SurvivingInfidelity.com^®

Hey everyone , just arrived home from my week holiday had a lovely week away with my boys yet was bombarded daily from him telling me that he felt like shit and kept asking me if I missed him etc, every time he spoke to the kids he kept asking to spk to me then going in a mood when I said I couldn’t,arrived home yesterday and straight away he started again smothering me and asking me for forgiveness asking if he can come home and stay once a week etc etc I am back to reality with a bump and feel like shit again :(

Don’t let him ruin your vacation.

Don’t answer his phone calls or texts. Block him if necessary.

Read up on the 180 and then do it. You do not have to be subjected to his whining and begging and pleading. It’s a form of abuse and it is mental torture.

Set boundaries. As in you may speak to kids each night at X time. Then when he calls he only speaks to them. When they are done speaking they hang up and end the call.

If he asks for you the kids should know to say that you are busy and cannot come to the phone.

If his harassment continues, get an app where you communicate only via email. Or set up an email address just for him to use and you check it once or twice a week. If he abuses it then you stop checking the email address at all.

I did the hard 180 with my H living in my house with me & kids. It can be done.

Stacey, if you want the breathing room to figure out what's best for YOU, here's what you need to do:

1) Find someone who can facilitate handover and pickup of the kids. Your mom? A friend?
2) Tell your husband that you are blocking him from texts and calls but not emails. He can use email to discuss the kids and finances. Come up with a visitation schedule that works best for the kids and for you. It's much easier to relax without an impending text or call!
3) Remember that potentially a judge will read your emails back and forth so keep yours calm, collected, and reasonable. Let him spew. It could come back to haunt him.
4) Take the space to think about what's best for YOU.

You need some peace. Find a way to make it happen right now or he may just badger his way back in based on your exhaustion and confusion alone!

I think we both know that having sex with that many escorts, wasting family money, putting your health at risk, betraying your relationship like this, it's likely a deal-breaker. But you don't need to decide that now. You have decided for now that you want PEACE and a SEPARATION. Take steps right now to get that, and then you can breath and think about the future.

All the best to you.

Thank you so much for your reply, I have made it very clear I want to separate and I want space but he will not give it to me , he says he doesn’t ant to arrange childcare as he should be able to come and see them when he’s likes as it’s his house too.

He came just now and our middle boy didn’t want to go out so he went funny ans said he feels disconnected he should be home ect etc, my son has a sore knee that’s why he didn’t want to go.

He then said he is scared I will meet someone else and move them in etc and I said well just remember this is all your doing you made the choices you did and now your sorry and showing remorse I’m meant to forget about that am I.

Tbh I have put up with Years of his attitude and disrespect and this is the first time I have ever stood my ground and he doesn’t like it but he’s acting mentally unstable he is telling people he will never give up .

I could understand more if I had just left him for no reason why he wouldn’t accept it but his selfish ways he’s not willing to accept anything I say or want.

If you're afraid of him, you might consider calling the domestic violence hotline 1.800.799.SAFE (7233) and getting some advice. You don't have to have a florid history of wife-beating to use those resources. If you feel like he's unstable and you don't know what to do, get some expert help. You can also use the website or text messaging.

If you feel like you're safe, honestly, I'd just get an attorney and file. Your lawyer can file motions for exclusive use of the home, child custody orders, whatever you need to prevent your WH's harassment.