Topic is Sleeping.
justabrokendream ( member #3075) posted at 4:55 PM on Wednesday, October 5th, 2022
It looks like the life-changing decision was taken for you by your wife... She appears to be having an exit affair but it would be up to you to pull the plug. I'm sorry this has happened to you.
BeingNaive ( member #30652) posted at 5:26 PM on Wednesday, October 5th, 2022
If you want to accept living with a cheating wife, that is up to you. I think you're doing a disservice to yourself, but only you can decide when you're ready to change things.
I am extremely upset you lied to and KEEP LYING to your kids. Once they find out you lied, which they absolutely will, they will feel very betrayed. Rightfully so. Not only will their relationship with their mother be forever changed, but now their relationship with YOU will also be forever changed and not for the better.
The three of you could be helping each other through this. Instead, you're alone and they will absolutely resent you lying to them. I sincerely hope you call them up ASAP and admit you lied. Explain that you were trying to deal with the news and made a bad decision to lie to them. You can still salvage this IF you come clean to them now. Time is running out though. Please hurry and fix this.
[This message edited by BeingNaive at 5:26 PM, Wednesday, October 5th]
jadedangel ( member #26979) posted at 8:34 PM on Wednesday, October 5th, 2022
Here are some things you can be doing for yourself right now:
Talk to some attorneys. Most will give a free consult. I'm not telling you to divorce her but you need to be information gathering, knowing your right, etc.
Information gathering can also be getting bills/finances in order.
180 her. Do not talk to her unless it has to do with finances or the kids.
In the healing library, you can find information on the 180 and more helpful links to read.
None of this is going to be easy but then again the life you currently have is taking a toll on you in so many ways. You are not going to be able to keep that up. Small steps are a great start.
I would also recommend some IC for yourself. Perhaps its a good thing at this moment that you cannot see a MC yet.
Divorced 2007.
EXWH died 2011
Remarried 2018!
Buster123 ( member #65551) posted at 11:00 PM on Wednesday, October 5th, 2022
Pick up the phone and contact a couple of D attorneys to know your legal options, and if she's still in the A no amount of counselling in the world would change anything, especially when you gave her permission to date her boyfriend who she sees pretty much everyday at work. I suggest you file for D and let your attorney handle the paperwork to end this farce of a M so that you can focus on your business.
Topic is Sleeping.
