knew that [insert suggestive wink here] that he was coming home to me. And for the rest of the night I sat alone wondering why I was getting such an icy reception from that table.

That night in the parking lot, WH told me he'd never seen me look more beautiful.

That woman that gave off the icy vibes - that was non receptive - that was a flat out bitch - THAT was LTAP.

That night still haunts me.

If you felt absolutely nothing, that's good!

I'm still limerent for my ex-AP, so if saw something like that, not sure how I would feel.

Jealousy maybe?

I run into my AP last year at a store. I don’t think he saw me. Maybe he did. I don’t know. I was getting ready to check out and I looked over and there he was. I got into line to check out and get the hell out of there. I just remember feeling nothing when I saw him. But I knew I needed to tell my H about it. After almost 5 years since dday and up until that point I never saw him. I wonder why now? Never seen him again. I think I was afraid of him seeing me and wanted to talk to me. By the time I checked out he was not around anymore.