SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hi all,
I was going to post on a previous post of mine but I've been off of SI for awhile because of the D craziness. It's literally costing me every penny and every spare moment fighting this mess.

So my STBXH has taken my DS14 for the last 3 months and even with police intervention I have not being able to see him and communication is limited on the flip side mt DD15 was told by my STBXH that he wouldn't be picking her up for any more visitation. My kids haven't seen each other in months as well. The attorneys have mandated counseling with a therapist that can testify in court to whats best for the kids. We have all seen the therapist except for my DS14 as the therapist was out of town and could only do a remote session which I flatly refused due to STBXH being present.

Mediation was a huge mess,no aggreance on anything and STBXH's attorney has said he is going to challenge the post-nutial agreement giving me 75% of everything and has even vowed to appeal any unfavorable outcome and will keep appealling it. Depositions are scheduled for next month.

On the additonal point we have a court order stating that no paramores be around our children and STBXH has my DS14 at the girlfriends house and also at his place weekly--hence the info from her XH whom I've helped in the past.I'm gettingy solid proof from my PI verify shortly.

I've wanted my attorneys to file a motion for contempt on the custody but they are hoping having the therapist making the determination and testifying in court will give me full custody...I am just not sure at this point. The wheels of justice turn slowly here.

My narc STBXH will not play by the rules, I shouldv'e known what to expect.I know this is going to be the long game, he's saddled paying rent, mortgage, all the bills etc. and legal fees.

I'm just so tired already of all this mess.

Yes divorcing a narcissist will make you insane. I’m currently going through this war with my ex and he is fighting me on everything and asking for spousal support and for me to pay his lawyer fees when he makes more money than me. Of course he is self employed and is hiding money so my lawyer has to subpoena bank records and possibly hire a private investigator. It is so draining. I can hardly wait for the day to have ties completely severed and this divorce over with.

Edited to add mine is also trying to alienate the kids by constantly playing the victim role and so far has been successful. Its mind boggling!

[This message edited by crazyblindsided at 4:50 AM, Wednesday, July 19th]

Crazyblindsided---a HUGE resounding YES!It looks like our marital history with the serial cheating narc are playing out in symphony right now!

Mine is hiding money and self-employed as well! STBXH is playing the victim & has said for years he only wants my DS not my DD, and my damn he's making it that way.

My STBXH's discovery sent to my attorney was a joke--half filled out and lies throughout! I'd love to hear how your going about the finance investigation. Mine is so dumb--he took $60K out of a savings I didn't know about prior to the D being filed and had the statement sent to my house

Mine has cheated throughout our whole M and that is why when I filed for D in 2016 I had him sign a post-nuptial giving me 75% which include an infidelity agreement and that didn't stop him from cheating!

[This message edited by Crazytrain101 at 2:05 PM, Wednesday, July 19th]

I'm so sorry for you and your kiddos! Him clearly only "wanting" your DS and not your DD is disgusting and honestly should preclude him from any custody and I think that's what your lawyer is advice is geared toward. I'd follow it to a T even if though it's hard. Hang in there!

The fact that he has abandoned his daughter, will look really bad to the judge. It will affect his bid for custody of your son.

Childofacheater,
Thank YOU! I shouldn't be surprised but I still am...my STBXH has single handidly drove my DS away from not only ME but even his sister DD15 and my entire family and is keeping him hostage with his brainwashing--unbelievable.

I want my attorneys to file a contempt BUT they are wanting the therapist to make the dtermination and come to court to testify IF she sides on full custody my way. This wait for all the pieces is literally breaking my heart.

I am trying so hard to look at the long game.

Hellfire,
When my DD15 was still going to his house for visitation the police were called on more then one occasion SO STBXH's attorney told him to not take her until she got "help"..My DD and DS have not talked or seen each other because of the situation in more then 2 months! My STBXH is dividing and conquering to get my DS away from anyone.

I can only hope and pray the therapist can see, my DD said when she met with her that the therapist cannot imagine this in a 50/50 custody situation. My STBXH has not responded one time in 6 months to any email-not a phone call pertaining to the kids so NO co-parenting or communication will ever happen.

My Mom is considering getting grandparent rights because he is being kept from her as well--unfreaking believable

My Mom is considering getting grandparent rights because he is being kept from her as well

Wow I can't imagine this. What a sicko! My xWS is a sicko too they are total sociopaths. He tried to divide and conquer our kids too, especially after he tried to strangle my son. He actually got our daughter to believe his side of the story

These kind of people are dangerous and psycho I really regret having ever met him and will forever be sorry that he is the father of my children.

Reading your stories is scaring the crap out of me that this might be my future soon. Yikes!

Hugs for you all.

Hang in there, CT101. When it comes to sociopaths, focus on winning the war, not the battle. The long game is excruciating, but sometimes necessary.

Fingers crossed that things go in your favor.

I hate to be pessimistic but I think that even if you get full custody, the damage is done. Your son is a thrall to your ex. If your ex returns your son to your care, it will be like handing off a ticking time bomb that will explode the second it’s under your roof. Even if you win in court, he will be 16 or 17 by that point, so you will have little ability to control him.

Crazyblindsided, yes and agreed 100%. Mine has been trying to divide and separate even before the D was filed so I am not surprised, my DS has thought that my STBXH was going to kill himself and feels a sense of fear and responsibility for his Dad so siding up an loyalty is what he feels he has to do.

I am very regretful too but that's done, all I can do is push forward and give all I can to heal my kids.

Sending hugs, divorces with this kind is not for the faint of heart

BluerthanBlue,
I have thought the very same thing with my son, he just turned 14 and I am guessing I can get full custody in a few months and since the court order sayhs both kids have to be with the therapist until 18 I can only hope.

You are 100% right if this takes years I will not be able to fix the damage, when I have had him (not in the last 3 months) the sweet boy slow dances to Sinatra in the kitchen with me and insists on snuggling everynight before bed, I can only hang on to the fact that I can get him before it's too late. I see the hope still hanging by a thread, heartbreaking.

Thanks Forks-thats's a great reminder in the midst of this, battle vs. the war. I think the only positive is that my STBXH has created within me a strong adversary I wasn't before.

Dragnheart,
I really hope you don't have this headed your way but with this type of person and the narc combined you have to expect anything.