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Newest Member: Apostrophos

Just Found Out :
Wife one night stand - heartbroken

Topic is Sleeping.
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Never2late ( member #79079) posted at 10:08 PM on Saturday, October 22nd, 2022

First, you promised not to leave her in exchange for the truth? What? How about this, she is your wife of many years and at minimum the truth is what she owes you regardless of what you decide to do with it.

Second, she stayed in contact with him? What? Not a ONS and does not regret it if she chose to stay in contact. If this were true it would have been immediate no contact.

Third, she kept it from you and lied because she did not want to hurt you. Ok. So it stands to reason there could be (very likely) that there is more information she hasn't shared with you that could or would hurt you. After all she is totally about not hurting you and truth is NOT her priority. You can believe nothing right now.

Lastly, it seems you've already decided to stay. Deciding this, this early, is always a terrible idea. Even if you ultimately decide to reconcile it is a long process to do it properly.

posts: 209   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2021
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LegsWideShut ( member #80302) posted at 10:14 PM on Saturday, October 22nd, 2022

You really should listen to what others are saying here. Some might sound harsh,unkind or mean but these people have gone before you down this road.
I dont know about others but I never see any cheating spouse as a good person or parent. Doesnt make them evil by nay stretch but "good" isnt a word I would use.
You also need to realize that the odds of it being just "one night" are about the same as winning PowerBall. She certainly slipped into "curious" mode awfully easy. For you this is her first rodeo, but the odds of catching someone their first time out aren't all THAT high.
Everything she's done since you found out is literally what every cheating spouse says and does. Do yourself a favor and don't rugsweep, that may cause you more trouble down the line. Give yourself some time, but keep in the forefront of your mind that you do NOT have everything. And if she slipped that easy into cheat mode the (supposedly) first time, there's a good chance of a repeat performance.

posts: 134   ·   registered: May. 9th, 2022   ·   location: New England
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Never2late ( member #79079) posted at 10:21 PM on Saturday, October 22nd, 2022

Also, not sure if mentioned but protection is not just for PIV. You can pick up viruses via oral without protection. I say this because many times this is said when they suit up before PIV but head is conveniently ignored.

posts: 209   ·   registered: Jul. 7th, 2021
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RealityBlows ( member #41108) posted at 10:35 PM on Saturday, October 22nd, 2022

I think it’s fundamental that you understand that cheaters minimize and why they minimize. Even if this was "just" a ONS, a one-off, it’s never an isolated aberrancy.

Cheating is never anomalous. Cheating is just the culmination of a more profound problem.

Even a "simple" drunken ONS has a significant preamble. Cheating begins in the mind long before it actually comes to fruition. Then, once the cheater is mentally ready, there are countless micro, then macro decisions made every step of the long way, followed by actions, followed by self assessments, reassessments and countless opportunities to consider, reconsider and abort their waywardness that are repeatedly disregarded. By the time a cheater decides to actually cross the line, they have long crossed it in their head, they have well considered what they’re doing and the effect it will have on you then follow through and even double down on their betrayals.

These are not rash decisions made in "moments" of weakness as they would have believe. They did exactly what they wanted to do and were prepared to do.

Until you both realize this will you truly realize the scope of work that lies before you.

You are profoundly heartbroken. The physical effects, symptoms of D-Day on the BS are profound. The body and your subconscious knows, innately, the enormity of the problem. Don’t ignore it. Don’t rug sweep it. Don’t minimize it. Listen to what your body is telling you and then take action, definitive action that gets you to safe place, out of infidelity, either through genuine Reconciliation or a well executed divorce.

[This message edited by RealityBlows at 10:40 PM, Saturday, October 22nd]

"If nothing in life matters, then all that matters is what we do."

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ChamomileTea ( Moderator #53574) posted at 11:59 PM on Saturday, October 22nd, 2022

So, you guys are one and onlies and that's a special kind of heartbreak and not something many of us can identify with. That said, it's not crazy rare either. We do see people recover in your situation. There's some extra trauma for sure though and I think it would be good to get some IC (individual counseling) to help deal with it.

