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I must be an idiot... really. I block and I unblock just to block again story of my life post leaving the ex Narc.

The latest I unblocked due to having to discuss this years taxes. Well XWS proceeds to let me have it how now he finally sees that I'm a bitch and he blames me for EVERYTHING. The kid's issues since my leaving are because of me, our financial issues...me, everything me.

What is bad about this unwanted contact is it stays with me for like a week after it happens and I have to find my balance again. I just don't ever want to speak or hear from him again. How do I do this with future events if we both have to attend? This is such bullshit I am forever tied to this a-hole and it makes me crazy!

I have him blocked again until the next time he asks one of our kids for me to unblock him what a fucking childish situation this has become.

So sorry, CBS.

Nothing could ever be his fault, and you know he's never going to change. He's a great guy & doesn't need to change - all his issues are your fault.... F'ing narcs.

For future events, stay in opposite areas if you're able.

Don't have much advice, but can send you a virtual hug.

{{CBS}}

Thank you leafields, yes nothing is ever his fault he is a god to be worshipped by all so pathetic!

Get a third party to receive his email or text.

They filter and give you only the relevant info (like the tax info or specific request).

Then you respond to the 3rd party who forwards the response to him.

If you don’t give him an opportunity to get to you — you will be that much further removed from his rants.

He really hates himself // but just blames everyone else for his failures b/c yes, he’s that special 🤪

My friend was married to a true narc just like you. I’ve seen it for myself how truly awful these people are.

Get a third party to receive his email or text.

This is next for sure. I have enough proof of harassment from him my lawyer can put this in writing.

[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 9:50 PM, Wednesday, May 18th]

Divorced parents is not fun at all for the kids. Making sure that you are on speaking terms helps the kids out a ton. Understand that is not always possible and it takes two to make communication work, but you don't want the kids seeing the fighting, etc.

Use the Family Wizard app to communicate through. It saves all the messages and guess what, if he ever says anything stupid, its all right there and saved, you don't have to screen shot it or save separately. Its intended use is for this exact reason. Its for Divorced parents to message each other, and you can block his number completely. You communicate through this one app. if he ever comes down on you and calls you a bitch, you send that right to your attorney.

Its like this, you know how people behave differently when the camera's ON, vs when theres no camera? That's exactly what this is. He will be on notice every time he communicates on the app. Its court approved, so you are good to go.

I must be an idiot... really. I block and I unblock just to block again laugh story of my life post leaving the ex Narc.

In the nicest way possible, yes you are an idiot. I am similar.

Here is what I do:

1. I do not speak to my ex in person, if I can manage it at all.* If I am asked, my response is ready "On the advice of counsel, I refuse to communicate with you verbally."

2. All communication goes through a parenting app. I use OurFamilyWizard. It's okay, not great. But, it's good enough.

3. When I am around her in person, I treat her the same way that I would treat a ghost and I don't believe in ghosts. I basically act like she isn't there. I don't talk to her, I don't acknowledge her.

4. I have set up my life to avoid as much communication with her as possible.

Why do you need to talk to him about taxes? That seems like a situation that you could avoid... meaning, if it is truly unavoidable this year, then make sure that it's completely avoidable next year.

* The last time that I spoke to her in person was Thanksgiving 2020. She had found our daughter in a pool of vomit in her basement at 3am. She called an ambulance because DD15 was so drunk (BAC > 0.25%). I offered her a donut when I arrived at the hospital. She declined the donut but blamed me for DD15 being drunk during her parenting time while at her house. So, yes, I understand getting blamed for everything.