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Off Topic :
Feeling very fortunate

Topic is Sleeping.
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 Jeaniegirl (original poster member #6370) posted at 11:04 PM on Sunday, October 23rd, 2022

Fortunate to still have my daughter.

Four evenings ago a woman ran a stop sign at aprx. 45-50 miles per hour and tee-boned my daughter's vehicle. Her car hit a ditch, came back up on the road and rolled three times. Car landed on the driver's side. All side/front air bags deployed, which saved her life.

That dreaded phone call:

She was crying. "Mom, I've been in an accident and I can't get out of my car and I smell gasoline." What a horrible thing to hear! She was about 6 miles away and I got there in record time. A young man had went in through the hatchback and gently carried her out. He was barefoot as he heard the crash and ran out. Luckily she drives a larger SUV and that also helped to save her life. She was taken by ambulance to the ER and was there for several hours. No broken bones. She had a bloody nose but that stopped quickly. It appears the seat belt, with the force of the crash - might have torn her rotary cuff. She sees an orthopedic doc tomorrow about that.

The other person was not injured, just shook up. A young girl, screaming and crying that she was afraid she had killed my daughter.

Both cars a total loss.

I've been hugging my daughter every day. Of course that isn't new - we are big on hugs.

"Because I deserve better"

posts: 3731   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2005
id 8761801
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WhatsRight ( member #35417) posted at 11:29 PM on Sunday, October 23rd, 2022

Oh my God! I don’t even know what to say.

I can’t imagine the horror you went through.It is every parents nightmare. Thank God your situation turned out all right. Thank God for the young man who pulled her out, and for her airbags.

Yes, I can see how you would be hooking her a few extra times every day from here on out.

I can’t tell you how happy I am for you all that it turned out so well. I pray her shoulder gets better soon.

❤️❤️❤️

"Noone can make you feel inferior without your concent." Eleanor Roosevelt

I will not be vanquished. Rose Kennedy

posts: 8235   ·   registered: Apr. 23rd, 2012   ·   location: Southeast USA
id 8761807
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leafields ( Guide #63517) posted at 11:50 PM on Sunday, October 23rd, 2022

Wow! So glad she's still with you. How scary!

BW M 34years, Dday 1: March 2018, Dday 2: August 2019, D final 2/25/21

posts: 3937   ·   registered: Apr. 21st, 2018   ·   location: Washington State
id 8761811
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zebra25 ( member #29431) posted at 11:52 PM on Sunday, October 23rd, 2022

Oh Jeannie, I can only imagine the feeling of panic getting that call. I'm so glad your DD is ok. I'm sure that was very traumatic for her.

Hugs to you both.

"Don't let anyone who hasn't been in your shoes tell you how to tie your laces."

D-day April 2010

posts: 3681   ·   registered: Aug. 25th, 2010
id 8761813
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hurtpartner73 ( new member #80985) posted at 2:43 AM on Monday, October 24th, 2022

I am so sorry to hear about your daughter's accident. I happy that she's going to be okay. Being a parent can be scary. Wish her well!

Me: BH, 49; Her: WW, 47, bipolar/borderline DDAY 4/23/2022 - EA 2005-2009ish? PA? Not sure. TT M 17 years, Trying to R - it's bumpy

posts: 43   ·   registered: Sep. 20th, 2022   ·   location: United States
id 8761830
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DragnHeart ( member #32122) posted at 3:07 AM on Monday, October 24th, 2022

I'm so sorry this happened and am relieved she wasn't hurt worse.

How is your daughter doing emotionally? For a while after the accident I just had I was reliving the crash over and over. Even dreaming about it. It also took me bit to want to drive again. My father was all about getting "back on the horse" when I was younger but this time I just couldn't and now I'm super aware when driving. I think that's completely normal.

Sending having MOJO for her shoulder.

Me: BS 46 WH: 37 (BrokenHeart911)Four little dragons. Met 2006. Married 2008. Dday of LTPA with co worker October 19th 2010. Knew about EA with ow1 before that. Now up to PA #5. Serial fucking Cheater.

posts: 25837   ·   registered: May. 10th, 2011   ·   location: Canada
id 8761835
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 Jeaniegirl (original poster member #6370) posted at 4:02 AM on Monday, October 24th, 2022

Thanks everyone for the good wishes.

