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My adoptive brother is in need of a new kidney. Since he was adopted into the family he's not a blood relative however he is family and I love him.

I've decided to go through to see if I can be a donor.

It's not just an out of the blue thing. I've been thinking about doing this for a long time. (One of those things I just haven't talked about that's all).

I have a call with the donor team Tuesday.

So has anyone here done it?

Just looking for some insight.

Thanks

Back 15 or so years ago, our next door neighbor donated to one of her sisters. They were both probably in their 50s. What I remember is, it was a rough surgery. Recovery was long and painful for our neighbor. Of all the details I remember, I remember she was encouraged to get one of those long body pillows to help her get comfortable during her recovery for sleeping. Maybe they’ve improved the surgical procedure since then and maybe it’s not so invasive. Am wondering if it can be done robotically now.

I think the recipient lived another seven or eight years with the donated kidney.

Thank you.

It's not the surgery that's bothering me although I am sure surgical methods have gotten much better.

It's if I'm a candidate in the first place that I'm worrying about. Have to be blood and tissue match. Plus BMI is taken into consideration and I am overweight. Not like huge but enough it might disqualify me.

I guess I'll find out on Tuesday when I speak with the donor team.

Dragn, unfortunately I've only known of one situation. A 40 year old father donated a kidney to his pre-teen daughter and she survived for 3 years. Her Dad died of a heart attack 6 months after he donated. He had been healthy before the surgery. Sorry I don't know of any positive cases.

Well shit that's not good.

I know it's a risk, as is any surgery, but if I am a match how do I live with not doing it and just watching him die?

It's the one organ you can have a living donor for. No one needs to die first.

I'll find out more tomorrow.

Years ago, SO’s daughter had a family member who needed a kidney. She tested and wasn’t a match, but she found she was a perfect match for someone else in the database, someone she didn’t know. She donated her kidney to this person. The surgery went well and she recovered pretty quickly (she was in her late 20s). As far as I know, the person she donated to is still doing well. They’ve stayed in contact and always talk on the anniversary of their surgeries.

What an awesome thing want to do for your brother. I don't know anyone personally, but I'm a fan of the San Antonio Spurs and in 1999, one of our greats named Sean Elliott needed a kidney transplant. His brother donated a kidney to him. Not only did Sean go back to the NBA after his operation, but it's been over 20 years and he and his brother are both healthy. Sending positive thoughts for your brother to get the kidney he needs!

Two dear friends of mine did it last year. My friend was able to donate to her husband. Although they were not related by blood obviously they were a match. It’s been just about one year and everything’s going great for both of them. the surgeries were fine but the recovery was lengthy. The donor and recipient were unable to do anything remotely physical. This means they were unable to even lift the laundry basket or bend over. So you would definitely need to think about who’s taking care of your children and your animals. I was one of their caretakers in the recovery and it lasted about 6 to 8 weeks for the donor. And a little longer for the recipient. But they really were not able to do anything for a few weeks– put out the garbage, walk the dog, pick up the laundry, cook meals, drive the car. They had to have someone with them for the first few weeks 24 /7 to assist.

Also, the donor was overweight, not obese, but definitely overweight, and it had no impact on her ability to donate.

[This message edited by BearlyBreathing at 9:06 PM, Monday, October 31st]

After my last c section where during the surgery they had to cut me open alot more to get to Big D who was wedged in good and didn't want to come out, I can't see how having a kidney removed could be worse lol

I had my insides on my outside, as wh put it.

It's good to read about some good outcomes.

To be honest I have never signed the donor section of my driver's license. I always worried that if anything happened and I was in critical condition, the doctors wouldn't work as hard to save me knowing I was an organ donor. Hell I had a dentist tell me I wasn't worth her time for one broken tooth amd my family doc dismiss concerns I had so this wasn't a crazy thing to think.

Now though I have watched this dear man suffer amd feel if I csn make a difference why not.

To be honest I have never signed the donor section of my driver's license. I always worried that if anything happened and I was in critical condition, the doctors wouldn't work as hard to save me knowing I was an organ donor.

Nope does not happen all the requirements to qualify as a donor are very specific and related to being brain dead and getting that diagnosis. The people that qualify as donors will be dead in a matter of a day even with the technological support we have. When the brain is dead it's like running your computer on battery power. Yah it's working, but time is going to run out.

That said being a donor is a difficult surgery, and healing takes time. Yes it is worse than recovery from the worst Csection, and most abd surgeries.

Being a donor requires you to be extremely healthy. If you match you need to be sure you have no autoimmune issues, and with your past history of joint pain, and issues you need to make sure you have that evaluated, and it may not be required if you match, you have to advocate for yourself. Matching is not the only thing that needs to be evaluated as a donor, and depending on the program, and their requirements may not evaluate all your health. There are donors out there that don't have 4 kids to raise. There are kidney donors that come from cadavers/death donors. There is also a way to live with no kidney function at all, that is dialysis.

So while you want to help your brother, not ensuring your kids have a mom as long as possible is a sacrifice that you probably don't want to make. You can't undo donation.

Thank you for that Tush. I want to hear all sides.

It's scary for sure. And with the crap going on here I need to be in top shape to help dd.