SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Not us, but D texted us yesterday morning to tell us the police were next door, and that the home owner had been found dead. Then no details until today.

D has lived next door to this woman for almost two years, and the only way the woman communicated with them, or anyone in the neighborhood was by leaving a note at your front door if you did something to piss her off. If you waved to her as you passed by in your/her car, she wouldn't wave back. So very anti-social and in her 80s. You never saw anyone at the house, other than the landscapers. So I guess she was overdue with her payment to them, and they had a key to her house, so when they knocked and didn't get an answer, they unlocked the door and opened it, only to be stunned by the smell. They shut the door and called the police. I'm pretty sure this warrants an autopsy, but based on financial documents, they suspect she'd been dead about a month!! 🤮

I mean, it's so sad. This poor woman was so removed from society that no one missed her for over a month. Evidently she had grandchildren who lived twenty minutes away, but they were estranged from her because she was so awful. It reminds me of The Golden Girls episode where the nasty neighbor, Rita Claxson (who wants to cut down a giant tree in her parkway) drops dead, and no one comes to the funeral. She had no friends, and was just plain mean. Rita Claxson had no need for people or nature. I always thought that particular episode was an outlier - I mean, who, in a suburban neighborhood, has no contact with any of their neighbors to the point where they won't even say hello?

I remember my old hairstylist lived in a townhouse where the woman she shared a wall with died, and wasn't found for a week. My hairstylist said her dog had been acting funny for the few days leading up to the discovery - she obviously smelled something. And I thought that was horrific, but a month??

That's really sad. It sounds like someone with untreated mental illness.

I know someone that won't go outside or talk to anyone but immediate family but they don't live alone. They feel the psych meds made them sick and don't believe they need help. Meds don't help everyone and do come with side effects so there is that too.

There is a shortage of mental health practitioners and where I live it is mostly assembly line care at best. Seems like we don't care enough about people with mental health problems and also the elderly.

Ugh - how horrible. Hopefully, she has found peace in her afterlife.

I am just amazed that someone so alienated would be willing to give a house key to anyone, let alone the landscaper.

Well, I have family, friends, & coworkers who would all definitely notice if I hadn’t been seen or heard from for a month, but I don’t know my neighbors, really. My H has talked with the guy across the street a couple of times, and we’ll wave to him and the guy on the corner, but that’s it. 🤷🏻‍♀️ There aren’t any families with young kids around and we just have never had a need or a desire to interact beyond the most brief and casual of ways. If there were a dead body in any house on my street except my own, I’d have ABSOLUTELY no clue. 🤷🏻‍♀️

This is really sad.

Two of my mother’s brothers were alcoholics. One started working the program with AA and never looked back. The other one never slowed down with the drinking. He died in his easy chair in his apartment, and wasn’t found until there was a terrible smell.

It’s true, it is hard to believe that family would not even check in from time to time. But at the time my uncle passed away, I don’t even think my mother had a phone number, or an address for him. His life was such a mess.

I hope she found peace.

I suspect the reason the gardeners had a key is that she didn't have a garage, so any yard supplies they would need might need to be kept in the basement. And if she wasn't home when they came, then they could let themselves in.

But yea, what a sad state of affairs that someone can be so alone to the point that NO ONE misses their absence.

1. That's really sad.

2. Wow no one smelled this? I mean I have had a mouse die behind the dryer, and it made being in the mud room unbearable until we found it. A human body decaying has real and lots of stench. I know that often people are found dead because neighbors complain of odor sooner than later. Yuck.

Gonna be an outlier here.

Not sad. She died the way she wanted to live, based on her alienation of everyone. Alone.

Sounds peaceful. 😂

I bet they had to hazmat that house though. Ew. I think you liquefy after a few days.

Yea, I'm surprised no one smelled this. Could be for a myriad of reasons - D was having the exterior of her house painted, so that's what her immediate perimeter smelled like. And landscapers are doing spring clean-ups and laying mulch, so lots of other smells to mask this one.

I remember once being asked to visit a patient on our hospice services that was in the hospital, and only had days to live. She had metastasized cancer, and an open wound with gangrene on her abdomen. She was obese, so whatever wound was there, was difficult to keep clean. I had been forewarned that the stench in the room was strong due to the necrotizing tissue, but I was not prepared for that. I used to carry lavender and eucalyptus essential oils with me, and before I went into the room, and took a dab of one of those and rubbed it between my upper lip and nose. I lasted about five minutes and had to excuse myself because I thought I was going to throw up. I felt SOOOO bad for this woman (who I think was only in her 40s). I did go back in again after dabbing more oil on, but could only manage about ten minutes.

So yea, you'd think a whole body decomposing would raise red flags. The gardeners knew as soon as they opened the door, and knew to shut it up immediately.

It’s sad that this is how she choose to live (and die).
I think about this sometimes for myself. I do not talk to other people every day. On workdays I do, but there are weekends where I don’t speak to anyone. I know my neighbors, but we don’t socialize. We all keep our cars in our garages so it’s not obvious if someone has or has not been out and about.

They will find my body half eaten by cats, who have will no regrets.

Not sad. She died the way she wanted to live, based on her alienation of everyone. Alone.

I’m not sure I agree. Human beings are not meant to be alienated. And I feel that, at least, in most cases, when someone chooses alienation, it is for faulty reasoning, not some thing they REALLY want. Maybe they have fears due to hurt. Etc. I don’t know. Just my two cents worth.