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So…Back in the hospital again. Sepsis and UTI again. More bad ass antibiotics. Blood pressure goes from scary low to scary high. People rushing around everywhere.

Finally in PCU. He is resting comfortably.

Me… Not so much.

No doctor visit yet. Wonder if I will get any more information about what is happening and exactly what it means.

[This message edited by WhatsRight at 6:24 PM, Monday, July 4th]

Sorry…dup post

[This message edited by WhatsRight at 6:25 PM, Monday, July 4th]

I'm sorry this is happening. Try your best to take care of yourself. Hugs.

Whatsright, I am so sorry and hope he improves quickly. Please take care of yourself!

So, the infectious disease doctor came in and helped my worried mind a little bit. She told me that there would be other options to treat his UTI if the one she was now giving him did not help. I think she picked up on my panicking and helped me lay some of my concerns to rest.

The best part of what she gave me was, at this point there is still much that can be done. So if this brings on the worst, at least it is later rather than sooner.

And I forget to mention… HAPPY FORTH OF JULY!

Whatsright, that is a good positive update. I hope you can get some rest!

Happy 4th to you. I'm not celebrating this year. I'm just trying to comfort my puppies who are SO afraid of the loud noises. Being out in the country, people go to extremes with fireworks.

We are in ICU now.

His BP just won’t go up. Stays in the 80s/40s.

They are giving him epinephrine to make his bp go up.

ICU certainly has changed. Looks just like the regular hospital room, just with every room closer to the desk.

Oh WR, how scary. I hope the epi works and gets his BP up.

Keep us posted?

(((WR)))

Scary night. Hope things are stabilizing.

Jeaniegirl…

Hope your puppies made it through the fireworks ok.

I can only imagine how mine are doing at home.

One of my babies is 13 yrs old. She starts to vibrate when the barometric pressure changes.

The 1 1/2 yr old is starting to be same way.

Then there is the 4 1/2 month old. She is just a bit of a laid back doofus. She probably slept through the whole thing.

I am sitting here rambling about my dogs. I’m just nervous I guess.

He expects you to continue to be his servant and you are all too willing. Stop. Stop waiting on him hand and foot. Bring in private duty help, or family to give you significant breaks. I mean more than a couple hours a week, I mean a whole day 2 days a week. Let him deal with someone else being his caregiver

What TushNurse said. You are doing so much and he isn’t responding how you want him to, so you are thinking "what can I do to make him eat/ live a more enjoyable life/ etc"

And you cant. Its on him. IC and pallative care like TushNurse said.

I totally appreciate the support from y’all.

But right now his life is in the balance. Even if he leaves the hospital- his prognosis is poor. Life span and quality of life greatly reduced.

I have chosen to be his caregiver. I would make the same decision again. I totally get that you may think me weak or codependent. But it is what I choose. I would be twice as miserable to abandon him. (My word ) It’s not only about helping him, but also about my self respect.

For 2/3 of our marriage he has pretty much sucked as a partner. True.

But all things considered, I want to be there for him. He broke his vows - I didn’t.

I hope this all means I can come here and vent away about what a scoundrel he is.

But I also hope I can stand by him during the end stages of his life and y’all will respect my decision.

I plan on getting educated regarding any ways my care for him will be stepped up. And if I need help, I plan to investigate that possibility.

Again you don’t know how much it means to me to have your support, your ear, and your compassion.

Anyway…septic shock is confirmed. He is still in ICU. Blood pressure vacillating between 58/37 to 210/175. New med now…Midodrine. That doesn’t need quite as much monitoring if I understand correctly. So maybe back to PCU tomorrow if it can get leveled out.

Thanks for all your kind words and support.

WR — it’s your life and we all respect your choices. We just hate seeing how hard you work and are concerned you are not getting enough help. So glad to hear you are going to look at the help you can get. You will be a better caretaker if you have time/energy to take care of yourself.

And glad things seem to be a little better in the hospital. And hope your pups made it through the fireworks. My cats were completely freaked out.

Oh my God!!!

I never even imagined what a cat’s reaction would be!

Thanks for your kind words, and for fretting over me! Makes me feel loved.

I totally believe you all have my best interests at heart. ❤️❤️❤️

I do want to tell you that I have already accepted the request to return to teaching ESL a couple of days a week starting in August. I’m going to tell the director about this latest setback for my H. But she is totally flexible regarding substitutes as long as I have a lesson plan. (Is she kidding? I’m OCD - you bet I have a lesson plan!)

My lady friends have also resumed (post Covid) our first Thursday dinner out together.

I guess I give y’all a slanted view of my life - harping on all the crap and leaving out the sweets!

Anyway, I’m feeling especially optimistic about things - even if there are unbearable times ahead.

Optimism is about state of mind - not state of circumstances.

Whatsright, I see you as a very STRONG woman and you are doing what your heart tells you to do. And that is the way it is. SO glad to hear you are going to return to teaching, even part time - AND your ladies group is getting together again.

You asked about my puppies and the 4th of July. They HATE the popping and loud noises. They try to stay where they are touching me at all times. I had to go to the grocery store for a quick run and when I got back, the Chi-Weenie had buried himself in the clothes hamper under clothes! They make quick potty run breaks outside but hurry back in. Thank goodness the noise is starting to slow down now. I can't take them with me for quick outings as there is a new state law that will fine doggie owners $500 per pet if you leave them in cars if the temp is over 80 degrees. I'm happy about that law.

They try to stay where they are touching me at all timesl

.

Excuuuuse meeee for not feeling sorry for this! ^^^^^

To me, there are few things in life as wonderful as puppies crawling all over you!!!!!!

Champs first 4th at our house. Neither of them are much bothered by fireworks which is a first. Champ even likes to watch.

[This message edited by grubs at 6:29 PM, Wednesday, July 6th]

Oh gosh, my dog HATES fireworks. She will bark for hours and tear around if I let her, but I always crate her until the fireworks are over. Nothing I've done really works but I did try pet CBD this year and it seemed to take the edge off a bit. I might not have given her enough. I've been told it's impossible to OD her on CBD so maybe I'll try more next time, poor pup.

Hope things are going okay, WR!

Well, H has been moved from ICU to a regular room on the medical/surgical floor. So that’s really good news.

They have said that the bacteria from his UTI is one that is not resistant to antibiotics, and so we can even take that at home.

He is experiencing some bloating and nausea now. Not sure why. We will have to figure this one out. The nurse offered pain meds???

Now he just needs to get this sepsis resolved.

So, mostly great news.

Whatsright how is your H this morning? And how are you? Are you getting any rest? Are you staying at the hospital? My experience is staying at the hospital with a patient is very exhausting.