SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Last time WH knew I came on here on SI for support. Although we agreed to stay off each other's threads I was certain at times he'd read some.

He is way more internet and tech-savvy than me. Last time it was the other around which is how I found out originally.

After our last conversation several days ago (which went pretty constructively), he went back to his sisters and shared 2 google docs with me. One was a budget we discussed and the other was a private online journal he had kept for the last four years.

It was pretty much exclusively about me. It was vitriolic, bitter, and had a fairly big component of self-pity. It was a very gut-wrenching hurtful read. I had no idea he hated and despised me so much. There were some truths that I need to work on but most was just spite, retelling the story with him as the victim, and portraying himself as being married to a woman no one would want to know. Heck, why he wanted to stay married believing that is unreal.

I emailed to ask him why he would share such a destructive document with me, it seemed so spiteful and designed to really hurt me. His response was

Hi AVW, I didn't realise I had shared that with you. I am so sorry that you read the content there. Please, it was never meant to be read by anyone else.

So he maintained it was an accident, I believed him. But when I explained the situation to my sons, they both scoffed and said you can't accidentally share a google document with someone. I went on my own google drive to see how to do it, and I can't see how you would do it inadvertently either. WH uses google pretty exclusively. He runs a blog, writes books, etc I want to believe WH wouldn't do something so calculatingly cruel. But I have to retain the possibility he did.

If it was deliberate, something must have set him off. It was within 4 hours of our constructive conversation. I guess he may have already been back on google hangouts with mOW (that would make one day of NC ) but the other possibility is he read my post. I wondered if it would be best to delete my profile and ask admin to make me another in a few weeks. What are my options?

[This message edited by avicarswife at 11:25 PM, Tuesday, February 1st]

You can actually pay for a name change that effectively locks your old username and starts you with a whole new one. You can start a thread asking for a mod and they can assist you.

Go to the Healing Library, then the FAQs. Read FAQ #7.

Thanks for that. I will push pause and just be vigilant about what I post. Our finances and credit cards will need to be separated first.

Hi AVW, I didn't realise I had shared that with you. I am so sorry that you read the content there. Please, it was never meant to be read by anyone else.

Notice he didn't really apologize or try to dissuade you from what his journal actually said. No, he was sorry that "you read the content." Basically sorry that he exposed himself.

As bleak as it sounds, that journal's probably the little - if not only - honesty you'll get from him. It's pretty much telling you who he really is.

Act accordingly. Time for a new profile.

[This message edited by Forks027 at 4:21 AM, Thursday, February 3rd]

Hi avicarswife,

I’m a super lurker here on SI and remember your WH. I’m not a psychiatrist but his behavior leads me to wonder if he isn’t mentally or emotionally disordered. As if his infidelity wasn’t bad enough, sending you his journal was downright cruel. It may be a good idea to change all of your online usernames and avoid using your home internet so he cannot read your internet history. I’m sorry for your continued heartache and wish you a full recovery.

As someone who has watched many cases on TV about ministers murdering their wives this does not surprise me. Your husband sounds very much like a dangerous person and I think the best way to do this is to just move as fast as you can straight ahead. You don’t have to come on here much unless you want to because the main thing you need to do is get away from him permanently. He sounds like a very mean man. To give you an idea of why I believe how bad he is is because a friend of mine’s stepson is a sociopath and he is minister.

[This message edited by Cooley2here at 12:21 AM, Sunday, February 6th]