MC is not bad if you are willing to stand up to your therapist when s/he has got it wrong. I'm going to copy and paste a post that I made for someone else to save some typing. (injured hand)

My own WH went on a Craigslist binge seven years ago, multiple partners, various degrees of emotional attachment. He even thought he was in love at one point. But ten years before that, I'd caught him out in some online shenanigans, porn, cybersexing, emotional affair, etc. In fact, I caught him out only two weeks before a planned meet-up. I'd already seen an attorney before I confronted him and I was bent on divorce, but he pretty much cried his way out of it and I settled on MC. As you might have guessed already, we too were bamboozled with the "unmet needs" model of therapy, which sounds so reasonable. I upped my wife game, and did my best pick-me polka, but within a couple of years, he was right back at it behind my back. By the time we reached the ten year mark, he had screwed up his nerve to go live and in person on Craigslist.

Of course, I was pretty shocked as you might imagine. I thought we were good. I thought his "needs" were met. Damned if I hadn't been turning myself inside out for a decade to make sure, right? The more I thought about it, the more I revisited what I knew about the "unmet needs model", the less it made sense. I was doing everything right and he still CHOSE to cheat.

Here's the fly in the "unmet needs" ointment...

Healthy ADULTS don't need to be validated. They validate internally. Healthy adults are self-fruitful in the matter of contentment and life satisfaction, and when things come up which make them unhappy, they address the cause and solve the problem. OTOH, the vast majority of cheaters cheat because they're seeking external validation. They are NOT emotionally healthy. They can't do it on their own. They've got a hole inside them and no amount of external validation will fill it. Certainly, the old and familiar validation of a spouse doesn't get the job done. Our "kibbles" are stale and boring. They don't create enough adrenaline anymore to make the cheater feel special. It's like getting an "atta boy" from your mom, right?

This is old pop-psy which is still being taught in schools and still selling books. But it's bullshit. NOTHING you can do (or fail to do) can MAKE another person throw away their core values and do something that's in this kind of opposition to good character. If you're a person who BELIEVES in fidelity, who VALUES fidelity, you don't cheat. End of story. Because when we truly value something we protect it. The cheater has a "but..." in his values system. ie. "I believe in fidelity, but... not if my needs aren't being met." For people like you and me, we have a "so..." in our values system. ie. "I believe in fidelity, so... I don't put myself in risky situations with the opposite sex." This is the BOUNDARY we create organically. We don't sit around planning it out. It just happens, because it's innate to our character to protect what we value. The cheater doesn't have those boundaries because he doesn't really honor his values. He only claims to.

I'm not saying that your marriage is over or that your WH can't change. What I am saying though is that this "unmet needs" model is NOT going to challenge him to clean up his flawed character. In fact, it allows him to offload responsibility onto the marriage and onto YOU. It's not your job to MAKE him feel (fill-in-the-blank-here). It never was. It's his job to manage his feelings. You could have been doing everything exactly perfect for the entire length of your marriage, and he would still have cheated... because there's NOTHING in his character stopping him and he has no coping mechanism to fall back on when he feels unvalidated, inadequate, unappreciated, etc.

It's HIS job to see that his "needs" get met. Sometimes that might mean negotiating with you, say if it's about sex or about the division of labor in your home, etc. But sometimes, it might mean that what he sees as a "need" is unhealthy in an adult, like external validation through attention and flattery.

MC's are there to treat the marriage. The marriage is the client. So, of course they're going to talk about communications, resentments and expectations. The MC doesn't want to alienate anyone, so s/he's looking to find balance on both sides. But marriages don't cheat. People do. The only way your WH is going to make a change that safeguards against further perfidy is by correcting his need for external validation and becoming an emotionally healthy adult whose deeds are as good as his word. No excuses, just honoring the things he claims to value. For that, I would recommend IC (individual counseling) with a therapist who is well-versed in adultery.

The last thing any newly-minted BS needs is to walk into an MC's office, believing that they've come to safe harbor, and being handed a copy of The Five Love Languages or some other "unmet needs" gobbledygook. It would be really nice if we actually did have the power to control our mate by giving them "acts of service" or "words of affirmation", but sadly, we aren't gods who can stop a cheater from seeking out his/her choice of adrenaline rush and new kibbles. Although, this kind of pop-psy suggests that their behavior is somehow our responsibility. The more you dig into this ridiculous line of thought, the more absurd it becomes.

Anyway... sorry for the lengthy post. Nothing fries my ass more than seeing new BS's being sold this bill of goods.

Long and short, if you're going to do MC, never leave a blame-shift on the table. If you aren't ready to stand up to the MC, wait until you've had some IC.