Dragn, she is literally reliving the roll-over in her mind. Talking about seeing things fly by. It's really had an affect on her. She said she never saw the car coming. It was at dusk and it appears the girl did not have her headlights on. My daughter is a very safe driver and was not speeding. She keeps saying how fast it happened. She realizes how fortunate she is to be alive. I took her to the salvage yard to get things from her vehicle and she just broke down crying. She loved her car. Sad thing is she only had two payments left on it and we all know how insurance companies try to make people take less for their vehicles. So I'm prepared to fight on her behalf and I got a lawyer who specializes in car accidents for her. The medical division of the girl's insurance company called her the day AFTER the accident and said ..."we are prepared to offer you a cash medical settlement today of ... $1250." Ha!! I was with her and took the phone and asked him if they were nuts as the ambulance ride alone was more than that. I then told them to wait for a call from her lawyer. Not going to let them screw her over. Her vehicle is still valued at $25K with inflation on used cars. She will have to buy another vehicle immediately. Right now she's in a rental car.

When I got to the scene she was already in the ambulance. It was horrifying.

"Because I deserve better"

posts: 3731   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2005
id 8761839
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BearlyBreathing ( member #55075) posted at 4:40 AM on Monday, October 24th, 2022

How scary but so glad your DD is doing pretty well all things considered. Glad the other driver had insurance, too.

Me: BS 57 (49 on d-day)Him: *who cares ;-) *. D-Day 8/15/2016 LTA. Kinda liking my new life :-)

**horrible typist, lots of edits to correct. :-/ **

posts: 6228   ·   registered: Sep. 10th, 2016   ·   location: Northern CA
id 8761846
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Want2BHappyAgain ( member #45088) posted at 12:15 PM on Monday, October 24th, 2022

Oh Gosh!!!

Thank God she survived that...it sounds horrible!

I will be praying for healing for your precious child...physically and mentally. For you too (((HUGS))).

A "perfect marriage" is just two imperfect people who refuse to give up on each other.

With God ALL things are possible (Matthew 19:26)

I AM happy again...It CAN happen!!!

From respect comes great love...sassylee

posts: 6668   ·   registered: Oct. 2nd, 2014   ·   location: Southeastern United States
id 8761866
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sisoon ( Moderator #31240) posted at 4:09 PM on Monday, October 24th, 2022

I'm so glad this wasn't worse. I'm sorry it happened. Very fortunate, indeed.

Many years ago, at the advanced and invulnerable age of 19, I was T-boned at 25 mph by a newly licensed driver. That wasn't a major crash, but it stayed with me for a few years. Rolling over 3 times, unable to get out of the car, smelling gas - that's very traumatic. I think it makes sense for your daughter to relive it again and again for a while. I hope her youth enables her to heal quickly.

I'm sending healing mojo.

*****

When our insurance company low-balled us, my W wrote our state's insurance commissioner. That solved the problem very nicely. The company was head-quartered - and a big employer - in our state. Even so, they apparently had some fear of the insurance commission. Maybe the same tactic will work for you.

Even if I were a stockholder in your daughter's insurance company, I'd be disgusted by the ambulance-chasing and inadequate offer from your daughter's 'insurer'.

[This message edited by SI Staff at 4:09 PM, Monday, October 24th]

fBH (me) - on d-day: 66, Married 43, together 45, same sex ap
DDay - 12/22/2010
Recover'd and R'ed
You don't have to like your boundaries. You just have to set and enforce them.

posts: 30475   ·   registered: Feb. 18th, 2011   ·   location: Illinois
id 8761893
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wildbananas ( member #10552) posted at 4:46 PM on Monday, October 24th, 2022

I've had this call twice and oh man... I know what a gut punch it is. I'm so glad your girl made it through! Big hugs to you all.

Travel light, live light, spread the light, be the light. ~ Yogi Bhajan

posts: 16592   ·   registered: May. 1st, 2006   ·   location: Somewhere
id 8761897
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TX1995 ( member #58175) posted at 6:46 PM on Monday, October 24th, 2022

I felt my heart drop just reading this, I can only imagine how hard it was to get her call! I am so thankful that no one was seriously physically hurt.

I'm the BS. WH had an EA/PA with a cOW. DDay was 4/17. Working on R. Married 15 years and together 20 at DDay.
DDay #2 and #3 6/19. Grew a conscience and admitted a full blown physical affair.
Current and forever status is reconciling. I don't

posts: 1026   ·   registered: Apr. 6th, 2017   ·   location: Texas
id 8761922
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 Jeaniegirl (original poster member #6370) posted at 7:11 PM on Monday, October 24th, 2022

She just called me after seeing the doctor. It seems she does have an issue with the left rotary cuff and will be getting a new MRI in two days. The doctor also said it appears her spine has moved forward and there are some disc issues. She really hasn't stopped hurting since the accident but it's 'tolerable pain.' I really am sad for her as she is so healthy and normally very active.

