SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

I post a lot when I’m sad / frustrated / angry / devastated / etc.

But…today was a good day…bordering on a great day. And not because of anything earth shattering, just a sequence of what felt like small victories.

My H is feeling pretty good, considering his recent hospital stay.

I decided to do NOTHING today. No returned calls, no housecleaning, nothing proactive. Didn’t get H up…thought he (and I) should just rest today.

Had a couple of no stress conversations with H about his expectations and wishes from here on out. I accepted whatever he said with no back and forth.

My son called to vent to me a situation with repairing his truck. I listened quietly and gave no advice initially, and resisted the urge to "mother" him. When he was ready for my input, I suggested he take a little while to be totally bummed that it wasn’t going to turn out as he was planning, then when he was ready, we could brainstorm.

I also supported a couple of options he came up with. Usually he gets bonkers with self pity and exaggerated doom, but today, in reference to my saying that he may have to "travel from GA to LA to get to FLA, but he would get there". And…I can’t even believe I’m typing this, he told me that reminded him of his favorite Bible verse… and proceeded to quote it for me. It was one I was not even familiar with myself. But he knew it Word for Word, and knew what it meant.

First, I want to say that I’m not trying to make a religious point here. Just telling the story to illustrate how he had added to my great day, because that was so important to me personally. Especially since he has not been particularly focused on things of a spiritual nature recently.

On the way home from work, (I’m taking both of them to work because both of their trucks happen to be out of commission at the same time!), my other son told me of a hitch in his plans with his truck as well, but he had already figured out an alternate plan. Awesome, because this son mostly uses anger in situations like this.

Came home and saw my grand baby whom I had not seen in a couple of weeks. A total angel who always makes me super happy.

Then I found out, through looking at pictures online, that my new five-month-old puppy is probably NOT a beagle/basset hound mix, but probably more likely to be a beagle/Texas coon hound mix. who get to be between 65 and 80 pounds at maturity. Yikes! But I adore her, however HUGE she will be! She makes me smile!!!

Then I had a conversation with my H regarding his hopes / plans. What he wants to look forward doing at this point in his life. There are no races to win, no more businesses to start, etc. He and I came up with family stuff, attention to his health, church attendance, etc. I said, "Great, we’ll start tomorrow ", and left it at that.

And I’m not sure whether or not I shared with you all about my son who is incarcerated. When my husband was in ICU, and they were having trouble keeping his blood pressure in a life-sustaining range, I got on the telephone and spoke with some of the jail officials regarding a "deathbed visitation". Thank God we didn’t have to use it at this time. Later on, I spoke gently with my son about the fact that I had checked into such a thing. I was so scared to breach the subject because he is my most vulnerable son regarding bad news, hurtful news. But he answered with a quiet strength. He told me that he understood the situation and that he was praying for his dad every single day. And that I needed to stay strong.

And now, as I was writing this post, one of my sons called me to the front porch to discuss how totally freaked out he was about seeing his dad incoherent on the night that we took him to the hospital. And about how he doesn’t know how he will be able to deal with the pain when he loses his dad. That is certainly a very sad situation for him to be in, but the fact that he came to me to talk to me, and that we could have a 15 to 20 minute conversation about it, was quite amazing.

I don’t know if these things would seem like milestones to some of you, but it seems as though over the last two or three days, I have had amazingly positive interactions with every member of my immediate family.

And I am just so very thankful for it.😊

And, I totally forgot the best part…Any of you have some "positive" to share???

Whatsright, what a wonderful post!

Your sons sound as if they are starting to really grow up. That is so great because you need them.

And the fact you are able to have conversations with your H is such a positive thing. You are remarkable woman!

My one positive for today is the temp is below 100 degrees and we might get rain tonight or tomorrow. It's been so blasted hot!

OH OH and some shelter doggies who were on the kill list were transported by plane to the state of Washington to be adopted. I posted about that on my doggie thread.

Hang in there!

Jeaniegirl…

Fabulous news about the shelter puppy dogs. I think I probably have my last dog now. I have a total of four at the house… three are mine and one is my grand baby’s mother’s that stays from time to time for a few days.

Then I have my 13-year-old, my 18-month-old, and my five-month-old. This five-month-old dog is so huge and she weighs probably about 25 pounds or more, and looks like a lion when she walks. And a little bit of a doofus face. 🤣

I’m not sure what I’m going to do with a coonhound mix, if that’s what she turns out being, but I adore her!

Yes, I feel really good about having a couple of brief and to the point conversations with my husband. I think in my attempt to somehow salvage our marriage, I have a been too imposing on him with demands/expectations. I just don’t think he can deal with it. But now that his health is so poor and we may be facing losing him before two very long, I feel like helping him make his last few years/months be as positive and stress-free as possible is top priority.

So sorry you’re having this awful weather as well. One of my boys works outside, and one works in a warehouse. They are really suffering through this heat. I went online and got them some of those neck scarf type things that you insert little tubes of frozen gel into them to keep their necks cool, as well as "Freezer towels" that they can take out of the freezer and wrap around their neck. I think it might be helping a bit.

Y’all be careful not to get too overheated out there!

WR, what a nice post! Glad you had such a good day.

Things are eh over here - covid has been going through my house one person at a time. It was 117 yesterday. It's been a rough couple months and I'm just blah in general. But I have a good job, we have a nice place to live and everyone is here and accounted for, so that's really what matters.

You’re right, that IS what matters. But it doesn’t mean that snafus along the way don’t get to you!

So sorry that your family is unwell. I sure hope it is the strain of covid that isn’t so severe. Maybe they will build up resistance. 🤞🏽

Oh dear, 117°. And I have been whining about high 90s and low 100s. Wherever you are, I hope you have close to zero humidity… That really helps sometimes.

Out of everyone, I had it the easiest - I was the only one boosted. I wonder if that had anything to do with it?

Yes, it's a dry heat. That actually does help. I'd whine a lot more in lower temps with humidity! My parents lived in the south and the humidity was enough to knock me down.

I’m also recovering well from Covid and planning a trip for the fall. Love those good days.

So glad you had one- I hope they come around frequently for you :-)