In regard to your premature agreement to R.... the hidden pothole here is that before it's all said and done, you're going to need to take ownership of your choice to stay. I do think your commitment to R was given in duress and I do think it's morally within bounds to walk it back if you need to. Chances are good you were wound up in such a state that you'd have promised almost anything to have the truth. Acknowledging our choice is so important to overcoming feelings of victimization down the road. Right now, at three months out, we're typically still in panic mode, feeling threatened by the possibility of losing our primary person as well as our whole family dynamic and/or lifestyle. It's so overwhelming that it's hard to imagine how important it will eventually become to really FEEL the power of our own agency.

It may sound mean-spirited that people advise you to slow down before you make a new commitment, but in most cases, it's not meant to be. You're going to be okay. It might not feel like it today, but healing is within reach. It takes TIME though, lots of time, and it's damned uncomfortable work. Have faith that you will get there.

Strength to you as you process,

ETA: I just wanted to clarify that you are NOT at that "taking ownership" stage yet. I made another post on that subject to someone else today, and there's a big difference between the "just-found-out" stage and years/decades down the pike. What you're looking for is change in your WS. It takes time to observe what (if anything) the WS has learned. Has she learned boundaries? What are her real core values? Is she still someone you want to be with? That sort of thing. Being noncommittal can feel uncomfortable, but not so much as trying to choke down a life you no longer want. It's okay to step back for now. You will need to take ownership of where you've decided to plant you feet one day, but that day is not here yet. wink

[This message edited by SI Staff at 12:20 AM, Sunday, October 23rd]

BW: 2004(online EAs), 2014 (multiple PAs); Married 40 years; in R with fWH for 10

posts: 7075   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
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notanotherchance ( member #46677) posted at 7:09 AM on Sunday, October 23rd, 2022

Just my 2 cents but it kind of ceases to be a ONS when they spend an additional 3 day's texting each other about their hookup. That means she emotionally bonded with the OM and was not just a roll in the hay with a stranger then adios.

Sending strength my man

[This message edited by notanotherchance at 7:14 AM, Sunday, October 23rd]

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Cooley2here ( member #62939) posted at 2:25 PM on Sunday, October 23rd, 2022

Because you want to R I will not address your M at all.
When I was a pretty 28 year old I flew across the country to see family. An attractive man sat next to me and we chatted all the way. As we were landing he asked if I wanted to have a drink with him. I thanked him for the invitation and declined. Dumb me did not realize….. My friend got the same come on but was more attuned. He kept insisting and gave her his card because he knew she was in town alone for a few days. She declined. There are men, married and single, who have no qualms about cheating with your wife.
My question for you is what made her step over that line. Because it was a huge step. She could have brought into the marriage STIs, a stalker, someone demanding more by blackmail. Ask her why. If she has never done this before this is an aberration.

When things go wrong, don’t go with them. Elvis

posts: 4385   ·   registered: Mar. 5th, 2018   ·   location: US
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justanotherperson ( member #82218) posted at 11:27 PM on Sunday, October 23rd, 2022

Appreciate all the feedback but over-reaction assumptions made. W was not away for 3 months. It was 4 days overseas and the OM lives on another continent so no continued A. Checked his Facebook and he is single. The messages were only over 3 days 3 months ago. Was PS so no health risk. Definite ONS. Too many incorrect assumptions and judging. Trying to keep level head with feedback but difficult.

pantheruspardus Hope you are doing the best you can, considering the shit sandwich your partner decided to present you with.

I do really hope you consider the opinions and input form the many people around this place and see them as experience - with a percentage backing up many of the information passed on. People talk here with loads of experience to back things up. Personal experience and also loads of years of experience regarding other people´s cases. In many, many cases, (including my own) the cheaters behaviour is very, very similar amoung them -if not equal. Lies, trickle truth, love bombing, more lies and further discoveries as time passes on. Rug sweeping is never a good thing. Rushing to reconcile neither.

I do hope you take all opinions around here as important information. Each case is diferent, but most share similar circunstances, cheater´s behaviour and processes. Take the info here as helpful to get you going further, so you can built around yourself a safety net so as to understand what you really want to do with the cards you were unwillingly dealt with. TAKE YOUR TIME. DON´T RUSH. You need time to process the wound your partner put into you. Worst thing one can do is to go and live as before discovery, including the day to day life, sex life and the likes. In my opinion it is PARAMOUNT to take some time of the relation, end the relation as it was for whatever time it takes, do not engage in sexual interaction and the likes. Only this way, can you understand where you want and need to go on the next step. Not doing so and one continues living in the fog without a clue how to behave and/or how things will develop from there.