"Because I deserve better"

posts: 3731   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2005
id 8761925
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ZenMumWalking ( Guide #25341) posted at 8:10 PM on Monday, October 24th, 2022

Aww Jeaniegirl & DD sad sad

WTF is it with insurance companies??? As you said, that's not even enough for the ambulance, to get seen in emergency, for a down payment on another car that she shouldn't even have to buy. Have these guys no shame?

I hope that her path to healing - both physically and psychologically - goes well for her.

Sending lots of strength and love.

((((Jeanie & DD))))

Me (BS), Him (WH): late-50's
3 DS: 26, 25, 22
M: 30+ (19 1/2 at Dday)
Dday: Dec 2008
Wanted R, not gonna happen (in permanent S)
Used to be DeadMumWalking, doing better now

posts: 8533   ·   registered: Aug. 28th, 2009   ·   location: EU
id 8761933
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tushnurse ( member #21101) posted at 8:16 PM on Monday, October 24th, 2022

Wow Lucky she didn't end up w/ a head injury.
She will hit peak soreness 72 hours after the accident. Make sure she is drinking lots of water to flush the toxins from tissue injury. Yes it makes a difference.
If she isn't taking an NSAID she should be, to help as long as not contraindicated.

Make sure she sees a high quality spine neuro surgeon, not just an orthopedist if she needs to see one. Same thing w/ shoulder, you want a guy that only does shoulders. Hopefully her rotator cuff doesn't need surgery, but if it does, request the top shoulder guy.

Me: FBSHim: FWSKids: 23 & 27 Married for 32 years now, was 16 at the time.D-Day Sept 26 2008R'd in about 2 years. Old Vet now.

posts: 20302   ·   registered: Oct. 1st, 2008   ·   location: St. Louis
id 8761934
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 Jeaniegirl (original poster member #6370) posted at 10:10 PM on Monday, October 24th, 2022

Insurance companies. BAH!!! They are offering her $6500 LESS than what her car is selling for NOW on the open market. Her car is low miles and was in perfect condition. Unfortunately the attorney says insurance companies can STILL go by Kelly blue book and offer less even. What a racket!

"Because I deserve better"

posts: 3731   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2005
id 8761955
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grubs ( member #77165) posted at 10:43 PM on Monday, October 24th, 2022

Does she need a car now and does she need to pay off to replace it? Because if so, you are in a game of chicken with the other insurance company. They know most people need a car. I stopped dealing with other people's insurance at all because I found that mine is better in most cases. I just pay the deductible up front and wait to get it back. They still cstart with a lowball offer but raise it fairly easily when questioned with comps.

posts: 1624   ·   registered: Jan. 21st, 2021
id 8761960
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 Jeaniegirl (original poster member #6370) posted at 11:57 PM on Monday, October 24th, 2022

grubs, I told her that. She has great insurance, full coverage with $500 deductible. She's going to call her agent tomorrow to get their input.

"Because I deserve better"

posts: 3731   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2005
id 8761967
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number4 ( member #62204) posted at 1:16 AM on Tuesday, October 25th, 2022

Oh, how awful. But glad it happened that you could get to her so quickly. It's really hard to get that kind of call when your kids live hundreds or thousands of miles away.

Sending good vibes that her pain isn't too bad this week. Even when they're adults, it's hard to see them suffer.

Me: BWHim: WHMarried - 30+ yearsTwo adult daughters1st affair: 2005-20072nd-4th affairs: 2016-2017Many assessments/polygraph: no sex addictionStatus: R

posts: 1373   ·   registered: Jan. 10th, 2018   ·   location: New England
id 8761977
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 Jeaniegirl (original poster member #6370) posted at 8:41 PM on Wednesday, October 26th, 2022

DD had to have ortho surgery on her knee yesterday. Unfortunately I have pneumonia in my lung -- the bottom half of the lung where top lobe had to be removed due to cancer. I've been miserable and not able to help her yesterday. Luckily my sister could step in and take her for the outpatient surgery and stay with her for a while after she got home. She is possibly looking at surgery on the rotary cuff in a couple of weeks. I got meds and a powerful steroid shot and feel a little better today. When it rains, it pours.

"Because I deserve better"

posts: 3731   ·   registered: Feb. 1st, 2005
id 8762265
Topic is Sleeping.
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