And please DO NOT minimize things. If things can be worse they probably are. Occam´s razor: The simplest answer is most often correct. Again, DO NOT minimize without proof. Believe her ACTIONS and not her words. Believe me. You will be better of doing so in the long run. For your own GOOD. For your own SAFETY. Ask me how I know. And the very same experience MANY, MANY others went through around here.

If you totally disregard what people say around here, or if you consider the info harsh, judgmental or the likes, and you rush into reconciliation without a care, the more probable scenario in the future is you being hit head on by a 18 wheeler semi truck without notice. Again, ask me how I know.

Consider everyone´s words around here as words of WISDOW. Because THEY ARE. And there are loads of people here who will give you lots of more helpful info than I ever could, so take this information and use it wisely.

Hope you get to a good place in your life - hope you find the peace and inner strengh to deal with this dificult moment imposed upon you without your knowledge and/or fault.

Stay strong. You did NOTHING WRONG. You did NOT deserve to be dealt with a situation like this.

Go for long walks. Exercise whenever possible. Talk with family/friends. Drink plenty of water. Eat the best you can.

Stay STRONG. Get ANGRY. Search for the best life you DESERVE.

[This message edited by justanotherperson at 12:29 AM, Monday, October 24th]

"It can't rain all the time."

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 pantheruspardus (original poster new member #82210) posted at 11:34 PM on Sunday, October 23rd, 2022

Thank you all for the feedback. So difficult to deal with. The ‘WHY’ she did it? Our marriage has not been great for a while (I have not been easy across a number of issues emotional, resentment, financial). I may have been disengaged emotionally for a while evacuee how we have treated each other BUT I have NEVER HAD SEX WITH ANYONE during our 20 year marriage. I have been in situations where I could have but I have not!! I asked W if the other guy stayed the night and she has now told me they fell asleep and did it again in the morning. She felt wanted and was nice to have attention. It’s not like we don’t have sex that irregularly so it’s the emotional breakdown, the anger that she has felt against me and the attention that she was enjoying by OP offering dinner, conversation, curiosity. It’s really no excuse. She told me she came back and tested for STD and was negative.

posts: 3   ·   registered: Oct. 22nd, 2022   ·   location: NSW
id 8761808
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justanotherperson ( member #82218) posted at 11:51 PM on Sunday, October 23rd, 2022

It’s not like we don’t have sex that irregularly so it’s the emotional breakdown, the anger that she has felt against me and the attention that she was enjoying by OP offering dinner, conversation, curiosity. It’s really no excuse. She told me she came back and tested for STD and was negative.

She did it because she wanted to do it. There are literally a thousand million small steps infidelity has to take to get to where some situation end up in. Infidelity can´t be blamed on you. It was on her. The lack of boudaries, the willingness, and the moral weakness to say NO (and each of those million steps was an opportunity to say NO). If the relationship is not good people talk. If it can´t be fixed people go each one his/her way. Cheating is never an excuse or a justification for anything other than a false set of moral inner codes.

Also, the "why" answer is almost always impossible to be achieved. The truth of why? Because she wanted to. Because she was living in an ilusion and that ilusion was by then compartimentalized as part of her life - because she let it reach that far. And she felt good living in that new aspect of it. So she went with it. The safety and confort of the partner, and the trill of what is new and exciting. Again, lack of boundaries, and lack of a moral code driven by respect for the partner.

It WAS NOT ON YOU. Get that straight in your core.

The most important thing for you now (again, talking with experience) is to have her create and respect a set of boundaries - strong ones. Have her elaborate a written timeline. Have her give you full access to her electronics. And whatever you do, notice her ACTIONS and not her words. Again, ask me, and many around here, how we know.

You will get through this , one way or another. But you have to make a stand for yourself. Get angry (in the sense of making yourself be heard for what YOUR needs are) - if BOTH of you want to stay in the relation you must be respected. Wanted. Only actions can show that - not words. And she did not respect you for sure, when she did what she did. Her actions speak a thousand words in the present case.

Above all, take YOUR TIME to understand how you want things to proceed after discovery.

ALWAYS remember

It’s really no excuse

This. 100% this.

You will be ok.

[This message edited by justanotherperson at 12:22 AM, Monday, October 24th]

"It can't rain all the time."

posts: 67   ·   registered: Oct. 23rd, 2022   ·   location: O´Porto
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ChamomileTea ( Moderator #53574) posted at 12:03 AM on Monday, October 24th, 2022

Our marriage has not been great for a while (I have not been easy across a number of issues emotional, resentment, financial).

Trying to compare marital issues to adultery, no matter how challenging those issues might be, is like comparing a fly swatter to an atom bomb. They just don't hit in the same place. Infidelity wounds are very primal and hit you as an abandonment wound, wreaking havoc on self esteem, identity, and the way we bond to other people.

You can't cause other people to throw their own values away and you're not responsible for fulfilling anyone else's reason for being. People have a duty to themselves to solve problems like adults. It's important that you get this so you don't get rolled in MC.

You didn't cause it, you couldn't have stopped it, and you can't fix it. She has to change. She needs boundaries, and honorable values, and real problem-solving skills. You can't wave a magic wand over her head and confer all those things upon her. She has to want it for herself.

BW: 2004(online EAs), 2014 (multiple PAs); Married 40 years; in R with fWH for 10

posts: 7075   ·   registered: Jun. 8th, 2016   ·   location: U.S.
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Trdd ( member #65989) posted at 12:25 AM on Monday, October 24th, 2022

A few people have commented on the "promise me you wont leave if I tell you the truth". Really, who cares about that. To me it's a statement made under duress, it doesn't apply once reality sets in.

The story you received sounds now like the truth. And the whole night and next morning shows you the whole thing was willful, accepted and she had no remorse at the time. Doesn't mean you can't R but yeah, she has a lot of work to do. And D is still an option on the table, whether she likes it or not.

What did she say about continued FB communication?

[This message edited by Trdd at 12:26 AM, Monday, October 24th]

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Bigger ( Attaché #8354) posted at 1:07 AM on Monday, October 24th, 2022

Pantetherusparadus

Would you be willing to share more?
Like what sort of a journey was this? Business or holiday?
Was she alone or a friend or colleague with her?
What sort of a destination?
Why was the OM on the same flight? What was he doing at the destination?

Did they meet the same day they arrived?
What about the next three?

---

I want to be clear on one thing: I truly believe people can reconcile from infidelity. Lot’s of people don’t think that’s possible. I do. This site is a prime example – it was founded by a couple that went through infidelity and reconciled. The admins, mods and guides are a collection of wives and husbands that were cheated on, were cheaters, reconciled or divorced. This can be done.

However… there are IMHO two key elements that need to be acknowledged:
1)You can only reconcile from what you know.
2)There is no guarantee your marriage will reconcile.

Strange as it might sound the later factor is exactly what might save your marriage. It’s like if you have to cross an empty road carrying a bucket of steel bolts you would just walk across. No amount of shaking or rattling will damage the bolts. If you replace the bolts with fresh eggs and add fast flowing traffic to the road… all of a sudden you start to take great care, both of the content you are carrying and your destination.
That’s the mentality you need to reconcile. You need to understand that if not taken dead seriously this can end in divorce.

Part of that seriousness is that you need to know what happened. There can be no lies. What people here can confirm is that if you were to learn NOW – like today – that the next evening they met again and spent another night together… That would hurt. But you two could work through that.
But if you learnt six months from now that they met at the airport when she left and he kissed her goodbye… that kiss could cause more damage to your marriage than knowing they had sex two days. It’s called trickle-truth and what it does is reset whatever progress that has been made to 0 and wreck any trust that might have been reestablished.

This is why I’m hammering about the truth. You really need to know everything to the level of detail you need. That might include knowing the sexual acts – but it might not require that. Its your call, but you need to know who initiated the convo, if any of her friends knew and so on and so on.

Its from this base of truth that reconciliation can be started.

--
Did she really have a STD test? If so there should be a record of it. Can she go get that confirmation? Can she convince you that on the nth at 12:30 she went to X clinic and got a test? How long did she wait for results? Some STD’s don’t come until after some time.
I mention this because frankly – without the confirmation – her words are just about as reliable as "we used protection". After all – if they did use protection why the test?

Once again – not mentioning this to cause you pain. Nothing I can say will add to your pain. It’s more to get you to see that when discovered a wayward spouse will justify, minimize and deflect what they did. I would be willing to place money on that 1) no protection and 2) no STD test. Please prove me wrong.

"If, therefore, any be unhappy, let him remember that he is unhappy by reason of himself alone." Epictetus

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Cooley2here ( member #62939) posted at 1:23 AM on Monday, October 24th, 2022

The reason I gave about "why" is because there is a reason. I agree with Bigger that she did it because she wanted to but how could she do it? My marriage has had ups and downs. My friend even contemplated divorce but neither of us even thought about cheating. What is in your wife’s makeup that she crossed that line. The women I know who cheated never were very invested in their marriages and left for the OP. This has stopped being a ons and became EA/PA even if for a few months. That is why I am staying out of the M and wondering about her basic values.

When things go wrong, don’t go with them. Elvis

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Never2late ( member #79079) posted at 1:24 AM on Monday, October 24th, 2022

Trdd...if OP agreed to this it speaks to his mentality which IMO is not the right frame of mind. That was the purpose of the comment. Just trying to get him the think more clearly in this difficult time and cut through the BS.

Sorry if this is a hijack. Carry on.

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fareast ( Moderator #61555) posted at 1:40 AM on Monday, October 24th, 2022

I urge you to read and reread ChamomileTea’s post. There are no perfect M’s. You are not a perfect partner, but neither is your WW.

Millions of people are unhappy in their M’s, and feel unloved, ignored, disconnected, and resentful but they never cheat. Why? Because they made a solemn vow to their partner not to do it. An unhappy M is never a valid reason for cheating on your spouse. If your WW was resentful toward you she had many legitimate avenues to resolve her issues, without cheating. She chose to cheat because she is broken. Nothing you did or didn’t do in your M caused her to cheat. Take no blame. You can’t cause someone else to act in betrayal of their own values. She needs to change. She needs boundaries.

Many cheaters cling to the “unhappy marriage” rationalization because to do otherwise means to have to face her own lack of integrity, honor, and her selfishness. This will be the crux of your relationship. If she continues to maintain that her cheating was justified by her resentments against you and feeling ignored or disconnected, what happens the next time she harbors anger against you, and some new guy hits on her and tells her she’s pretty. She needs to change.

Always value yourself.

Good luck.

Never bother with things in your rearview mirror. Your best days are on the road in front of you.

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LegsWideShut ( member #80302) posted at 2:04 AM on Monday, October 24th, 2022

Not to be a Debbie Downer here, but you still may not know everything. Did he stay another night?
Why do I ask? Well cheaters lie. Your wife lies.
At first it was " It’s never happened before but she was away, curious (we met so young and never had ‘loads of fun’), she had company and one thing led to another."
And now its "She felt wanted and was nice to have attention." You've already gotten a change in truth here. You may not have it all yet either. Bear that in mind going forward.
And again, met him on the plane and woke up with him the next morning. Not sure on that one myself.
Hang in there, you aren't near the end of that tunnel yet.

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lparistotle ( member #78629) posted at 2:44 AM on Monday, October 24th, 2022

You promised her that you would not leave her if she told you the truth. She has not she is now trickling out the truth. You need to tell her leaving is now an option because she ommitted they had sex twice. The second time she was sober.

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ButAnyway ( member #79085) posted at 4:12 AM on Monday, October 24th, 2022

She told me she came back and tested for STD and was negative.

For your peace of mind, ask her for a copy of the results. If she doesn’t have them, she can get a copy from her Dr/clinic.

You will get a good gauge if she’s being honest or simply trying to appease you / rug sweep.

I’ll be surprised is the statement quoted above is true.

[This message edited by ButAnyway at 4:12 AM, Monday, October 24th]

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Buffer ( member #71664) posted at 11:55 AM on Monday, October 24th, 2022

Sounds like your WW has a definite disconnect with her family emotions. Not feeling bad about what happened during the night, but to be completely comfortable to sleep together and having a round two in the morning prior to undertaking her daily business activities.
Hopefully she has provided you with the hard copy of the result of the STD check and not just a verbal "l am clean".
I don’t understand that because there was an emotional detachment between the two of you that a few hours on a plane and woo hoo off comes the wedding ring, placing the children and 20 years of Marriage with you in a box 📦 and then go a few rounds. Because of a meal and validation from AP.
She will say AP had bad breath, small penis, shit kisser and generally poor performer in bed… Yet did it two times. But really is there true remorse? Or do you feel it is more of a shit I have been caught. Don’t leave?
Has she read any of the books to assist you in this betrayal? Is she helping you? Showing true remorse?
Sorry brother but the trickle truth has begun.
One day at a time.

Buffer

posts: 1318   ·   registered: Sep. 24th, 2019   ·   location: Australia
id 8761861
Topic is Sleeping.
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